Comedy of Errors
by SpeakingThroughWrittenWords
Summary: AU. Mistaken for another, this town has Matthew staying with a Englishman he does not know, confessing feelings to a man, and escaping the law he has not broken. Alfred's just mad Arthur has locked him out of the house.
1. Don't You Feel Special?

**So You (The Reader) Know What No One Else Will...**

"But monsieur! I beg thee to reconsider!"

Constable Vash Zwingli sighed. How many times had he heard this? Too many. And the man was not really doing anything that would make him want to reconsider anything.

"The law is the law, Frenchman," he frowned, locking the cell and staring at the other inside. "You said you didn't have the money on you."

"Not as of now~"

Vash winced. He could only imagine what sort of thing this prisoner might try to do to raise the money for the fine. "No."

"Please?"

"You don't plead with the law. You plead with the justice when they interpret it."

"And you seem a little young to be part of the law."

Vash did not bother to respond to that.

His prisoner sighed, leaning against the back wall where he sat. "Oh, I suppose there is nothing to it then. My life cannot get any worse then it is now."

"Good for you," Vash responded, walking back over towards his desk. The other pouted, as if he had expected him to question into it. Vash did not bother. He was likely to hear the story anyway. And he was likely to let him say it. A lot of the stories were obviously fabricated, but sometimes Vash needed some new material for his sister's bed time stories.

"I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for my ex."

"Oh?" Vash began looking through the paperwork he had to fill out. "What is your name?"

"Francis Bonnefoy." Francis sighed again, as if being Francis Bonnefoy was such a burden. Vash had no doubt. It probably was.

"Does your ex live here?" Vash prompted. He was a little surprised this was not brought up earlier. Most convicts seemed absolutely certain even an ex would help them out of jail.

"I have no idea," Francis shrugged, a slight smile on his face. "I haven't seen him for years."

_Him. Oh, well, _that_ explains it._

"Talk about a rule breaker! The man did not know when to stop, really. But the most amazing part was that his boy looked exactly like mine! They could have been twins."

"You have children?" Vash sent out mental apologies to society in general.

"Yes... and they did look exactly alike. But they did not act anything similar, no not at all." Francis seemed to think about it for a while before speaking up again. "And everything was perfect for such a long time."

The Frenchman paused for dramatic effect and Vash squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "And then?"

"Oh, he and the older boy just vanished one day. He was always rather sensitive and stubborn, taking offense at something and then refusing an apology."

"What did you do?" It would have had to have been bad, if the other man just left him. Vash still mentally hit himself for asking. Francis looked like he had no idea. Of course he would not think whatever had happened was his fault. Vash could already tell that about him and he had only known him for an hour.

"And mon chéri decided to go looking for his brother just last year," Francis shook his head, eyes shutting. "I told him not too, I've been looking for his brother and mother for years."

Vash really hoped 'mother' did not refer to the other man.

"Kirkland. Does that ring any bells?"

"Sorry," Vash shook his head, setting down his pen. He turned his head to look back towards Francis. "You'll probably have a few days here before they send someone down to pick you up and take you into the city for your sentence."

"All right," Bonnefoy breathed out. Vash rubbed his temple.

"I'll send word out to ask if anyone's heard of you and wishes to pay your fine." Francis opened his eyes, looking at him with some surprise.

"Merci!"

"But you don't seem like someone who has been looking for their..." Vash hesitated, trying to think of the right word, "wife." Now he was reminded too much of Berwald.

"Well, he left the divorce papers. You don't expect me just to wait around until I find him, do you?"

Vash had a headache.

* * *

_Here are the notes, just so no one is confused:_

_Vash is the only policeman in town. Do not ask how he manages it by himself, but he does and he is good at it. He has only had to fire his gun once. At Ivan. Right before Alfred, Arthur, and Gilbert restrained the Russian for him. To be fair, Ivan was just trying to protect himself. Natalia is scary._

_What did Francis do? Think about it. Really think. I believe the real answer will be brought up later. If not, just hit me with a brick and I will squawk._


	2. Apologies Galore

**Someone Warned You Matty, They Really Did**

The town looked very strange, but Matthew Williams was unlikely to go any further. The snow was continuing to fall and the train had stopped very close to here. Wherever _here_ was.

He had heard of this town before. His father had spoken of it before, rather absently. But it was not his dad's words which he remembered, it was everyone else's words who he had heard speaking about here. '_Never get trapped in Hearth. You will regret it._'

But if Matthew missed this town he could not be considered actually looking for his family. He did not have that much to go off of, but he hoped it would be enough. Surprisingly, failing for an entire year did not bother him as much as it might have. All of the travelling was fun, if not as successful as he had wished it to be. Matthew was beginning to wonder whether looking for his brother was now just an excuse so he could continue to travel. His father had been so willing to pay for his expenses because of it.

In that way, Matthew almost felt as if he were taking advantage of him.

But he was not going to find anyone today. He would ask around tomorrow, but now he was exhausted. For a long while he was one of two people on the train and for some reason that kept him from getting any sleep. It seemed too personal. The other man had not had the same problem. Seeing the sign for an inn in the distance headed towards that.

He was stopped as another body collided into his, his hand dropping the handle of his luggage and several other boxes tumbling into the snow.

"I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, no... it was my fault, eh!"

Matthew quickly helped gather the fallen parcels and handed them to the man who had bumped him. He blinked. He should not have been surprised in seeing the other passenger of the train, but for some reason he was. "No, I wasn't looking where I was going!"

"But..." the other blinked at him through the cascade of hair which had escaped his ponytail and was now concealing his eyes. "I bumped into you from behind... how can that be your fault?"

Matthew thought about it. "No harm done," he smiled at the other as the man counted his packages and seemed to arrive at a satisfactory number. "Eh... You new here?" Considering how small of a town it was, Matthew was a bit surprised to discover this man actually meant to stop here instead of missing another stop. Appearances could be deceiving, but considering the amount of caution he had heard about this town, the Canadian was certain it was still strange.

"Yeah," the other nodded. "Moving in with a friend. He's just..." he paused, looking around the area. "Late. Typical of him though."

"Not bad weather to be waiting in," Matthew smiled. Of course, he liked snow. But it was not snowing now and the other seemed dressed warmly for the occasion, so he did not feel like he was out of place mentioning it.

"Not at all," the other smiled back. "I've heard a lot of things about this town, but it seems rather pleasant."

"I know," Matthew nodded, looking around. Despite all of the horror stories, Hearth did not seem like a place that was capable of all the horrible things he had heard of. As Matthew was not usually the type to believe rumours that did not have fact backing them up, he was disinclined to think more on what he had heard. A few days here before heading into the city, he could find a phone book for the area for names and ask around if that failed. Other than that... sightseeing.

"Sorry again."

"No, no! It was nothing, eh! I'm sorry!" Matthew waved off. The other laughed.

"I'll stop apologizing if you stop. Agreed?"

"Right," Matthew nodded, looking again towards the inn.

"See you around, then?"

"Maybe," Matthew smiled, waving as he headed towards the inn. Well, so much for the horror stories he had heard of Hearth. Someone was moving in and not insane and everyone else here was like that at one point. So what could go wrong in the few days he was staying?

* * *

_Notes:_

_I called the town Hearth for obvious reasons. But if it is not obvious, I did not want to call it Hetalia, because it includes more than just Italy. And I wanted something a little more original from Chikyuu, just because that has already been used by people._

_Toris and Matthew apologize a lot. You guys are not Kiku! Honestly.  
_


	3. But We Love Him Anyway

**Toris Is A Bit Masochistic**

"Toris! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I was coming over, and then I saw this nail polish on sale and I was like 'Do I have enough in my wallet to buy this?' and then Berwald was all like 'mhm mm hmm mh' and Tino translated that the colour I wanted was like, already being held for Natalia! Like, that was totally unfair!"

"Nice to see you too, Feliks," Toris sighed. _Why did I want to live with him again?_

Because Toris was secretly a masochist and liked suffering, probably. Oh, hell. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Another lie. Toris knew exactly what he was getting into.

"You weren't, like, completely bored while waiting for me, were you?" Feliks looked upset at the thought and Toris found himself enforcing the bad behavior by stopping the guilt midway.

"No. There was this guy I bumped into and we talked for a few minutes." Toris inwardly hit himself. He had not offered, nor had asked for a name. He was such an airhead. Not that the other man had seemed to think of it either.

"Ooooh, who?" Feliks asked, interested.

"I don't know," Toris said reluctantly. "He was going over there... I think he needed to make sure to get a room at the inn."

"Oh, well! I, like, know everyone here. Small town and all, y'know. What'd he look like?"

"I don't think he was from here," Toris suggested. With that luggage, the other man must have just arrived as well. Was he on the train? Toris had not been looking. He had been too wiped out when he had gotten on the train, he almost missed the stop. Which would have meant a very long wait of going through the entire loop again to this particular stop again.

"Pu-_lease_, Toris-baby. No one stops by here."

Reason one why Toris had not mentioned the name of the man he was moving in with in his short conversation. He really hoped to have a chance in this town before being excommunicated by this relationship.

"Then why is there an inn here?" he asked.

"Cause the rooms get used," Feliks responded as if it were obvious. Toris gave in.

"He was taller than me... blond. He wore glasses... and–"

"Blond hair? You, like, sure?"

"Ah, yeah," Toris blinked.

Feliks pressed forwards. "Blue eyes?"

"Um... yes. I believe so."

Feliks' reaction was, in all rights, a complete over reaction.

"That was_ totally_ Alfred! Oh. My. God."

Toris stared at him for a moment, trying to process the reaction, failing, and falling into his usual reaction to Feliks. "What?"

"He was kicked out!"

"Kicked out?" Toris blinked. "From where?"

"From home, genius! Arthur finally, like, kicked him out!"

"I thought he was from out of town," Toris rubbed the back of his head.

"_Nuh-uh_!"

He recognized that look on his friend's face. Absolutely thrilled with a piece of gossip that he was likely to tear to pieces all of the place. Toris felt as if he had just started a wildfire.

"Well, come _on_ Toris!" Feliks turned around and begun to walk towards a different street. "We're totally going to have to make cookies now!"

Toris stared down at his belongings, sighed, and followed after the other.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Tino and Berwald own the convenience store. Which is why Feliks complains about them. A lot. He is not allowed to ask them to hold things for him anymore, because he would do so with practically everything that came in._


	4. I LOST THE GAME!

**Antonio Just Lost The Game**

**(And He Was Doing So Well Too!)**

Antonio had never been so nervous before. He was usually relaxed and for good reason. What good would it do to be worked up everything? Quite unlike his Italian boyfriend, who seemed to think it was difficult to be anything but.

But it was winter and his dear Lovino hated the cold. Antonio decided not only would this be the perfect way time to act (cheering him up and making the step forwards at the same time!), but as Alfred had taken Yao's truck into the city the other day Antonio could finally get the ring he had ordered.

That was why he was nervous. He was going to propose. Who would not be nervous? Just because a relationship was going well did not mean they would say yes. And Lovino was very emotional. As in every single emotion, not just the crying part which most people would think of when someone said a person was emotional.

What if the ring had not come in? What if Alfred somehow messed it up? He liked the man, but Alfred did not always keep responsibility well. But even Arthur was willing to admit when Alfred said he would do something for someone else it was more probable he would do it than for himself. Which is why he had even asked.

Still, he had known it would be later when Alfred would return. The drive was not short. So it was understandable that he was surprised to see the other, dragging a suitcase filled with whatever for whoever.

Sometimes he wondered how Yao managed the job by himself. Some of the stuff he had to carry would be difficult for anyone. And he knew better than to think Muhammad actually did anything.

"Alfred!" he called, reluctantly leaving the warmth of his house and rushing out to the street. The other did not stop and he called out louder. "Alfred!"

Alfred stopped and turned around, as if looking for him. His eyes passed by him once and only landed on him the second time around. Antonio tried not to be offended.

"You were able to get it, right?" he asked expectantly as he made his way towards him. Alfred stared at him for a bit longer and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else." His voice was quieter than usual and the smile was hesitant.

Mistaking him for who?

"Wha..." Antonio tried, but Alfred had already turned and was walking away. Trying to think it out, Antonio came up with a few explanations. Whatever Alfred was playing at though, it meant one thing.

He either did not have it, or was not going to give it to him. Which meant Antonio was not going to see it. It hurt, because he really did think he could trust the American with it.

_Should I try and talk to him again? Or ask Arthur? For all I know, Alfred could be off his meds again._

The thought was not reassuring.

Antonio retreated sadly back into his house and picked up the phone. Whatever the case was, he _was_ going to get that ring. If Alfred did not have it, he would go into the city himself. Which would be a long walk, unless he could get either Kiku or Eduard to loan him a vehicle. And someone to drive it for him.

"What?" came the annoyed voice on the other side of the line. Antonio did his best to push his usual cheery tone into his voice.

"Lovino, it's me!"

"Oh." There it was, the beautiful sound of Lovino trying to be angry still and failing. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to call tonight off. Something came up–"

"What?"

"I'm very sorry Lovi. Please forgive me?"

"Why?"

He could not say the real reason and Antonio struggled to come up with another excuse. "Just–"

"You don't want to see me?"

"That's not it at all!"

"Well, too bad, because that's what's happening!"

And he hung up on him.

Antonio frowned at the phone.

Well, that could have gone better.


	5. The Funny Thing Is People Wonder Why

**Don't Worry, Ivan Always Feels Like Punching His Friends**

"You're going, aru?"

Ivan decided that although throwing his bowl at Yao's head would be amusing, he would hate having to apologize to the Vargas brothers and dealing with Vash afterward. Broken face to match broken leg would have been a good set.

But really, why was it that everyone he told was surprised to hear about it?

"Yes. I'm going," he tried not to roll his eyes. "Might as vell, everyone else is."

"You know this is just Natalia's way of trying to sleep with you again, but suit yourself, aru," Yao shook his head. Ivan did not bother to respond to that. Oh, he knew his sister was rather insane. He would have put her in in a mental institution, except they failed rather spectacularly in keeping her in there. She would be completely sane to _them_. And restraining orders never worked. In fact, the best way to keep her out of trouble was to be nearby, but not too close.

He did love his sister, after all. Just not like _that_.

"This your vay of saying you're jealous?" Ivan smirked, watching Yao blanch.

"You wanna refill, Ivan?" Feliciano asked from over the counter. Ivan shook his head.

"No, I think I'll be going," Ivan shook his head. Feliciano seemed to disappear behind the counter. He was strange like that. Ivan was much better at appearing without people noticing than disappearing. "Are you going?" he asked Yao.

Yao appeared to try and not roll his eyes. "No, aru. Have to stay off this," he waved at his leg. "On the plus side I'm making Muhammad miss it too, to make up for it, aru."

"I zink you're not going just so you don't see Kiku," Ivan smirked. Yao scowled at him. Ivan could not understand why. It was not as if it were subtle, how Yao always tried to help his 'sibling' out. Kiku had made it well known he did not want nor need Yao's help, but the Chinese man seemed adamant. Ivan could not understand it. A Chinese man who wanted a giant family? He tried to adopt every Asian who came by!

Except for Yong Soo. But that was not saying much.

"If you weren't going, I would say the same about you and Alfred." Ivan frowned and Yao sighed sadly, swirling the ravioli he had been given but had not ordered in his bowl. "I don't want him mad at me, aru. And this time it was over something so stupid, aru..."

"Alfred?" Ivan snorted. Yao nodded. Made sense. Alfred was really stupid. "You mean he hasn't asked Kiku out yet? Vhy doesn't Kiku just ask him?"

"Alfred is the only one who doesn't know Kiku knows, aru," Yao grumbled. "And Kiku wants to keep it that way, for whatever reason."

Ivan thought about it, came to no conclusion, and gave up. Kiku would have almost been an okay person, except for how he decided to deal with the people he did like. Ivan early on decided not to be on the man's friend list. He had his own problems without having Kiku adding to them.

"Relationships already so tricky... vhy make it harder on zemselves?" Ivan tried to make his relationships as easy as possible and they still never worked out. It was very irritating to watch those two act as if they had all the time in the world.

"I don't think it's a conscious effort, aru."

* * *

_Notes:_

_Yao is a local truck driver and get the goods from the closest city to the town of Hearth. Muhammad is his partner. Yao ends up doing most of the work. As Muhammad says, 'What kind of an idiot would make an Indian do physical labor?' Strangely enough, he is still getting payed for doing nothing._

_Feliciano and Lovino work together in their own restaurant. How anything gets accomplished with the two of them there is beyond me. They do like cooking, but people often do not get what they ordered. Ludwig and Arthur complain about it constantly. Roderich no longer goes there, much to Elizaveta's sadness._


	6. It Is Also A Miracle

**Feliciano Thinks And Acts At The Same Time, It Is Called Multitasking!**

"Ve... it's time to close up!" Feliciano called, mouth shutting as he saw his brother on the phone.

"Oh." Feliciano tried his best to hide himself. It was Antonio on the phone, he could just tell by the look on Lovino's face. And he did not want to ruin it by letting the older one know someone else was listening. "What's up?"

Feliciano hummed a tune to himself as he went over to clear off the stove. He wondered whether or not he should remind Lovino of their 'no personal calls at work' rule. Feliciano usually broke that rule, but it was Lovino who made it up in the first place. So it was hypocritical of him to be doing so!

Of course, telling him to follow the rules would be hypocritical of Feliciano. He thought about that for a few moments before deciding it was all rather stupid and none of it really mattered.

"What?"

Feliciano dropped a ladle.

"Why? You don't want to see me? Well, too bad, because that's what's happening!"

Lovino practically threw the phone at the receiver. Folding his arms across his chest Lovino seemed to try and melt into the wall. Fortunately Feliciano was there to keep him from doing so.

"Lovino~ what happened?" Feliciano grabbed a hold of the other, arms wrapped around his waist. Lovino began to try and push him off.

"Nothing! Get off!" he scowled, but Feliciano held firm.

"What's wrong? You and Antonio get in a fight? You shouldn't fight!"

"I do what I want!" Lovino protested, finally managing to extricate himself from Feliciano's grip. "Anyway, it was his fault, not mine!"

"What?" Feliciano blinked.

"What do you mean 'what'?"

Feliciano thought he could be excused. After all, it never really was Antonio's fault. The other man was almost the perfect boyfriend (almost, because he was not as perfect as Ludwig!) and it was usually Lovino's fault that anything wrong happened with them. Feliciano knew better than to believe his brother. Because nothing even happened between the two that was_ wrong_ per say. It was always that Lovino was picky and he tried to find something wrong with everything the Spaniard did.

But they had been together so long, there could be nothing really bad happening between them. Just the usual stuff Lovino tried to be mad about.

"What did he do?" Feliciano asked, wide eyes looking up at the other. Lovino cleared his throat and looked away.

"He... canceled our date."

"_What?_" Now that was a surprise! Antonio cancel a date? He never did anything like that! "But that's tonight! What could have come up before tonight?"

"Hell if I know," Lovino snorted. "_Merda_... I'll just clean up here. I know you were going somewhere or something..."

Lovino was more than irritated, more than upset. He was really hurt. He _never_ suggested that Feliciano let him do all the work. Feliciano stared at him with wonder for a few moments before coming up with an excellent idea.

"Ve, Lovino! Come with me! Ludwig and I are going to the party at Eduard's house! Come on... we'll have fun!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you if you're taking that freak of a boyfriend of yours," Lovino scowled. Feliciano grabbed a hold of his arm and began to drag him towards the door. "Che! Idiot! We aren't done cleaning up!"

As everyone knew by now, Feliciano did not often take no for an answer. Especially from his brother.


	7. Funny How Things Work Like That

**In Real Life, This Would Be Freaky**

**(With Elizaveta, It Is Awesome)**

_What... what is he doing here? Oh... please, could it be?_

"Hey," Elizaveta smiled, reaching for the key to the best room there was. "Favourite room!"

"Oh," Alfred blinked, giving a tentative smile. _He's so shy! It must be true! Yes, yes, yes, yes! _"Thanks, eh."

She did her best not to watch as he headed towards the stairs, looking at the key with a strange look on his face. Elizaveta went back to cleaning up the counter, pretending that she had not seen what she knew she saw and that Alfred would not turn around and suddenly know what was on her mind.

Alfred finally bagged Kiku. Or was planning on it. Either way, _something _was going down tonight. Elizaveta tried her best not to squeal.

They would be so cute together! Her silent pleas had been answered. And they were going to be _here._ Gods yes. Elizaveta felt as if her birthday and Christmas had come early. At the same time. With presents from everyone in town.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" asked her permanent tenant. He stood at the counter, looking at her with an amused smile. She leaped on to the counter and sat there, one leg hanging over on either side of the musician.

"Oh... nothing," she gave Roderich a wicked smile. "Heading up to Eduard's now?"

Her answer did not seem to satisfy him, but the Austrian was much too (what he would call) gentlemanly to push on the subject. "Yes. At least there is another person in this town who has good taste in music."

Elizaveta felt a little sorry for him. The classical music would only be going on for so long before someone else decided to put something else on. It was a good thing she could feign interest in one type of music for such a long time. Not that it was bad, it was just she preferred a bit of variety. But she could pretend otherwise. Anything to keep the travelling pianist here.

Hell, she had bought a piano to keep him here, she could keep up the act. Not that it was all an act. She liked what he played. Just... not as much as she let on. But she could continue on the little farce until she could make him settle down.

Here. With her.

So it was probably best he never know that she was inwardly cheering that Alfred was going to sleep with another man.

Or that the thought of him with Ludwig made her flush.

She was quite aware she had a problem. But, frankly, she did not care.

He left her with a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Still, that could make her heart flutter too.

Although she was certain she would have to leave soon so as to make certain he actually would arrive at Eduard's mansion.

He had been here for a year and still got just as lost as he was when he arrived. Which she was grateful for.

It had stranded him here in the first place.

* * *

_Notes:_

_You think a travelling musician is too much a road occupation for such a stiff like Roderich? It is and he knows it, which is another part of the reason why he has not left Hearth for quite a while. He likes staying in one place. He actually is quite an acclaimed pianist. Authorities are still trying to figure out where he disappeared to. He got lost on his first and last tour._

_And Elizaveta does own the inn. It gets used because she also sells alcohol and most people cannot even walk out the door. She appropriates the correct fee from their wallets herself. She had to get the piano somehow!_


	8. But It's Okay, He's Not The Only Failure

**Where Matthew Finally Gets It**

**(Not Really)**

Matthew was beginning to think there was something strange with this town. Even if the girl downstairs had been nice, she had given him a key to a room which very obviously was for two people. Let alone there was that man out there who thought he was someone else, even when he had turned around. There had been a few other people who had waved to him, as well as a few who had run away or began shouting insults.

And a guy who started yelling that he had invented Matthew's shoes. And some guy smoking a large Cuban cigar who seemed like he wanted to beat him up.

_Who the hell is Alfred, eh?_ His Canadian thoughts asked. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there was no one else in his head so his question went unanswered.

He scooted his suitcase next to the bed and took off his coat. Setting it down on the bed, he suddenly realized that it felt lighter than before. Quickly he picked it up, searching the pockets for what would not be there.

His wallet. Of course.

With a sad sigh Matthew put his coat back on and headed out. He knew where to start, where that brown haired man had accidentally bumped into him.

At least there seemed to be less people around. Matthew did not know how many times more he could stand to try and correct people that he was new here and did not know who they were.

"There you are! You just like to make my life a mess, don't you?"

Matthew did not have time to turn before his arm was grabbed by the man who was speaking.

"What?" he asked, eyes widening. It was rude, he knew, but his eyes immediately locked on the man's eyebrows.

Some of his father's words echoed in his head, but he could not quite recall what he was saying that was so important. That always seemed to happen when something important went on.

"We're going to be late," the man said in irritation, maybe with a hint of affection, brushing some of the snow off of of his sides. "You're the one who said we couldn't miss it! No, you come back and you don't even bother telling me that you've come home. Where on Earth did you get this outfit?"

"My clothes, eh?" Matthew could not stop himself from looking down at his red jacket and relatively autumn coloured outfit.

"Never mind, Alfred," the dirty blond huffed, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him down the street.

"I'm not Alfred!" Matthew protested and the other stopped to look at him.

"Once more," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I am _not_ calling you Number One or the One. We are not in the Matrix. And you are not the second in command on the Starship Enterprise. Now _come_."

"Eh?"

"Roderich, are you trying to find Eduard's place?" the other called out to another man who was wandering the streets. And Matthew continued to be dragged along mercilessly.

_What the – what?_

There really was something wrong with this town. Matthew almost protested again, but gave up. People did not seem to think he was _not_ Alfred. How could he look so much like someone? Did he act just like him too? It was time to find out who this Alfred was.

Before Matthew started to think he was Alfred and he had just lost it.


	9. Feliciano Likes This Chapter

**A Chapter Full Of German**

"Vhat do you say de chances are of my driving dat prissy man out of town if I cover him in chocolate?"

Ludwig could not even believe he was having this conversation. Then again, considering his brother, it was very believable. Believable, but not wanted.

"You're more likely to just get him angry with you," Ludwig informed the other. The Austrian did not look it, but Ludwig had already seen him get into a fight with Gilbert and knew the uptight gentleman could hold his own. "Let alone if you boder him, you'll only succeet in getting Elizaveta angry at you." And that girl could wield her kitchen appliances.

"Nah, she't dank me first, he't be covered in chocolate!" Gilbert waved off, only thinking about what he had said after he had said it. "Dammit."

"I dink you hafe your answer," Ludwig rolled his eyes.

"I just don't know vhat she sees in him!" Gilbert exclaimed. Ludwig readied himself for the words he had heard many times before. "I'm her friend, I'm just trying to keep her from making a huge mistake!"

"He's proper. Unlike you."

"Yeah, and you't be lonely if no one liked de proper and clean freak types."

"And you _are_ lonely."

"Low blow, bro."

Ludwig winced.

"Ant here he is!"

Ludwig glanced over as Gilbert got up and walked over to where the truck was being parked. One half of him hoped that Alfred (who always thought he knew what was good for people) did not get Gilbert's cigarettes and the other would be forced to quit like Ludwig kept trying to make him do. On the other hand, Gilbert would be a pain to live with if that happened and Ludwig was not completely certain whether the threat of second hand cancer was worse than dealing with Gilbert when he complained more than he normally did.

Ludwig's sanity was a bit more precious to him than his health. Because it often seemed more likely to desert him.

"You took your sveet time getting back, Al," Gilbert leaned against the side of the truck as the driver's door opened and the third blond stepped out.

"Antonio's special request took me a little longer to get," he shrugged with a grin towards Gilbert and a two fingered salute towards Ludwig. "You both waitin' for me? How sweet!"

"_He_ vas vaiting for you," Ludwig corrected before Alfred could get anything else out. Not that it affected the other much.

"Vhat did Antonio get?" Gilbert was asking, trying to get into the truck. Alfred stopped him with a slight yank to his sleeve.

"None o' your business," Alfred frowned. Funny how annoyed he could become at other people's business, but not allow other people to do the same. Ludwig would not deny he was curious, but not enough to try and pry, like his brother.

"Ach, come on," Gilbert pouted. Unlike when an Italian pouted though, no one reacted to it.

"No, and no," Alfred shook his head, walking over to the back door of the shop. "You'll have to buy your smokes, Gilbert. I'm not givin' them to you for free."

"Told you," Ludwig said the obvious. Gilbert pushed his hand back through his hair, messing up the already frazzled look his hair gave him.

"Let's go," Gilbert sighed. "Just 'cause I know dat your boyfriend vill drive eferyone crazy if you aren't dere."

"See you guys later!" Alfred waved as the two brother's began to walk away. Ludwig waved back. Gilbert stuck his tongue out at the other.

Oh, his _older _brother. So mature.

Ludwig was certain things had to only get better. He was not a party goer usually, but spending time with Feliciano was never–

And then he saw Lovino with him.

Ludwig questioned why God hated him so much.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Gilbert is not alone in wanting Roderich gone. Vash does not like the other man either. But that is because they used to know each other. Both Austrian and Switz have managed to keep that fact a secret. But Roderich has been charged for a few things since he has arrived (like trespassing). Luckily for him, no one really believes this (or just do not care, the poor man cannot stop from always being lost) and blame it on Gilbert. And for once it is not often the Prussian's fault._


	10. Which Is 180 Degrees Of OMG

**In Which One Lie Comes Half Circle**

"Hey!" Alfred smiled as Tino opened the door. The other seemed a bit ruffled up and breathless. Alfred's smile turned to a grin. He must have interrupted something going on in the back room~

"You made it," Tino said hesitantly, either thinking he was not obvious or not aware of how he looked. Alfred decided to keep a lid on it. Especially since teasing Tino was only worth it if Berwald was not around to get annoyed at him.

"I know I'm a bit late," Alfred shrugged, heading back to the truck with Tino following, "but..."

"You didn't get in a fight with Sadiq, did you?" Tino asked, concern evident in really everything about him. Alfred shook his head.

"Naw, he just asked where Yao and Muhammad were, nothing big." Yes, he had gotten in a fight with the man. But they made up and went out for drinks, making fun of Heracles the entire time. Alfred knew how to get on someone's good side if he wanted to.

"Y' s're?"

Alfred did his best not to jump five feet in the air, turning around smoothly to see Berwald.

_Y' usually means you... and the second word sounded a lot like sure..._

"Absolutely," he nodded enthusiastically, taking a box out of the back and occupying Berwald's arms with it. "You guys going to the party?"

"Ah, no," Tino shook his head. "We have all of this to put away..." he watched Berwald reenter the building. "We were going to, but I don't think Berwald wants to go anymore."

"What? Why?" Alfred blinked. After all, not going to a party was just really hard to comprehend.

"Oh, he's just been in a bad mood ever since this stranger came into the shop and started annoying him," Tino shrugged it off. "I'm fine with it, really."

"But you have to come!" Alfred could not believe that the other was just going to give in. After all, it was not every day that Eduard of all people threw a party. And that guy had money to spare! It just _had_ to be awesome!

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?" Alfred was ready for this. He was born to help other people get out of messes and into the real world. Like this party. He was not certain how he would convince Berwald for Tino, but he had some pretty good ideas that would end with the both of them at the–

"What happened between you and Arthur?"

Alfred blinked. That was not what he was expecting. "What happened between me and who? Arthur? Why do you ask?"

The real question would be what did not happen between him and his adopted 'mum'. The man was a complete nightmare to deal with. Not that he loved him any less. Ruffling up the Englishman's feathers was a sport almost better than football!

Almost. And the normal football. Not _soccer, _like everyone else in this town seemed to mess up with the names. _Football._

"Well," Tino shifted, seeming uncomfortable with the conversation. "I know you both don't get along all the time... but I can't think of anything you'd do that would make him want to throw you out."

"Throw me out?" Alfred questioned, wondering what exactly Tino was insinuating.

"From your house. I heard it from Feliks."

"What?" _Arthur! Oh, I know he was behind this!_ Messing around with the town and using other people against him was what the man did best. Except... this time Alfred was not certain what could have brought this on. He was just out of town, for God's sake! But he doubted that he was kicked out. Arthur could tell people that all he wanted, but if he thought he could get rid of Alfred like that...

Well, there was the party Alfred made him promise to go to. Arthur was very irritated when Alfred was bugging him about it. Really, the only reason he gave in was because Alfred had hid all of his Beatles CDs.

"I'm sorry Alfred," Tino tried to smile. Alfred waved it off and grinned.

"Don't worry! I'm pretty sure that Arthur's just messin' around again. It's just a threat or something. Not a big deal, I'll talk to him."

"Y' s're?"

Alfred succeed in not jumping again.

"Of course!" he shoved another box into Berwald's arms. "I grew up dealing with Arthur, guys. I know how to deal with him. Just..."

A particular parcel in his shirt pocket reminded him of its presence.

"If you see Antonio, tell him I need to see him at Eduard's house, understand?" he asked Tino. Tino nodded, if not a bit confused. Alfred did not want this misunderstanding between himself and Arthur to continue. It was just a party, no need to overreact!

Antonio would understand a little bit of a delay. Alfred was a man of his word. He would get that ring to him before the day was through, no problem.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Alfred did interrupt something, thank you very much._

_Berwald thinks everyone in this town is a bit slow. After all, everyone except for Tino and his brothers takes forever to respond to anything he says._

_And *gasp*! There is a clue as to what Francis did to get himself arrested. You could guess, I suppose, or you could wait around for me to tell you. Either way you will have to wait for the real answer for that and for his previous transgressions. But if you wish to amuse yourselves with guessing, go straight ahead! Maybe the answer is more obvious than I think it is. It is Francis after all._


	11. Not That We Blame Him

**Raivis Probably Started All Of The Rumours About Hearth**

He was ready to receive company. Despite the fact he had not been keen on doing this in the first place, he was actually looking forward to it now. At least, he could if he could just ignore Natalia and the ever constant knife in her hand. Eduard straightened his tie and pretended she was not there.

A party would be good. Sometimes he spent too much time at the city, he almost felt a bit out of the loop with what was going on in town. And it was a small enough town that in knowing everyone here and being distant would practically excommunicate him.

The phone rang. Natalia rose to her feet, but he waved her to sit back down as he answered his phone.

"Eduard?"

"Raivis? It's been so long!"

"Sorry about that, Peter and I have been busy."

"Is life by the sea accommodating, my brother?"

"Yes, thanks. Everything is much more..."

_Less Ivan, right Raivis?_

"...simple here. I like it like this."

"I am glad to hear it."

"I miss you though."

"I feel the same. Maybe I should take a vacation soon and come out to see you?"

"That sounds like a plan."

"How is your genealogy going?"

"Actually, that is what I called you about."

"You were successful in finding someone?"

"Not exactly. But I found that we had another brother."

"What?"

"An older brother. He goes by Toris Lorinaitis."

"Do you think you could track him down?"

"Apparently he just moved, so no."

"Toris..."

"I will wait a bit for the transfer to go through before trying and tracking down where he was moving to."

"Thank you for informing me, my brother."

"It's nothing. Thank me if I actually manage to find anyone."

"A name is a step in the right direction."

"Which matters less if that is the only step."

"For living in a place that you describe as 'simple', you are rather increased with your wit."

Laughter. "When I'm not fearing for my life... I find myself capable of many things Eduard."

"They're here," said Natalia.

Eduard looked towards Natalia and nodded.

"I'm sorry Raivis, something has come up. Can I call you back later?"

"Of course. Things have settled down a bit more here, so I'll be around."

"I'd love to hear about it. I will call you sometime tomorrow then?"

"I'll be waiting."

"Talk to you later then."

"Later!"

Click.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Brothers, yet not? The three Baltic born people were put up for adoption and raised separately. Do not ask why their parents could not keep them or just did not practice some abstinence. Eduard and Raivis discovered their relation when living in Hearth, but Raivis escaped soon after an accident involving Ivan, Natalia, and fire. Arthur felt sorry for him, because the fire was partly his fault, and gave him the number of the brother he thought Raivis would get along with._

_And they have gotten along well ever since. Can you believe Raivis and Peter would actually be some of the happiest ones in a story? It is because they do not live in Hearth. They warned you Matty, they really did._


	12. Matthew Gets An A

**The Art of Making Someone's Life More Difficult**

Apparently this Alfred was a party person. Matthew guessed this from the fact that everyone kept giving him these very strange looks as he stayed seated at the table next to the person who had dragged him here, watching the other sip at another glass of sherry.

Finally though, after what seemed a period of time much longer than it must have been, the other man stopped glowering at him. His face turned a bit contemplative as he tapped a finger against his glass.

"I didn't think you would catch on so quickly," he said with a bit of amusement.

"Eh... what?" Matthew swallowed.

"Look," said the Englishman. Someone said it earlier, but he had been unable to hear it. "I am getting sick of hearing you complaining about this. Either you tell him, or I'm doing it for you. Either way, no more complaining out of you."

"But..."

"I'm about to kill myself if I have to hear another love sick gripe out of you."

"Oh." This Alfred was in love. Matthew suddenly knew trying to figure out who this Alfred was would be a mistake. If his father had taught him anything, it was that love was minefield. Matthew never wanted to tread it because he doubted he would survive the explosion as well as the Frenchman.

"Have it your way, Alfred."

"Wait!" Matthew exclaimed as the other man walked across the room. The man did not stop and Matthew was not certain what he should do next. He had the feeling that he had made someone's life much more difficult.

_What am I supposed to do? What am I doing?_

"Oh, it's you."

Matthew turned to see a coat. There was a man wearing it, but he had not been expecting the height of the other man and it took him a moment to adjust his eyes upwards to the face of the person addressing him.

He looked Russian. Russian and not very happy to see him.

"Erm..." he tried to think of something to say, either to break out of his farce or something that would not make someone think he was absolutely insane. Thankfully, as Matthew came up with a completely blank, the other continued to talk.

"I notice you chickened out," he gestured across the room. Matthew squinted. He could see the back of the Englishman's head, but could not see who the man must have been talking to. Whoever it was that Alfred had a crush on, he assumed.

"Heh, heh..." _If this guy fell over he would flatten me,_ Matthew gulped, hoping that the flask the Russian was drinking from was the first drink he had had this evening. "Well... no one's perfect, eh?"

He was stared at. Matthew felt rather uncomfortable and hoped that the other would leave. "I never zought you vould say somezing like zat. You alright?"

"F-fine?" Matthew coughed. The other scowled.

"Of course," he rolled his eyes. "You just like making ozer people do vork for you."

"Hey," Matthew narrowed his eyes. "I don't see how any of this is your business."

In truth, it was neither of their businesses, but what could be done about it?

"In town like zis?" he snorted. "Vhere you stick your nose in everyzing? Nice try." He lifted the flask to his mouth and began to sip whatever alcohol that was likely contained. Like vodka.

Gods, he was being mistaken for a guy who appeared to be a complete _jerk_. Either that or everyone else in this town was the jerk and this Alfred was the most unfortunate person on the planet. Matthew was not certain which he would rather it be. Did he want to be mistaken for someone who no one liked, or would he rather everyone whom he had come across be impolite bastards?

"You don't have to be hypocritical about it, eh" Matthew exhaled, turning to look across the room again. The Russian stopped in mid-swallow, pulled the flask away from his mouth and stared at him for a few moments.

"I vhat?"

Matthew mentally hit his head on a mental table. "I mean... it's harder to take your advice seriously when you're doing the same thing you advise me against, right?"

The look on the Russian's face was absolutely priceless. Matthew looked away before he could be considered staring.

"Vhen did you become smart?"

"When the world became full of surprises," he smiled back at the other.

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Partly because Matthew felt as if his brain had exploded.

"'xcuse me," the other mumbled and walked off, leaving Matthew by himself.

_Damn it,_ Matthew physically hit his head against the real table. He should just _try_ to get someone to believe he was not Alfred. Before he screwed things up even more.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Things are going to get a bit less funny and a bit more serious as the newcomers mess up the natural order of things. Hope that does not seriously disappoint anyone. I hope to still be a bit funny, but I have always been a bit more of a drama writer and here it comes. After all, we need our dose of **big** problems so as to have some important things to set rights to before the end.  
_


	13. Not That He Would Accept That

**Kiku Likes Playing Hard To Get**

**(Someone Needs To Remind Him Life Is Not Like His Anime)**

He had gotten here early and spent a good long while beating Ludwig and Feliciano at Mario Kart. Surprisingly Lovino was not that bad at it. Kiku had been uncertain in being teamed up with him, but suddenly that was no longer an issue.

Still, his ears probably had to be cleansed because after every single thing that went wrong the Italian would curse. The only good thing was that it was rarely ever aimed at him. Still, needless to say, Kiku was quite happy when Lovino decided to move over to the dining room and grab whatever fruit he could get his hands on.

Which was when he saw Alfred, sitting at one of the tables. Just sitting there.

_Is he feeling well? I should go over. Oh no, what if the reason he has not come over to see me is because he does not want to see me? Have I done something wrong?_

And so Kiku worried himself into submission.

"Good evening, Kiku."

"こんばんわ, Arthur-san," Kiku turned his attention from the other blond he had been watching. "How are you?"

"Here," the other one sighed. Kiku sympathized. Not that the Japanese man did not want to be there, but he could appreciate the case of someone not wanting to be involved in a large social gathering. After all, he used to be that person.

Alfred had really pulled him out of that shell. He had not expected that in becoming friends with Arthur he would become closer friends with his son.

"It could be worse," Kiku speculated.

"Oh?"

"You could be Ivan here," Kiku said. Arthur winced, understanding. It was not a secret Natalia had 'convinced' Eduard to have this party just so she could try and sneak up on Ivan again. Hell, the only person who probably did not know was Vash. Which was unfortunate, because he could have saved Ivan the trouble. But it was fortunate on the other hand because Eduard could house some really good parties.

A bit of silence passed between them. Kiku wondered whether Arthur was trying to see if he could spot the Russian. It was strange how hidden someone so big could be. "I might as well get this over with," Arthur sighed.

"Excuse me?" Kiku asked, returning his attention back to the other.

"I need to tell you about Alfred."

"I already know." Kiku would not usually assume he knew what someone was going to say, but the annoyed tone in Arthur's voice really could only leave one option.

"You... what?"

"I assume we are talking about his crush?"

"You know!" Arthur almost seemed to shout it, but lowered his voice after the first syllable. For which Kiku was grateful. He rather liked the sound of the piano he could hear.

"Yes, it is easy to spot, isn't it?" Kiku questioned. Arthur pushed some of his hair back, seeming to fight back a groan.

"Tell him you know! Reject him, or accept him, or something!"

Kiku's eyes widened slightly. "Why would I do that?"

Arthur stared at him. "Why wouldn't you?"

"If this is a challenge for him, he needs to gather his courage. I can wait."

"This isn't one of your video games, Kiku!" Arthur spat. It seemed like he had had a little bit to drink, so Kiku tried not to hold it against him. "I cannot – oh, you both are just – ugh!"

"Good bye," Kiku said to the retreating back of the Englishman. He was given a short wave in response. Kiku returned his gaze towards Alfred.

_He would like it better like this, right?

* * *

_

_Notes:_

_The rest of us, who are sane, probably agree with Arthur. Life is not a video game. Unfortunately, Kiku and Alfred bonded over electronics and even though that is not all they do it certainly plays a part on how they get along. You know how that is. There is a bit of everyone that thinks of someone only in a certain situation if that situation is the one you see them in the most, whether or not you know what else they do._


	14. He Would Be Weird

**Ivan Would Not Be Ivan Without The Threats**

He was not shy. Not at all. Just because it had taken him a while to get into the rest of the game (what his cousin liked to say) did not mean he was not good with people. It was just with certain people it took him a lot to get going.

Especially when he was trying not to make a fool out of himself. _Especially_ in front of _her_.

"And voila! Gone!" Angus produced his hands, free of the glass he had previously had. Katyusha's eyes were glued to them. Angus was not always modest, not that he made a habit of bragging about everything he did, but he had no idea how he could make his hands so fascinating and thanked whoever was in charge of the world that they were so to her.

"Oh! How did you... no, don't tell me!" She bit her bottom lip, trying to figure out his trick herself. Angus tried to keep his grin in check. "Do it again!"

"If ya wish, m'gal," he reached for another one. Reached and, with all of his bad luck, saw her brother from over Katyusha's head.

_Ah, no. No, no, no._

"How are you, sis?" Ivan's arm came and wrapped around Katyusha's shoulders. She did not seem to notice Angus' distress. Which would be fine to him – Angus never wanted to concern her – but it meant that he had to suffer under the glare of the biggest man in town.

"Angus was doing magic," she said happily.

Probably one of the worser things she could have said. Angus felt himself trying to shrink.

"Really?" Ivan asked, facial expression not changing one bit as he continued to stare at him. "Maybe you should show me."

"Er... certainly," Angus coughed. Ivan reached over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Over here, shall ve?"

Katyusha looked confused as Ivan lead Angus away. Angus gave her a smile and a wave, so she would not worry. Even if that was all what he was doing. Hell, if it was anyone else...

He was the one people called when there was an unknown dog claiming their backyard as its territory, when there was a spider they did not recognize spinning its web above their front door. There was one time Angus had to remove a large spider's nest from a corner of Ivan's house because the Russian would not go anywhere near there once he realized it was there.

Angus definitely was not often scared. But who did Ivan not scare? Other than spiders, of course.

Alfred. That was not saying much. Alfred did not seem to have any survivor's instincts. The man did have some skill, but Angus was rather more impressed with his display of luck than anything. Ivan scared _Berwald_ when he tried. Of course, to be fair, Berwald could scare Ivan so things were rather easy between the two of them. Just as long as he stayed away from Tino.

Was that an abusive relationship? Because as time kept going Berwald would single out who could be around the other. Angus still did not think so. The people that Berwald did not let Tino near counted those who had (whether by accident or on purpose) threatened or hit on the Finn in some way. And other than that, Tino seemed in complete control of that relationship.

Despite the fact Angus had managed to think off the subject of Ivan, it did not stop the fact he was still physically under the other's grip.

"You don't get near her, understand?" Ivan growled into his ear. "Remember vhat I said..."

"Wha' if she, uh, nears me?" Angus tried.

"Don't try it." The grip on his shoulder tightened, then let go. Angus watched with a mixture of disappointment, fear, and irritation as he went back over to his sister.

"He won't beat the crap out of you," Arthur reminded him, sipping from who knew what number of glass he was on. The fact he was not cursing anyone and was still quiet meant he was probably still on the first five or something. Angus sighed and sat next to him. "He would be too afraid of making Kat cry."

"You 'ave Alfred defendin' yer house," Angus retorted, as if that explained why Arthur did not have to worry about being beaten up by the Russian. Arthur did have a point though. Ivan would never do anything which might make Katyusha cry.

"This is so stupid," Arthur snorted into his cup. Angus did not know what Arthur was talking about, but he was inclined to agree. They were not always on the best terms, but Arthur was easier for him to deal with drunk. So he reached for the bottle that Arthur was pouring out of and drank from that.

He did not know when he became more drunk than his cousin, but the thought made him laugh out loud. Arthur kept him steady. When he became drunk it was simply his accent becoming something he had to force to sound natural.

"Why cannae love b' easy, 'r somethin'?" he asked. Arthur laughed bitterly.

"You think I would know anything about that?" he rolled his eyes. "The gall of anyone who thinks it should be easy! Damned marriage isn't even sacred..."

Through the haze Angus realized the mistake he had made. He did not know much about Arthur's ex, but he had heard plenty from Roy and Brian about it.

"Things'll 'ork ou'," he attempted, staring at the glass. Arthur grabbed it from his hands and refilled his cup.

"Whatever," the Englishman snorted. "The next time I see him will just be too soon."

* * *

_Notes:_

_Angus = Australia. Make sense?_

_Cousin = Arthur. The eyebrows are genetic._

_Roy = Scotland. Brian = Ireland. One of them is Arthur's real brother, the other one had been adopted. For the life of their family, none of them can remember which one was which._

_Sorry. Could not help but make this pairing come up again. Sometime I will write something about each of these characters that is elaborate and not romantic. I owe it to both Australia and Ukraine to do so._


	15. The First Time

**Where He Falls Apart**

This was a stupid party. Stupid and he had no idea at all why in hell he had accepted to come. If one could call what he did accepting. Feliciano just dragged him along after all, there was no 'okay, I'll come keep your hat on' or anything on his part. He had just eventually given up, which Feliciano knew was acceptance in Lovino's book. He could keep complaining and struggling for hours, but... he had _decided_ not to! That is right, he had decided. He had not given in, he had decided that he might as well do something with his now free evening.

No thanks to Antonio he now had a free evening. Why had the other hesitated in telling him what was going on? Lovino could tell when someone was trying to fashion up an excuse. He heard Ludwig do so all the time to his brother, not that Feliciano believed him.

All of this made him a bit more irritable than normal. Especially having to play this stupid game his brother asked him to join and being paired up with his brother's friend. Lovino finally, after the fifth time they had creamed both Ludwig and Feliciano, decided that it could have been worse. He could have been teamed up with Ludwig. Not that Feliciano could survive for long without the German. It was really disgusting.

"Good game," Kiku said to him afterward. Lovino tried to scoff, but he was feeling a bit better at this point. Beating his brother at things tended to do that. Nice to know that he was not so horrible that he would make Kiku loose at a video game–

He meant it was nice to know that Kiku had not made _him_ loose. Yeah.

"Not bad," he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it.

"Another one? We'll beat you guys this time!" Feliciano declared. Ludwig was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No." Lovino did not need to prove again that he could cream them, he was hungry. And free food! He supposed there was another good reason to come. After all, he insisted on paying half the bill whenever Antonio took them out. Now he did not have to pay anything. Stupid Antonio.

So he slid into the kitchen to grab food at the source instead of having to shove through the crowd around the table where the food had been set out.

It was a bit quieter in there, only a few other people who had had the same idea as him. It was probably because of that he suddenly heard Antonio's voice.

_He's here._

"Have you seen..."

_Why?_

"I need to talk to him."

_To... meet someone else?_

Lovino snapped.

"Need to talk to _who?_" he shouted, stomping out of the kitchen. Oh, how he caught the other by surprise. Antonio nearly fell over wheeling around and stood there for a few moments staring at him. "No, I don't want to hear it!"

"Lovino!" he smiled, walking over. "I didn't know you'd be here–"

"Which is why you showed up, right?" Lovino spat. Antonio's smile was gone.

"What? Of course not Lovi, I just needed to–"

"Well you can just keep it to yourself, Antonio! Because we're over!"

Lovino felt as if he had just hit Antonio. Or himself. Or both. He got mad at him often, he knew that. But never to... never. What had he just said?

"No, wait! Lovino, you don't understand–"

That is why he said it. Because he '_didn't understand_'.

"Oh no, don't bother! I get it! Come here, Lovino won't show up! He would never come to something his brother was going to! He doesn't like parties! He doesn't have something else to do since his boyfriend just dropped him!"

"Lovino–"

"I'll come by to get my stuff. Letting myself in with _my_ key. So don't bother to be there!"

He ran off before Antonio could say anything else. Before he could think about it more.

Before he gave up and just let Antonio win.

As much as he would rather Antonio win. Because this hurt too much.

* * *

_Notes:_

_They have a weird relationship. It took Antonio a very long time to convince Lovino to go out with him. Usually Lovino calls for a 'break' by saying, "Leave me alone!" Not that Antonio ever really listens to Lovino. But he has never actually broken up with the other. Sad, but true, fact._


	16. He Was So Close!

**And He Misses By _That_ Much**

Considering how this entire party came into existence, Eduard had to admit he was enjoying himself. Nothing had been ruined and the only ones who seemed to be completely drunk were Brian and Roy, so nothing other than the normal. There would have been four of them, except that Arthur seemed to be holding back himself. And Erin never left the inn, so the alcohol had not been completely drained out yet.

"Oh my god, this party... totally spectacular... Eduard," came Feliks' voice. Eduard did his best not to wince. Oh, he might have had the ability to deal with anyone in town, but it did not mean he wanted to. Not by a long shot.

Thankfully the room he was currently in was rather loud and Feliks' voice was slightly drowned out in all of the other sounds.

"Thank you," he turned towards Feliks, somewhat surprised to see another man he did not recognize being dragged around by the blond. Small town meant embarrassment if one forgot someone else's name. But if someone attracted someone like Feliks towards them it was even worse if one did not know them.

"Nice..." the rest of the brunette's words were covered and Eduard nodded in response. He knew how to react in most of these situations and he could guess from the lip movements of the other it was 'nice place'. He was not becoming faster on the Berwaldian translation for nothing!

"I don't believe we've met? Eduard Von Bock," Eduard extended a hand.

"This is..." Feliks introduced, as the other man took and shook Eduard's offered hand. But he missed the name. That was no matter. It was rather loud in here, no thanks to Yong Soo and Gilbert. The most surprising thing was that Alfred had not joined them. He would ask for the name later, no need in making things awkward.

"Nice to meet you." Eduard hoped he could be heard above the–

Crash. The three of them turned their heads in the direction where most of the noise had gone to. Eduard felt something drop into his stomache. Probably his tongue or something. If they had broken something...

He was suddenly reminded why he had not wanted the entire town in his house.

"Excuse me," he nodded towards the other two as he rushed into the other room. He was not very surprised to see Yong Soo there. He was a bit more perturbed to see Gupta. "What..." he quickly looked around to see what damage could have been done, but was shown nothing. As much as he doubted it could have been cleared up so quickly, Yong Soo was involved. He tended to defy the laws of reality like that. "What happened in here?" he asked calmly. No need in becoming angry. It could have been an accident.

Then again, Yong Soo was involved.

"I... uh, ran into him. I mean he ran into me!" Yong Soo accused, pointing at the Egyptian. Gupta glowered at Yong Soo, but said nothing. Of course, that did not mean much. Gupta never really said anything. Unless it was important. And Eduard was willing to bet Gupta did not find it important to defend himself against Yong Soo's accusations because it was hard for anyone to take Yong Soo seriously.

Except when he had helped his brother with that science experiment.

Eduard looked past Yong Soo for a second and saw the damage. The frame for the art piece he had been given was broken. And the painting...

"Try again," Eduard suggested to Yong Soo. Gupta's eyes seemed to follow Eduard's example and now he was no longer looking as stubborn. Rather a bit more of disbelief.

As most people would agree, art was priceless. But someone was going to have to try and pay for this one.

* * *

_Notes:_

_The last Celtic brother, the Welsh Erin. The man has never been seen sober. Not even by any of his brothers. He spends most of his time passed out at Elizaveta's inn. She often has to drag him up into a room, but none of the other patrons really care if he is passed out at the bar anymore. In fact, it is a bit weird when he is not. Roy, Brian, and Arthur somehow find themselves paying his bar tab._

_Yes, Berwaldian translation. It is a language, after all. Not many people speak it._

_Yong Soo once _almost _blew up Hearth. Almost. There was a brief period of time that he was interested in chemistry. Brief, because no one will let him do anything with it now._

_Gupta owns the museum in the city closest to Hearth. Why he just does not move to the city and away from Hearth is beyond anyone. Heracles did. People like going on museum tours with him, he does not rush them through anything._


	17. It Tends To Happen Alot

**As Ivan Realizes Something Is Wrong, He Fails To Do Anything About It**

Ivan did not know why he went back. Leaving the first time... 'excuse me' was the perfect excuse to leave and _not_ come back. Ivan never chose to spend time with Alfred. Usually Alfred would be the one bothering him, the one coming over to him to annoy him more and then somehow getting Vash to shout at him to stop bothering Ivan and at Ivan to not smash Alfred's face against the pavement.

It was unfortunate when the law realized the tell tale signs of his loss of temper, but Ivan supposed it could not be helped.

Still, it all came around to the fact that Ivan hated Alfred and never would he in his right mind go back to a conversation with the man. Unless the other was not in his right mind. That was not the case, no, but Ivan did know that usually Alfred's arguments usually did not make sense. And when they did they only proceeded to piss him off.

But 'when the world became full of surprises'? Ivan was impressed, as that remark did not really make him feel like punching Alfred in the face as much as wonder how he came up with a retort that was not asinine.

He was also a bit freaked out. Alfred never impressed him. Well, Alfred did impress him. He impressed him with his stupidity.

Alfred was certainly never hesitant, nor intelligent. Or he was, because otherwise Ivan would not have had a ten minute conversation with him about the weather which was not lame (as talking about the weather tended to be with anyone else) or annoying (as all conversations with Alfred tended to be).

"I didn't know you liked snow so much," he said to the shorter one.

"I love snow!"

Alfred was much more relaxed then he had been when they first began talking. Which had been strange in itself, Alfred being tense, as nothing ever seemed to phase the man except for a few choice words from either himself, Arthur, or Kiku. He never was calm either, there was too much energy in the young man's system for him to do so.

Which all added up to the fact that something was terribly wrong. And he was going to do something about it.

There were two things wrong with that.

One – the fact that this was working perfectly to keep Natalia at bay. He had seen her try to come up several times, but it was a well known fact that Natalia was scared of Alfred. Alfred and Kiku apparently accidentally did something (which neither would speak of) and now she would not near either of them. Ivan wished he could ream someone out for information, but no one else knew and he had failed getting it out of Alfred.

But usually, this would not affect him much. He was not friends with Kiku and he hated being around Alfred. But now, right now, it was very easy to use Alfred as Natalia repellent.

Which brought him to the second thing.

Two – Alfred was actually pleasant. And who would want to change someone from being nice to being annoying again? No matter how creepy it was.

Actually, because it was creepy was why Ivan was considering it.

Somehow they had gotten on to the conversation of hockey. Ivan had not known Alfred liked ice hockey.

"The left wing would have gotten the puck if they had not just been shorthanded, eh."

"Bad call on coach's part to switch out Marx. Just as important to game as players, da?"

Interesting, real, conversation with Alfred. If Ivan did not look at him, he could almost pretend it was not Alfred. Voice was different or something.

_Hell, entire man is different._

"Are you drunk?" he asked, sipping from his flask of vodka. Alfred looked surprised to be asked such a question.

"No," he responded. Ivan came up with his explanation.

Drinking ran in the family, after all. Could it be the case that Alfred was always drunk and when he was not then he was manageable?

The opposite of Arthur, then. Even if Arthur would never let Alfred go around constantly drunk...

-_Alfred used confusion!_

_Ivan is confused!-_

Which is when he looked up and saw someone he never thought he would see again.

"'xcuse me," he got up and left the confused American to follow after Toris who had just run out of the house.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Ah, Matthew gave up trying to convince people of his 'non-Alfredness' for a less awkward conversation. In his defense, there are people drinking here. He probably wants to try convincing someone who is not either tipsy or sloshed of his identity._

_I know next to nothing about hockey. So sorry for people who know what the game is like and if my small bit on it makes no sense._

_Yes, Pokemon reference at the end there. Shut up, I like those games._

_Arthur, Roy, Brian, and Erin all drink. They drink like crazy. Any more drinking and their livers would probably flood. All four of them are likely to die of an alcohol related disease. Or by drowning in alcohol after passing out after drinking too much. Ivan is right, the family has a drinking problem. The problem is that everyone knows Alfred is adopted. Or something. So Alfred has genetics going for him, if not his environment. Thank God for small mercies._

_I would go in about Toris and Ivan, but that is covered next chapter! Stay tuned._


	18. Did He Ever Know To Tread Carefully?

**Where He Has Fallen Apart**

Trying to convince Feliks that going to a party was not something he wanted to do the first day he was here was a loosing argument before it had begun. After all, it was a party. Which meant people and food and things. Feliks was not about to miss hearing some of the few things in a small town he had not heard yet. Preferably extraction by alcohol.

Toris knew this well. Feliks used this foolproof plan on him all the time.

So he gave in, knowing full well that Feliks would not let him just stay at his place while the Polish man went on his own.

"Go by myself? Are you kidding me? That is, like, totally uncool."

Which is how Toris found himself at some rich man's house being dragged around person to person by Feliks and being introduced to people he could not quite hear because of a few of their noise levels.

He was tired after being introduced to their host and was sort of thankful that Feliks moved over to stop some other blond (which he might have called Ludwig, but Toris was not quite sure) and gab on at him. Toris was certain Feliks might freak out for a few minutes if he stepped outside, but was certain Feliks would find him sooner or later.

Going outside had been a good idea, but never so good as when he saw the man he had hoped never to see again.

_Ivan... oh God, Ivan._

He ran out of there as quickly as he could. He could run around town until he finally found Feliks' house for all he cared. Just as long as he could get away. Just as long as Ivan did not–

"Toris! Vait!"

And Toris did as Ivan commanded. Like he always did.

He heard Ivan come to a halt behind him. As much as he did not want to face him, Ivan was a bit more dangerous when one could not see him. So Toris steeled himself and turned around.

"Toris," Ivan seemed to try a smile.

"I have a gun." Why he had not thought of it earlier was beyond him. He reached for his belt. Ivan put up both of his hands.

"No! Calm down, Toris. Really, I just vant talk. I promise. I stay over here."

Toris still brought out the gun. Because he knew that despite Ivan's size the man was fast. But... as always, Ivan sounded regretful. And Toris had been well trained in forgiving him. Despite his logic telling him to get out of there, he stood there still. After all, he did have a gun. He could hear Ivan out.

"Well?" he questioned, swallowing.

"Could you put gun down?" Ivan questioned meekly. Toris lowered it slightly.

"It's... b-been a while," Toris stuttered, trying to think of what Ivan would possibly want to talk about. Had it been a long time? It was hard to think about it. He still had scars.

"I got help." Toris started, bringing the shaking gun up a bit more. Those were not the words he expected to hear from the other. "Like you vanted of me! Toris, I'm so sorry."

"Being sorry never stopped you before," Toris retorted. Maybe it was a bit more harsh than he had meant to. Toris was not certain what he was trying to do here.

"I vas sick then. You knew zat. I didn't." Ivan wrung his hands together, staring down at the ground. "But now I'm taking these pills... I know vhat I'm doing. I know vhat I did."

Toris' hands slipped and the gun hit the ground. Part of his mind said that he could grab it before Ivan got to him, but he effectively and unconsciously covered up those thoughts.

"I didn't know you lived here."

"Came here from Russia," Ivan admitted. "Vanted to get out of here, zough. But after college... zis place not as bad as I zought."

Toris remembered college well. "I just moved in." Why did he tell him? Why did he say anything? Toris was not certain. Whether it was from years of first trusting Ivan and then learning to tell him everything or because he really wanted to believe that the other was better now... maybe a mixture of both. He would be insane himself to think there was only one reason for any action.

"Really?" Ivan looked back up at him. Toris looked away, nodding as he did so. "Please don't look like zat, Toris. I vill stay avay from you, if zat's vhat you vant."

"It's a small town," Toris laughed very quietly, arms crossing in front of him as he clutched his shoulders in his hands. "You couldn't even if you tried Ivan."

"Zis isn't place people usually come for anyzing," Ivan sounded as if he were frowning.

"My boyfriend lives here."

Ivan stayed quiet and Toris felt a blinding panic course through him. He finally looked up to meet Ivan's eyes.

Ivan was smiling. And it was not one of those smiles that Toris had come to dread. Toris did not know how to react. It had been so long since he had seen Ivan smile like that. His grasp on himself loosened slightly.

"Good for you," Ivan said, and Toris almost believed him. Almost. He still was not certain. Ivan stretched his hand forwards, slowly. Toris managed not to flinch and back away.

"Can ve try being friends again, da?" Ivan asked hopefully.

–"_i just vant you happy," ivan looks surprised and toris grabs another lamp to throw–_

He had given him so many chances when he knew there was no point. Why not when there was?

"Friends."

"Da."

Toris took Ivan's hand and shook it.

Maybe he was more tired than he thought, because his heart finally stopped pounding so hard in his chest.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Hm. Wonder if Toris will ever have to explain to Feliks why he called him his boyfriend._


	19. He Didn't Really Want To Win At This

**If Anyone Has The Right To Anger...**

He could not react at first. He had prepared for this night. This night was supposed to be so memorable. This night was supposed to be happy dammit!

It took a lot to anger Antonio. But he had just hit his limit. If Alfred had just _given_ him the ring none of this would be an issue. If he had just _told_ him he had not had it then Antonio could have made something of the night and forgiven the other. But no, Alfred pretended he had no idea about it. Then he had to hear from Tino that Alfred _did_ have the ring and he was to meet him here?

_He better be here. He better be here and have the ring and I have to figure out a way to make Lovino understand... Ah, por favor..._

Maybe he would have been able to keep himself civil. Antonio was not planning on trying to make Alfred angry at him (no matter how much right he had to his own anger at the American). He could have done his best to talk this through if it were not for the fact Alfred looked in his direction, turned and walked away.

And walked to _Kiku_. The man's own crush. Alfred knew exactly why he wanted the ring. Alfred _knew_. But would rather hit on another man? But would...

Antonio felt like killing the man. Killing him outright. His old friend Francis would call it a crime of passion and excuse him. Vash would not have the same sentiments, there was not enough French in the Switz's blood.

Fortunately for himself then he managed to calm him down enough so he did not just take a knife from the table and run the man through so he could loot his body for the ring he _knew_ Alfred had. No, he managed to make himself calm. Anyway, best interrupt the conversation before it really started. Just so he could get the ring and then find Lovino. That was all he wanted, after all.

"Alfred?"

Kiku looked up towards him, then at Alfred. Alfred did not react as quickly to his own name. Only after Kiku looked up at him did he seem to realize Antonio had spoken.

"Erm... yes?"

Antonio cleared his throat. "The ring, if you would not mind. I'm in a lot of trouble as it is without it."

Alfred almost looked frightened suddenly. "I... eh..." he swallowed. "Well..."

"You asked me to meet you here!" Antonio finally exploded. "You have to have the ring!"

"Calm down, Antonio-san," Kiku suggested. Antonio clenched his fists in an attempt to do so, but it did not seem to work.

"Where is it?" he asked again, stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Arthur.

"Why are you yelling at him?" Arthur questioned. He looked far from open to hearing any of Antonio's reasons. Antonio did not remotely care at this point.

"He asked me to meet him here so he could give me something very important he got for me from the city!" Antonio informed him.

"Which Alfred would most likely give you, if he were here," said Alfred.

All three of them stared at him.

"You drank, didn't you," Arthur sighed. "Com'on then, we're going home."

"But..." Antonio gaped. Kiku (surprisingly) jumped to Antonio's defense.

"Do you have the ring on you, Alfred?" he questioned.

Alfred shook his head vigorously. "No! You don't understand, I–"

"Good enough for me," Arthur snorted, grabbing Alfred by the shoulder.

"Good enough for you!" Antonio exclaimed, absolutely appalled, horrified, hurt, angered and many other words. He could not even sort out his emotions, because everything seemed far too unbelievable. Even his anger had been stopped by pure shock. "Lovino just broke up with me because I couldn't explain to him why Alfred would not just give me my parcel or tell me why he had not gotten it!"

"Wha?" Alfred questioned.

"I'm sorry," Kiku said sincerely.

"It'll probably last for a day," Arthur rolled his eyes, dragging Alfred away.

"But Arthur–" Kiku started, but Arthur merely frowned back at them.

"I can tell when Alfred's downed one too many drinks," Arthur retorted.

"But I'm not Alfred!" Alfred squeaked as he was pulled out of the the room. Leaving Antonio there to wonder what the hell had just happened.

"I will try and talk to him," Kiku suggested. It took Antonio a few moments to register the offer. He looked down at the Japanese man with a tired smile.

"Would you? I just... I just want to know the truth. I could accept if he just could not get it, if he just told me."

Kiku nodded and headed out after the two. Antonio dropped his head into his hands and tried not to scream.

Who cared about the ring now? He just had to contact Lovino and explain it to him. Explain and hoped the other would be calmed down enough to accept it.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Antonio versus Matthew? I have made up a _very _screwy scenario, if I do say so myself. It was very hard to write an angry Antonio. It was a bit hard to comprehend at first. I hope I did not screw it up too badly._

_There are too many names that start with A. It is driving me insane._

_And yes, a slightly drunken Alfred acts like a confused Matthew. Arthur knows his son, all right._

_I am off on my short trip, but I assure you I will update within the week.  
_


	20. Like, Totally

**Oh. My. God. Toris!**

Ludwig was simply no fun. Feliks could not even get him to say 'leafe me alone' in that silly accent of his. However Ludwig became experienced in getting away from him was very tricky. Not that Feliks was not likely to give him credit. Ludwig seemed to know what he was up to and got out of the situation quickly. Yes, the man was not completely dense.

But Feliks had really just wanted to ask where Feliciano had gone off to, because he wanted to introduce his friend to Toris. Unfortunately, the Italian was gone. So was his brother, of whom was going to be Feliks' last option to ask where to find Feliciano.

So was Toris. Feliks scowled at the space next to him which was supposed to be occupied by the man. And then he stopped. After all, frowning would cause such horrible wrinkles later on in life and Feliks did not think he would be able to live with himself the moment he gained any! Oh, what if that single scowl did it! Feliks quickly managed to find a reflective surface to check his face. Nope, still flawless. Feliks let out a sigh of relief.

Which brought his mind back to the fact he had lost Toris. And considering this town, the man was probably fearing for his life. Well Feliks was not going to let that happen! The man was staying here, whether he wanted to or not, so he was not going to have the excuse that some of the residents scared him.

Because that would be, like, totally not cool.

"Hey, Alfred," Feliks called, heading towards the door Alfred was entering. Funny, Feliks thought he had just seen him over with Kiku. Which is why he had not decided to ask about what had happened with Arthur. No one should get between those two. Feliks had a firm belief the sexual tension would kill someone. Feliks had no wishes to die so young. And pretty, no one could forget pretty! "Have you seen Toris?"

"Have I seen someone named Toris?" Alfred blinked, seeming to think about it. "Um... no. Have you seen Antonio?"

"Yeah, like, over there, I think," Feliks waved towards the door to the dining room.

"Thanks!" Alfred flashed him a smile and a thumbs up and walked past him towards the dining room. Feliks frowned and looked out the door.

_If he's gone outside, I'm, like, gonna have to handcuff him to my wrist. Honestly._

He was pretty certain he could find one during his many raids of Ludwig's house. Or just ask Feliciano. Whichever way that would fit into his schedule.

"Toris!" he called outside, glancing regretfully back into the house. "Toris!" Seeing someone sitting on the knee high stone garden fence Feliks made his way over. "Hey! Have you, like, seen T... Toris! Why are you out here? Oh my God, it's freezing!"

Toris glanced up and over at him. With that face which told Feliks something had just been going down. "Hey Feliks."

"What's up? What are you – oh my God what are you doing with a gun?"

Toris gave him a wry smile. "You know why I have it Feliks. My holster just has a break in it, so it pressed into my side. It was uncomfortable. Guess I'll have to get another one, right?"

"Totally. That sounds totally painful." Feliks brushed off the stones and sat down next to him. "I wanted to, like, introduce you to one of my friends, but I can't seem to find him. We'll totally have to go to his restaurant tomorrow then. That place is absolutely crazy! But still cool."

Toris stared at him for a few moments before smiling. That was Toris for you, a little slow on reactions. Feliks did not get how someone so intelligent and cute could be so down right stupid sometimes. Or horrible at socializing. Feliks was totally going to change that now that Toris was going to live with him!

"It's late," Toris mentioned, but before the other could get anything else out Feliks shook his head immediately to keep him from finishing that thought.

"Oh no you don't. We aren't done here yet!" Feliks stood back up and pulled at Toris' arm. "There's, like, a bunch more people you haven't met yet!"

He managed to pull Toris to his feet. "But... my gun. I don't have a safe place to put it."

Feliks opened his mouth to suggest his handbag when he saw that look on Toris' face again. Something had happened and he had missed it.

_And he isn't telling me..._

"Oh, well, fine," Feliks sighed, letting Toris go and crossing his arms over his chest. "But you, like, totally owe me, got it?"

A winiak and some chocolate bars, if Feliks had his way.

Toris nodded. "Sure."

"Don't 'sure' me! Of course you are!" Feliks huffed, about to walk down the walkway. "I should tell Eduard we are, like, leaving." He thought about it. "Or not. He probably won't notice. Things are _sooo_ messed up in there. Come on then!"

Feliks was pretty certain Toris needed the winiak more. After he put the gun down, of course.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Ludwig once set Feliks house on fire. He denied it, however, and no one else would listen to Feliks' claim. So Feliks had to pay for the damages himself. Needless to say Feliks loves to bother Ludwig whenever he can now for revenge._

_In Ludwig's defense, it had to do with Raivis, Ivan, and Natalia and being the wrong place at the wrong time with Gilbert. But it was Feliks' house which payed the price. And Feliks, for that matter._

_Points for guessing what the handcuffs are about! Or... not. Please do not. I think we all know. Sort of the same thing as Italy told the Allies when he and Germany were captured. Well, I guess everyone has their kinks. Ludwig's just sort of creep me out. Then again, so do Elizaveta's. Actually, most of these characters. I will shut up now._

_Winiak is a Polish brandy._

_And Feliks is the only man who I can have so many commas in a sentence close together and it not be a list. Like, wow._


	21. Or: More People Should Listen To Gilbert

**When You're Drunk, You See Double**

**(Or: Matthew and Alfred _Just_ Miss Each Other)**

"Dis is a g_rrrr_eat party," Gilbert slurred to Eduard.

Well, it was great if one ignored the fact Elizaveta slapped him once. Or twice. He might have deserved that second one, he had to admit.

Eduard did not seem too happy about it. Of course, Gilbert had not thought Eduard would be so in the first place, considering he was practically threatened to do so by Natalia. Really, the man needed to learn that the only person Natalia actually took anything out on was Ivan. The rest was just threats. And it seemed no matter how many times Vash managed to take her knives away from her she would get new ones.

But still. She never _used_ them. Gilbert snorted into his drink.

"I'm certain I did not buy this much alcohol," Eduard pinched the bridge of his nose.

"People brought their own, I believe," Roderich informed Eduard. "And considering such, it is going rather well. But what have you arranged for that painting?"

Gilbert stopped listening to the conversation because he had a sixth sense about when something was about to get boring.

And it was about to get boring. Stupid Roderich.

Katyusha was talking to Natalia. Natalia looked very sullen for some reason. Well, not _some_ reason. For the reason that she was not terrorizing Ivan probably. Speaking of which, Gilbert did not see Ivan from where he was sitting. In the living room, with a perfect view of the front hall and a part of the dining room.

And there went Arthur and Alfred out the side door in the dining room. Arthur pulling Alfred – Gilbert wondered what the other could have possibly done. He would go and ask, but knowing Arthur... well, Gilbert could find out later.

He took another sip of his beer and tried to focus his eyes.

There was his brother trying to talk to Kiku, but Kiku seemed too intent on something else and did not seem to want to stop to talk to him.

Funny, where was Feliciano? He was usually all over Ludwig.

Elizaveta was now talking to Roy and Brian. Or Roy and Brian were talking to her. No, Gilbert was certain it was the former. She was probably trying to get this weeks pay out of them for however much Erin had drunk this week.

And there was Alfred talking to Feliks, and Feliks leaving the house–

Wait a second.

Gilbert stared towards the side door he could just see in the next room and then back towards the front door. Alfred was going towards the dining room. He could see that. But Alfred was just leaving with Arthur out the side door, wasn't he? Gilbert was pretty certain about this. Not pretty certain, completely certain.

Either he had drunk too much, or he had not drunk nearly enough.

_Bod can be solfed vid more drinking..._

"You see dat?" he pulled at Roderich's sleeve. "Hey. Hey. _Heeeeey._ You see dat?"

He managed to point somewhere in the vicinity of Alfred, where the other man was now talking to a harried looking Kiku.

"Yes?" Roderich said, obviously annoyed.

"But he just vent out de toor," Gilbert pointed towards the dining room.

"How much has _he_ drunk?" Eduard asked Roderich.

"Naw! Listen!" Gilbert grabbed Roderich by the shoulder and pointed again towards Alfred. "He just vent out de toor! But he's in here! Dat's not right..."

"Unhand me!" Roderich scowled, prying Gilbert's fingers from his person. Gilbert frowned. Well, he should have known better than to try to convince Roderich of all people of a problem. So he turned towards Eduard.

"Dere's two of dem!"

"I'll get Ludwig," Eduard sighed, rising to his feet.

"Hey!" Gilbert called after him. "Vhy aren't you listenin'?"

Because something was very weird. Unfortunately, Gilbert could not think hard on it because he was distracted by a fly.

_Fucking flies..._


	22. And It's You

_**I Love You**_

**(But I'm Starting To Think One Of Us Is Crazy)**

"Kiku!"

He had asked Ludwig if he had seen where Alfred and Arthur had gone and the other had thought he had seen them go out the side door in the dining room. In that case, Kiku was pretty sure he had every reason to be startled as he was when Alfred's voice was suddenly in his ear and his hand on his shoulder. He nearly jumped. Or he might have, Kiku was not certain. All he knew was that his chest hurt from the sudden acceleration of his heart rate.

"Alfred!" Kiku turned around to look up at his friend. "How..." Kiku looked around for Arthur. "Where is Arthur?"

Alfred let out a little laugh and dropped his hand to his side. "I'd love to know! I was going to change after helping Berwald and Tino, but I lost my keys somewhere."

"Wh..." Kiku tried to comprehend everything that was coming out of the other's mouth. "You lost your keys?"

"But not the keys for Yao's truck, no worries," Alfred waved off Kiku's concern with his right hand.

"But why didn't you just go with Arthur just now?" Kiku asked. He was also wondering what had happened to the red jacket that Alfred had just been wearing.

"Just now?" Alfred questioned. "What? I have to find Antonio, have you seen him?"

"Of course I've seen him," Kiku exclaimed, shocked. "So have you!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

Whatever was Alfred referring to? They had just been talking and he had just told Antonio he did not have the ring and then had gone spouting off about how he was not Alfred... So maybe Arthur was right. Alfred had to be drunk. Even if he did not look as if he were drunk at all, which was strange. Kiku could usually tell. Then again, he had not seen Alfred drunk that often.

"Um... what?" Alfred questioned, looking at him strangely. Kiku did a quick scan to see if he could see Arthur anywhere. "You're weird Kiku. Where's Antonio?"

"In the... in the parlor, I think."

"Thanks!" Alfred smiled. "Be right back!" Kiku had been thinking it was probably a good idea to keep Alfred from Antonio and keep him grounded while looking for wherever Arthur was, because the likelihood that Arthur had just misplaced Alfred on the way out was a strange concept.

Kiku had been thinking about saying that. But could not react as his heart felt like it flipped into his mouth at that smile which for some reason he had not seen on the other all evening.

_Kiku, you idiot. You hopeless, stupid, idiot.

* * *

_

_Notes:_

_So, both Ivan and Kiku have realized something is wrong! Hopefully one of them can actually figure it out. Before another relationship gets messed up or something. Ivan is a bit preoccupied though..._

_Stupid idiot is a bit repetative... but it solidifies the fact someone is acting like a complete prat and knows it._

_100 reviews! Thank you all so much! Glad to know this story is still interesting to you all!  
_


	23. Aru?

**ARUUU!**

"What are you doing, aru?"

Muhammad quickly crunched the numbers in his head. If he smiled or laughed and continued what he was doing, Yao was likely to yell at him or just tell him to stop. If he sighed and acted depressed over the other's mistrust, Yao was likely to ask him to pretend to ignore he said anything about it at all and Muhammad could continue.

The first option was funnier.

"Touching you."

"Get off me!" Yao scowled, pushing him away with mere motions. Muhammad tried his best not to roll his eyes, though his smirk was very visible as he gave up his impromptu shoulder massage. "You better be glad my leg is broken, aru."

"I already am," Muhammad laughed, not put out by the frown on the Chinese man's face. His eyes turned towards the white cast which Yao had tried his best to keep people from writing on. The Im brothers had already managed to scrawl something illegible on it, let along Alfred had managed to draw a little heart, which Kiku had deliberately drawn a squiggle through. Maddox had simply filled in purple dots in a circular motion down one side of it (and had drawn a turtle, but Yao had not seemed to notice that yet. Plus it did not look much like a turtle). And Muhammad had managed to begin to write '_You deserve th-_' right before Yao had kept him from finishing his message.

He _was_ going to put '_Sorry I broke your leg_' right after it. He knew why Yao was miffed, but the Indian was certain if the other loosened up a bit he could probably be enjoying this more.

"...and you would think that for once–" Whoops. Yao had begun talking again. Muhammad sat down on the other end of the couch, recalibrating the words coming out of the other's mouth. He could tell Yao he had not been listening, but the man appeared to be on a rant, so it really did not matter anyway. "The man is no good at all for him. No good at all, aru!"

"I notice you trusted your truck to this 'no good' man," Muhammad quickly assimilated the last few sentences and correctly assumed they were talking about Kiku. Or, Alfred, but in how he pertained to Kiku. Yao could be very clingy to the people he liked. Not Alfred, Kiku. It was sort of funny. Before Yao realized the relationship between the two he rather liked Alfred.

_(Probably because he was not Arthur and he gave the Englishman a hard time.)_

"That is different, aru," Yao waved it off.

"Because it doesn't involve Kiku?" Muhammad questioned.

"Exactly, aru," Yao responded. "Letting him help out is one thing – letting Kiku place such hopes in him is another. In fact, they're both better off not getting together, aru."

Muhammad, who had been about to reach forward for his cup of tea and to pause in mid motion.

"Well, well! That has to be the first time I actually heard someone concerned about this relationship of theirs with any concern towards _Alfred_ of all people," Muhammad raised and lowered his eyebrows suggestively. Yao gaped at him and then threw a couch cushion at him. Muhammad easily caught it.

"As Arthur has quite accurately described his eldest, Alfred has always done better when it has not been for _himself_, aru," Yao stressed the second to last word.

"Except for his profession," Muhammad snickered.

The laughter did not last long. Both stared morosely at the window.

"I just don't want Kiku getting hurt, aru."

"But you cannot deny that if he did, he'd have a doctor to fix him up!"

Muhammad did not bother to duck the next cushion thrown at him. Yao was not the type to go out and ruin things for others. Most likely he would begin freaking out over any little thing he heard Alfred do and begin running to Kiku about it. In turn, Kiku would likely ignore Yao as he always did.

"You're going to do something very stupid so–"

_**Whack!**_

"Ow."

"You should shut up, aru."

* * *

_Notes:_

_If anyone thinks Maddox is not a Chinese name for a Hong Kong citizen... well, you would be right._

_Maddox is a strange case. It was an even stranger adoption. Maddox is the name which Arthur gave him. Maddox sticks with it just to bother big brother Yao. And it really bothers him, which he has every right to be. The fact the other even put himself up for adoption in the first place still rattles his mind. The man has very strange tastes in pranks. Sort of evens out Alfred, actually._

"_You deserve this! Also, sorry I broke your leg" – comes from Demetri Martin. I have always wanted to put this on someone's cast, whether I broke their leg or not. Whether it is their leg or not._

_Alfred is the town physician. Never would have thought that, would you? People always call him an idiot and yet he managed to get the degree with ease. Arthur used to threaten him that he would have to get a real job, so Alfred did. Has a Doctorate and everything._

_Jesus Christ, Jim, the man is a doctor, not a nation!_

_Shutting up about Star Trek here..._

_If anything, it keeps everyone in town healthy because they do not want to have to be treated by him. Not that he does not do his job well, but that is the point. It is sort of creepy that the boy who had to be home schooled by Arthur because of his tendencies to disturb everyone with his outbursts (almost worthy of ADHD) managed to get through college very quickly and efficiently. When Alfred puts his mind to something, let me tell you, it is freaky how fast he can accomplish some things._

_Want to make this chapter funny? Imagine everything Muhammad says the way Russell Peters talks when he is pretending to be his father. Because that is the voice which has become India's for me. Oh dear._


	24. Let's Say Not

**Disappointment Makes Natalia Less Scary?**

The party was over. And she had failed. Natalia cursed her fortune that somehow kept her brother around that... that... _American_ all evening. Natalia had tried to compare what was worse – getting Alfred's attention or failing to talk to her brother.

Now that she was experiencing it, she would definitely say it was the latter. She had the entire thing planned out – she knew what she was going to say and everything! Finally he would agree to letting her stay with him and they would be _happy, _damn it! Natalia had everything planned out from there, if only she could get 'there' to start with. And for the life of her she could not figure out what she was doing wrong. Why did her brother just not come to her?

The fact she stood outside all by herself reflected quite well how she felt. Lonely and forgotten. She could not even bring herself to thank Eduard for taking her idea for the party. She was certain he knew how she felt, so that would be fine she did not say anything, right?

"Hello Natalia."

She glanced up from the snow towards Heidi, standing further down the hill looking up at her.

"Didn't see you at the party," Natalia muttered in the monotone she reserved for anyone not her brother.

"Party?" Heidi blinked, ringing the straps to her camera bag between her hands.

"Oh right," Natalia shrugged. Maybe no one told Heidi because Vash would likely find out if they did. "Never mind. What are you doing?"

"Working on my portfolio," Heidi rose her camera bag again, the small but content smile present on her face. "I figured with all of this snow I could... well, find some good subjects to take pictures of." Heidi hesitated, fingers running along the outside of the bag.

"Okay," Natalia shrugged, staring up at the stars. It was probably time to go home. She had hoped Ivan would take this road on his way home, but that did not seem to be the case. He was probably already home and she had missed him again. Of course, if he was still talking to Alfred (which did not make sense!) then there was still the chance...

"...do you mind?"

Natalia returned her attention back to Heidi. "What?"

"If I... took your picture?" Heidi had her camera all set up and in hand. The camera seemed rather too big for her, came the absent thought. Probably was the reason she sunk into the snow, the girl was so small she probably would run right over the top of the snow without it. "Like that, with you looking up at the sky?"

Natalia stared at her. "Sure."

Heidi sure took some strange fancies with her pictures. Natalia could not think where this would fit in, except if this photo _was_ actually going into her portfolio.

She sat like that for a while, before hearing the clicking from the camera finally stop. "Thank you so much!"

Natalia shrugged, returning her neck back to normal position. "It's nothing..." she noted a brown square dropping out of Heidi's bag. "You dropped your wallet."

"Oh!" Heidi quickly picked it up. "It's not mine," she informed her, not that Natalia cared much. She was still listening though, so maybe it was her own fault. Not that much was, mind you, but maybe this. "I found it near the station. Someone must have left it, so I am going to give it to brother. It might belong to his newest prisoner!" She sounded very excited about that.

Natalia narrowed her eyes. Of course _Heidi_ could have a brother that doted on her and payed attention to her and all that. Lucky little...

"Not fair."

"What?"

"Nothing," Natalia grumbled, getting to her feet. "It's late, you probably shouldn't be out anyway, right?"

Heidi flushed slightly. "Brother has company though... I didn't think he'd notice."

Now, _that_ would be the day. "Whatever you say," Natalia shrugged.

"Goodnight Natalia. And thank you again!"

"Night," she gave a nod at Heidi's wave and began walking home. She would have to think of something else to get close to Ivan, that was it. No giving up now!

Family had to stay close, after all. And people kept telling her there was nothing closer than marriage.

"Oh brother~"

* * *

_Notes:_

_Trying to write an insane person sane has never been my forte, but I seem to try for it often. Hope the feeling came across. Without Ivan around though, she seems rather sane, actually._

_Heidi wants to become a photographer. That is a story in itself, when she and Vash moved into town. He did not mean to become stuck here, just was going to pass through. Then he ended up helping out and was assigned here. Vash was not happy as he was planning on getting a place where Heidi could be close to an arts college so when she graduated she could continue her photography. Of course, Heidi was not completely bothered. After the initial disappointment she found she could already get paid by Elizaveta for some special photos._

_Heidi is not as innocent as she looks._


	25. Eh, Do What You Want

**There Is The Third Option**

**(Warning: Don't Consider While Tired)**

_Maybe I'm taking the wrong course for this, eh. Maybe there is no Alfred and this entire town is simply raving mad._

Either way Matthew was still trying to decide the best course of action as Arthur pulled him down the streets. He did not doubt he could probably pull out of the man's grip, but he did not know whether the other would be violent, whether he could run fast, and whether Matthew would be able to find the inn where his belongings were.

And his wallet! He still had not found that! Not that there would be any point looking for it out in the snow in the dark. Adrenaline running out, Matthew found that at this point he was simply exhausted. He was tired when he first came into town and it had not progressed well since. Through half lidded eyes, Matthew was beginning not to care what was going on. It might not have been _all_ he wanted to do, but sleep was very quickly becoming high on his priority list.

Would everything become clear after sleep? Probably not. Matthew did not care at this point.

He was going to try and explain it to this Kiku! Certainly this Alfred's best friend would be able to tell he was not Alfred, right?

Then there was the Spaniard, something about a ring he was supposed to have and because he did not have it the man's... boyfriend? His boyfriend broke up with him. Matthew felt sort of sick.

And he had not been able to say goodbye to Ivan. Which really should not be a problem, considering the fact Ivan still thought he was Alfred and might have expected such behavior from him. People did not seem to expect much of Alfred anyway. At least, everyone except Kiku and... Antonio? Matthew was pretty sure the man's name was Antonio.

Unless, of course, there was no Alfred and Matthew was falling into this insanity too. All of the warnings about Hearth would make sense if that were the case.

_Matthew Williams, what have you gotten yourself into, eh?_

Arthur was talking at this point, but it was more of a grumble and Matthew finally came to the conclusion he was talking to himself. Did that happen often? Why was he even trying to think about it?

He was too tired. And hopefully not really here.

"You're making a mistake, eh," Matthew sighed out, almost not even trying. How could he be so much like another no one would believe him?

"And _you_ left your keys on the table," Arthur frowned, moving towards the table, picking up the offending objects and throwing it at him. Matthew missed the prompt to catch it and the keys hit him in the forehead.

"Ouch..." Matthew squinted at the impact, before staring down at the keys and picking them off the floor.

"It's too quiet down there," Arthur groused, looking towards a door. "No explosions? Maddox better be out. I'm not walking into another one of his pranks... I already have you to deal with."

Explosions? Matthew swallowed. "I'm not Alfred. I'm–"

"Go to your room and get some sleep," Arthur waved off down the hallway. "I'm not in the mood to take your crap right now. And you deserve every ounce of pain your hangover is going to give you in the morning."

"But I'm not–"

"Bed!" Arthur shouted. Matthew wilted.

"Yes sir," he ran down the hallway, forgetting he did not even know which room was supposed to be Alfred's.

Maybe he was assuming, but Matthew decided it was probably the bedroom with the television and game console on the floor and the comic books piled up against one of the walls. He felt like he was intruding, but... any luck, this Alfred would show up and everything would be figured out.

Matthew sat down on the bed and waited. He should have thought of that earlier! Alfred was going to show up at his own house! Everything will turn out well and he could be allowed to apologize for the confusion and leave, find his wallet, go back to the inn, sleep, and then go.

There was knocking at the door. Matthew waited for the sounds of surprise and realization.

And waited.

Matthew was still waiting.

He also fell asleep without warning. But, as he was very tired, he could hopefully be excused.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Maddox _chooses_ to spend his time in the basement. Because from there he can set off fireworks in the house and still have a running start when Arthur comes after him._


	26. Unfortunately Alfred, No One Cares

**It's Too Late To Pull Off This Sort Of Crap**

Alfred F. Jones was not pleased.

"Okay, something's up."

He was not really used to saying things to no one, but as there was no one around Alfred supposed that is what he just did. There was a first time for everything.

He pushed the doorbell again and waited.

The other had to be home! Alfred happened to know that Arthur still had classes tomorrow. It was one of the few things which kept Arthur from getting completely drunk. And he _had_ been at the party. At least, so he was told. Of course everyone else must have been hammered, so he was not even certain about that now.

What the hell was going on? First there was Kiku acting weird and then he could not find Antonio... then Uncle Roy and Brian started making fun of him for something, but either they were so drunk they did not know what they were talking about or they were speaking in a new code they had not let him in on yet, which was really annoying because he could usually trust them to give him a leg up on his precious 'mum', but either way he had no idea what they were speaking of.

Which went for what most people said, actually. Hell, the one who made the most sense was Feliks! But that was probably because of their shortened conversation and...

Scratch that, he asked about some dude Alfred had never heard of before.

Alfred frowned and pushed the doorbell again.

"Come on mom," Alfred ground his teeth. He would not believe it. Tino had heard it from Feliks of all people! Arthur had not kicked him out of the house! He would have known about it before anyone else! If Arthur was that pissed off about something he would not be secretive about his retribution. So it did not make sense!

"Alfred? Vhat are you doing?"

Alfred turned to see Ludwig, with his brother's arm slung over his shoulder. Gilbert had a look on his face that said he was just rambling – as he did when he got really drunk – but was now just staring at him quietly. Which was creepy on all sorts of levels.

"I lost my keys," Alfred shrugged.

"Isn't Arthur home?" Ludwig frowned. Alfred stared back at his house.

"Yeah, at least, I thought so from the lights. But he isn't letting me in!"

Ludwig followed his gaze for a moment before looking back at him. "Vell... did you to someding to deserfe dis?"

"No!" Alfred denied instantly. Ludwig sighed.

"Vhy don't you help me carry dis idiot back to his place?" Ludwig suggested. Alfred stared back at his house.

_Don't have anything better to do since _someone_ doesn't want me to be able to go to bed or anything..._

"Sure," Alfred shrugged, easily picking up Gilbert from under his other arm. "Not that he'd be helping or anythin', but where's Feliciano?"

"No clue." Ludwig looked a bit miffed at that, which Alfred supposed was understandable. "Just left me at de party."

"So tit yoooou... vhen ya came in!" Gilbert drawled an accusation.

Alfred followed Ludwig's example and ignored him as they dragged him home. Except for the occasional snicker. Alfred could not be stopped from laughing at the other.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Yes, I am aware in the previous chapter Alfred was knocking and now it is him ringing the doorbell. Well, the doorbell is the sound of knocking. Alfred bought it because he got such a kick out of it. It only annoys Arthur, but since Alfred installed it himself there is little to do about it now._

_It is very personal, mostly one on one, but Arthur still teaches. You would be surprised just how well he does with the children. Alfred is certain all Arthur's students are a bit insane to like his 'mom', but there you go._


	27. Sometimes Hurts More Than Others

**Pain Of One's Own Decision**

He was not used to his brother screaming nonsensical things. Lovino took great measures to make certain that people understood the insults he was hurling at them. Feliciano was used to it – Lovino seemed to think that he would not be passed over if he was loud enough. His own assurances to the other always were ignored, so after a while Feliciano stopped.

Feliciano loved Lovino, but he also knew his brother well. The other was an asshole, to put it simply. And as much of a crybaby, if not more, than himself. But never like this.

"Lovino... Lovino!" Feliciano wrapped his arms around Lovino's so as to keep the other still. The scary thing, the _really scary_ thing, was the fact that Lovino did not even try and pull away. He simply cried into Feliciano's shoulder.

"Shh... shh! It's going to be okay." Lovino's head jerked up and appeared to gape at him for a moment before shrieking once more and hiding his head into his own hands. Feliciano was not certain, but he thought he heard Antonio's name (and maybe a bastard or two) amongst the rest of the words he could not make out. He loosened his grip slightly so he could try and pull Lovino towards him to sit down on one of the few remaining benches in Hearth.

"What happened? Lovino..." Feliciano tried to convince his brother to speak to him. Like with his earlier attempts, Lovino did not answer him. "Does it have to do with Antonio?" Lovino suddenly became very quiet. Feliciano nervously decided that though the subject suddenly seemed dangerous it was probably the right one so forage ahead he would have to do. "Was... Antonio at the party, ve?"

That did not make sense at all. Not that Antonio did not like parties, Gilbert would often rope him into things. But they had a date tonight. Antonio would not cancel a date to show up at the party. He would have dragged Lovino to the party for part of their date, if he really wanted to go. That... just did not make one bit of sense in his Italian mind.

But by the way Lovino reacted, Feliciano could only guess it was the right answer.

"_No_..." he shook his head. "Antonio wouldn't do that!" he tried to laugh and hug him, but Lovino hit him in the shoulder and his laugh turned into a small 'ow' and his hug turned into rubbing his shoulder.

"Well... he did," Lovino choked out, leaning against him. "God damn it... I..." Lovino shut his eyes tightly.

"Maybe he knew you were there and was looking for you!" Feliciano suggested. Lovino shook his head so hard the both of them nearly fell over. "Oh?" Feliciano frowned down at the other. _I refuse to take this! Antonio would never do something mean, especially to Lovino!_ "What makes you say that?"

"He said so," Lovino sobbed again and the anger Feliciano had been trying to build in order to kick some sense into his brother went out the pasta man's brain.

"He wouldn't do that!" Feliciano exclaimed, shocked. "It's... Antonio!"

"I know!" Lovino screamed at him before hiding his face one more into Feliciano's shoulder. Feliciano wrapped his arms around him again.

They sat there for a while as Feliciano tried to think of a possible reason for something like that.

Of course, there was the obvious way of finding out. Feliciano finally remembered it.

"And why was he there?"

"How the hell should I know?" Lovino sniffed.

"Um... you could have asked him?" Feliciano tried.

"I don't care."

"Of course you do!" Feliciano swatted at his shoulder lightly. "He's your boyfriend!" And for some reason that set Lovino off crying again. "Wha? What did I say? Ve... Lovino! What's wrong?"

"He's... not anymore," Lovino seemed to choke the words out.

"Oh!" Feliciano's eyes widened. "He didn't break up with you! No!"

Lovino shook his head, leaving Feliciano both dazed and confused. He was still dazed but not as much confused as Lovino said, "I... I broke up with him, idiot."

"You broke up with him?" he gasped. Lovino nodded. "You..._ broke up_ with him? You broke up with _him_?"

"Yes, Goddamn it!" Lovino snarled at him before he began crying again.

No... Feliciano was still as confused as he was before. And so he came up with the wonderful idea. He would have to go see Antonio. _That_ would solve everything!

First he had to get Lovino home. He would see Antonio tomorrow.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Want to know what happened to the other benches of Hearth? Probably not._

_These things Gilbert ropes Antonio into are not things Antonio quite realizes. As most things, actually._

_Thing._


	28. Too Bad, So Sad

**I Spy With My Little Eye... Damn It!**

"Tired?"

Roderich was trying not to show it, but Elizaveta was too perceptive. Which he should know by this point in their relationship. Of course, she knew him well enough that he would say he was 'slightly fatigued' because of some reason or another. Which was absolutely adorable.

"I am a little fatigued," Elizaveta tried not to giggle, "because of that detestable German. I don't know how you put up with him, my dear."

"I suppose he is an acquired taste," she shrugged. She could be just as annoyed at Gilbert as Roderich was, but after knowing someone for an entire life (as it was lived so far) it was hard not to forgive his antics eventually. A hooligan he may be, but a horrible person he was not.

She unlocked the door and could immediately tell she had work to do. Though Erin usually never would spill a drop of precious alcohol on purpose, falling unconscious on the floor ruined that chance completely. Roderich could not seem to help a small sound of disgust at the sight. Elizaveta turned a smile towards him.

"So much for a night cap," she laughed lightly, managing to neutralize his frown. "Good night, Roderich."

"Do you... want any help?" Roderich questioned. Elizaveta kept her smile in check. Oh, he never would have offered before, no matter how much of a gentleman he pretended to be!

"No, it's fine," she kissed him on the cheek. "It won't take me long to clean up."

"Very well," Roderich nodded, giving her a light kiss back. "Good night then, Elizaveta."

"Night Roderich."

She watched him ascend the stairs before turning to her task. Thankfully Erin had not fallen in the mess and was not now flammable. That would have been a disaster waiting to happen. Grabbing an arm in each hand she dragged the man towards the stairs, not bothering to be gentle about it. It was not as if the man would notice.

It was at times like this Elizaveta wished that she had not given Erin the room on the top floor. Then again, she had not really wanted him on the floor with anyone else. There were too many people who (when using the rooms by choice and not being passed out drunk) would not appreciate it.

Speaking of which...

Elizaveta stopped, leaving Erin on the stairs and tiptoed over to the room Alfred had rented. Wicked smile on her face, she pressed her ear against the door.

Nothing.

Smile vanished, though she continued to listen, just in case. Were they done? The thought caused her despair as she reached for her keys and unlocked the door.

There was Alfred's bag, whatever that was for. But that was it. No Alfred. No Kiku.

"He must not have gotten him," she murmured to herself sadly, closing the door and locking it. Alfred would still have to return the key though. Not that she was in a hurry to get it back, he might try again tomorrow. Even if he did not, he would have to pay her for as long as he had it.

He could afford it. She sighed and returned to Erin.


	29. The House Speaks!

**Interactive!**

**(What Gets Forgotten In This Chapter?)**

The door opened ahead of her, making it unnecessary to free her arms from their burden. First thing she had to remember to do – give her brother the wallet she had found. "I'm home!" she called. Her voice was small, but with iMarcus around that never mattered much.

"Have fun?" the house asked.

"Yes," she nodded, pulling her bag strap down from her shoulder. Heidi could almost imagine she heard Marcus sigh. Vash always told her she was imagining it. Strange as a house that could talk could be, it would not do something as Human as sigh. Kiku let her in on a secret though: he had no doubt that it probably could sigh if it so wanted to.

Heidi decided that it was probably best Vash did not know about that. It was hard enough for him living in a house who could regulate many of its appliances on its own. Heidi found it rather amazing and had since had Kiku show her how he did some of it.

She loved photography, but she also loved the technical aspect of the machinery involved and not just how the picture looked.

"Heidi!" She could hear the sudden movement of one of the dining room chairs. Setting her bag down on the couch Heidi turned around to see Vash coming into the room with the look on his face telling her she was going to be getting a small lecture.

Well, it was the same look he always had on his face, but the nuances in his body language were easy for her to discern by now.

"Good evening, brother," she said happily.

"It's past midnight!" Vash exclaimed. "You had me worried."

"But Maddox was the sensible one that kept him inside..." iMarcus snickered (which Vash would pretend did not happen either). "Which is great, considering he was not about to take any sensible advice from _me_."

"Thank you Maddox!" Heidi called into the kitchen, where she saw the Asian peek his head out to give her a slight nod and wave.

"I apologize for presuming... but I was certain you were taking this opportunity to take some night pictures without being interrupted," Maddox said, Vash obviously still miffed. Of course, he was her brother and she had not informed him how long she was going to be out... her fault.

Still, Vash had no reason to fear. He had taught her well in defending herself, after all. When it came to her protection, even Vash knew how to fight dirty. Of course she knew when and where each fighting style would be appropriate and most effective.

She would just prefer not to get into the trouble though. And despite what Vash would say about the people in this town, they had all been so miraculously nice to her since they had arrived!

"I told them you took all of your camera stuff," iMarcus chimed in. Before Vash could continue the accusation Heidi knew she deserved, she quickly apologized.

"I'm so sorry brother, I had not meant to be out so late. I became carried away with some of the sights, it's so beautiful this time of year!" She reached into her bag to bring out her small digital camera to bring up some of her evidence. "I took this one down by the station!"

By this point Maddox had come closer to stand next to Vash to look as well. "It looks ab–"

"Can you download that one on to the computer desktop? I really like that one."

"Certainly iMarcus," Heidi assured him. Vash shifted slightly, but he no longer seemed as frustrated.

"It's very good," he said. Heidi knew when her brother meant these things. Most people would think he never really praised her or the like, but they just did not understand his way of communicating. "Next time just remember to call."

"I will; I am very sorry Vash," she set the camera back down and threw her arms around him. Vash did not react as soon as he usually did and a slight cough from Maddox reminded her why.

"As it is after twelve..."

"Would you like to take some chocolates with you, Maddox?" iMarcus offered. A slight bang in the kitchen which caused the three of them to wince was most likely the sound of the refrigerator door hitting the wall.

"Stop offering up my food!" Vash shouted.

"But brother," Heidi gasped. Not that she did not understand why Vash might be a bit upset with iMarcus doing so. That did not mean it was best to say it right now...

"That's alright," Maddox laughed slightly. Vash almost instantly flushed.

"But... if you want some..." Vash covered a cough.

"I could not!"

Heidi knew when she should not be around and it was now. So she retreated into the kitchen to close the refrigerator door. Looking at the flowers on the table, she giggled.

Then she wondered how long it would be for Vash to remember refusing things at first was just how Maddox responded to gifts at first.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Marcus = Rome. Oh yes, I went there. I turned Rome into the house computer. And not just any house computer. Vash's house's computer._

_If anyone noticed, I stole this idea from Eureka. I am not ashamed to say so. I love that show and I suddenly realized how Vash is stationed in Hearth was a bit how Jack was stationed in Eureka – passing by, helps out problem, and is put up for the job without wanting to be there. He reacts a bit differently (because it is Vash) and Heidi is not rebellious... but yeah._

_And it is still constable, not sheriff._

_Kiku made the computer, along with a brilliant idea for a house, but Feliciano and Lovino's grandfather stopped through town and it recorded and imprinted his personality when he came by. Kiku could not change it, nor deal with the ensuing personality (and had not the heart to trash the project) and simply moved into a different house. But, alas, this was the only house open when Vash and Heidi were stuck here... so they got iMarcus._

_I will not justify a friendship between Vash and Maddox. Maddox, ever polite and yet still prank worthy, can get in trouble with Vash and still manage not to get Vash annoyed. Does not stop Vash from coming when called to stop a particularly large scale prank..._

_(Like when Alfred locked Tino and Berwald out of their shop and he and Maddox cleared the floor and had planned to polish and refurnish the place and then take some spirits as payment but Vash managed to get Feliciano to pick the lock...)_

_There is never any hard feelings._

_So when Maddox is not into making his own brand of trouble they get along smashingly. Arthur thinks so anyway, as he is hoping spending time with an enforcer of the law will settle him down. Not that Maddox breaks the law much – at least no where as near as Alfred and Ivan and others._

_And Arthur has tried to get Vash to manage it to take away any rights Maddox has for fireworks. Failed miserably because Vash happened to like the fireworks he and Maddox set off._

_Lo and behold, the Matthew's first day in Hearth is finally (oh God finally!) over! Long freaking day. Day two starts tomorrow, my dear readers. Thank you for sticking with the story as yet far!_

_And dear Mystery Man: I know people would prefer longer chapters. It was what I tried to decide over before I posted this story, whether to have longer or shorter chapters. I decided on what could allow me to update more often. I know I prefer longer chapters and I will probably go back to that setup in my next long story. As it is, I can practice on long and short term effect with people who have not actually contacted each other, which is something I have needed to practice on._

_And believe me, each chapter will have something to do with the story. It is the shortness of the chapters that keeps everyone from thinking that is the case, but most of the subplots will wrap around to affect the main plot, I assure you._

_And thank you all for the reviews.  
_


	30. Perish The Thought!

**A Breakfast Without Wurst Barely Stands Living!**

"Fuck... just... fuck..."

Ludwig groaned as he felt the other roll off of him. Opening his eyes blearily he watched his brother stumble into a wall, curse again, and leave to the bathroom. He sat up on the couch, wondering why he had not left last night to his own house and left Alfred to deal with Gilbert and how he had ended up being the comforter for his brother.

Probably because Gilbert was more his responsibility than he was Alfred's and though Alfred said he could take care of it Ludwig was more inclined to watch over the other himself. It was not a smart move to leave Gilbert alone while drunk. Alfred would try, of course, the man knew what he was doing. At least, Ludwig _knew_ that he did. Believing the fact was a bit more difficult when Alfred would ask what quintessential meant while snapping on his latex gloves for a checkup.

He would be kidding, but sometimes it was difficult to discern that at first.

Getting up, Ludwig went to his brother's room, scowled at the condition of it, took some clean clothes and reminded himself to lecture Gilbert over the condition of his house. How could he let it fall into such disarray since the last time Ludwig had been here?

"Mornin'!" Alfred said cheerfully as Ludwig came into the kitchen. Ludwig stared at the breakfast Alfred was cooking and almost forgot to respond.

"Uh... morning."

"Sit down, it's almost done."

Ludwig had mixed feelings about it, but did so. Soon enough he had a breakfast which seemed a bit too elaborate and Alfred was off with something else out of the room. Ludwig scowled.

His omelet had too much _plant_ in it.

"Don't look like that, I told you you needed more vegetables in your diet," Alfred responded, biting into the hamburger he had made himself. "You eat too much meat." Ludwig easily labeled Alfred as a hypocrite.

"Ant dat's... your breakfast?" he questioned, glaring at the other. Alfred looked down at his hamburger and took a bite out of it.

"Y'h! I've... weird metabolism.... 'gest've syst'm. I'd g' inta it... 'less I c'ld try an'... r'pair t'ms... d'n't th'nk y'd g't it."

Despite the occasional moments where Alfred would swallow and just say the words, Ludwig missed what he said. And discovered he really did not mind.

He was too busy glowering at his breakfast.

"I gave Gil some stuff to help with his hangover, but considering how trashed he was it might take a bit longer to work than it usually does," Alfred finally mentioned through plain air (as opposed to elaborate hamburger).

As if to prove his point, Gilbert came in. He was still clutching his head, but he managed not to walk into the chair as he sat down at the table. "Vhere's my teer...?" he stared down at the other plate at the table in horror. "Who vould do dis?" he looked up at Ludwig. "I dought you vere my bruder!"

"I am your bruder," Ludwig rolled his eyes.

"Den vhy vould you do dis?" Gilbert moaned, staring at the omelet with disgust and disbelief and a bunch of other words starting with 'dis'.

"I didn't," Ludwig retorted. Alfred waved his hand by wiggling his fingers at them.

"Hello! It's thanks for letting me stay over."

Like he had a choice or anything. "Bastard," Gilbert hit his head on the table. He did not move afterward.

"You going to try ant talk to Arthur?" Ludwig asked, poking at the omelet with a fork.

"Actually... I have somethin' a little more important to do first," Alfred patted his breast pocket. "I need to try and get in touch with Antonio. For some reason it is difficult beyond reason..."

Speaking of which...

Ludwig was not used to a morning in which he was not pestered by Feliciano. Was there something wrong? What if something had happened at the party and he had missed it? Most people were at least buzzing, so he might have gotten in trouble and Ludwig had missed it. Idiot!

He would call him, but Feliciano usually never picked up the phone unless he was the one calling and if Lovino picked it up he would never get to talk to him.

_Damn it. I have to go find him.

* * *

_

_Notes:_

_Anyone guess it? Ludwig and Gilbert are your handy dandy home repair team!_

_I am laughing too hard at the situations implied to make up any real facts right now. I feel horrible. It is not the Mario Bros., because they are not Italian! I totally messed that one over, do not try thinking about it very hard._

_I should probably stop giving brothers the same occupation. Well, Matty is not a doctor, that is for certain._


	31. With Vodka In A Bagel, You Can Have

**Vodka In The Morning, Vodka In The Evening, Vodka At Supper Time!**

**(Chapter Does Not Actually Contain Much Vodka)**

Kat hummed as she opened the sliding glass door and returned inside. She rather liked mail, even if most of it was catalogs and advertisements. Considering it only came once a week made it special. And she needed a special day right now. Right before she confronted her brother.

She loved Ivan. She really did. But she could understand how others could be a bit scared of him. He was rather tall after all. And strong. Not that he would do anything horrible to anyone! Not after college anyway. He was better than then, she had made sure of it.

As brave a man as Angus was about everything, she could understand why any attention by Ivan would unnerve him. Still, he did not mean to be intimidating, but because he was she would ask him as nicely as she could to give Angus some space. Kat wanted her brother and friend to get along, but if that required some separate time then so be it. She could be patient!

"Morning Ivan!" she chirped happily, seeing a somewhat bleary-eyed Ivan in the kitchen. He stared at her for a moment, as if not knowing who she was.

"Kat..." he reached for his cup and Kat reached over and took it. It was obviously not coffee. She pulled a face at the smell of the vodka.

"In the morning?" she gasped, staring up at him. "Ivan!"

"Not now Kat, please," he retreated slightly to his kitchen table. She poured the vodka down the sink and went to make coffee.

"Remember? You promised that there vould be no more drinking in morning," she reminded him. He grumbled something. "Vhat was that?"

"Do you vant help vith breakfast?" Ivan asked sheepishly. With a brilliant smile she pulled some things out of the refrigerator, handed them to him and the two of them began cooking. With coffee in him, Ivan seemed a bit more coherent. Which was a good thing, as Kat handed over the knife.

"Can I ask you somezing?" she asked, heating up the stovetop.

"Da?"

"I was vondering... I think you intimidate Angus."

"Da." Kat stopped, looking towards him strangely.

"What?"

"Vhat?" he returned the question, looking confused. Kat tried again.

"You should try to give him some space. He would probably feel better."

"Why vould I do zat?" Ivan looked at her with confusion. "He vill just try to bozer you more."

"He doesn't bother me, he's my friend!" Kat exclaimed, shocked. What was wrong with Ivan? Maybe they had gotten in an argument? But Ivan would not say such things over such a petty thing as that!

"He's no good," Ivan wheeled about on her, setting the knife down on the counter. "You should not be seeing him Kat."

"He is good!" Kat responded, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. _Oh, don't cry, don't cry..._

"He'll just take advantage of... are you crying?"

"He's my friend!" Kat exclaimed, bursting into tears. He was doing it on purpose? But Ivan would not do that to her, not Ivan!

"Kat! Oh... don't cry, don't cry!"

"I can't believe you, little brother!" she sobbed, running out of the house.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Ivan and Katyusha do not live together, they are neighbors. As Ivan has keys to Katyusha's house she does not bother to lock up. Ivan constantly lectured her on that and spent a lot of his time locking up her house for her and then sticking around to let her back in. Finally he gave her keys to his house so she could wait in there. They end up having breakfast together most mornings. You can see why Natalia is jealous of her._

**_To M. Diane:_**

_Your question is not stupid. That is one of the entire comedic points to the original 'A Comedy of Errors'. The brother and slave which come to this town have come to find their respective twins (who even have the same names as them), but it never crosses their minds once that the reason for all of the insanity is because they are being confused for their twin. I watched the entire play wondering this: why did they not just assume their brothers were here, as that is the entire reason they are going anywhere?_

_But I digress. In the original, they have been looking for many years. In this story, Matthew has been looking for one year. His main reason for travel might have started to be finding this missing part of his family, but at this point it is mostly for the sake of seeing new things and looking for the Arthur and Alfred Kirkland has been pushed to the back of his head. He reminds himself to ask an official when he is there, but otherwise it is him taking a very long vacation. And despite the fact it has been thirty one chapters, he has only been in Hearth for an evening and overnight, while tired by travel. Not in his best element.  
_

_There is also the fact that Arthur and Alfred are common names. Matthew has been focusing a bit more on finding **Kirkland**, more than Arthur and Alfred, because it will cut out a lot of searching time by going by last name first. But Arthur (and Alfred) do not go by Kirkland anymore, which would shock the hell out of Francis. News flash to all readers! It is Arthur and Alfred **Jones**.__ There is also the fact Francis has never said to Matthew his brother looked exactly like him, because Francis would rather tell Matthew just how special and different he is. Right before he goes hitting on some random woman/man/thing/of the English sort._

_I know all of these reasons are more of excuses than something that makes sense - but as I said, I based the idea from the play which made no sense in the first place. Mostly for laughs. If none of these explanations cut it for you, just try not to take it too seriously. I thank you for your curiousity and your courage to ask the question. -Words  
_


	32. An American! Canada Is In North America

**And Behind Door Number Three...**

Ivan did not know what was wrong. Well, he knew there were a few things wrong – a few too much for him to deal with – but the causes of these problems eluded him.

First was his sister. Katyusha suddenly crying like that. Ivan hated making her cry. He knew she did so easily, but it never made him feel any better about it when she started. Why was she crying? Ivan knew Angus wanted a little bit more than to just be _friends _with her. He had grown up having to defend her from lewd looks of men who obviously only wanted one thing. Kat was cursed with her figure and did not even seem to realize it. Ivan did, because he spent a lot of time making certain no one else would have to make her realize it in a bad way.

But she would come back eventually and he could try and explain it to her better. When he was not slightly tipsy.

Second: Toris. Oh, Toris. His intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, _fragile_ Toris. Ivan wanted to be happy for him. He seemed to have moved beyond what had happened between the two, if he had gotten another boyfriend. Who was it? Ivan shook that thought from his head. Best not to ask, he would find out sooner or later. He was not going to seek him out and break them up, he was not going to, he was not...

_Not fair._

Ivan would be fine with just being friends with Toris. If Toris and he could reconcile... he liked Toris for Toris. Everything else that had turned their relationship into romance had been a bonus.

Or a penalty. No, he would not torture Toris by wanting to get that close to him again. He had to focus on friendship. Ivan could do that, he could be patient and wait. He could show Toris that he was better.

Drinking so early in the morning probably was not a good start though. Katyusha was right. _Idiot._

Finally, last but not least, Alfred.

There was something going on there and Ivan had no idea what it was. The man had not enraged him into a fight. That was new. Even when Ivan was sober Alfred would always manage something to get him infuriated. There was something happening with Alfred and Ivan hoped Alfred was not snapping. Dealing with Natalia insane was enough, if Alfred was really going crazy... clinically crazy, not his usual brand of it that the man probably ate with his cereal.

So while Kat was by herself and would cry herself down so they could talk later, and Ivan would stay away from Toris so he would feel comfortable in town first, Ivan decided to deal with the third problem he would probably be able to figure out in a day. Alfred was not that complex, after all. He could be confusing, but once the underlying reasons came out he was not complicated.

This was the reason why Ivan found himself at Alfred, Arthur, and Maddox's house after breakfast. He wondered how he would explain it to Arthur. Arthur would think this was weird. So would Maddox, but the man only got out of bed before eleven if a bomb was dropped on him. Or Arthur, actually. And even then Maddox never actually woke up. Weird man.

Arthur opened the door. The man looked confused even before he seemed to comprehend who was standing in front of him. "Ivan?"

"Sorry for bozering you so early in morning." Ivan did not sound as if he was sorry because he really was not. "Is Alfred still in?"

"Yeah," Arthur pushed his hand back through his hair.

"Can he come out to play?" Ivan smirked. Arthur stared at him. Ivan could not understand the Englishman. Either he was completely obvious, or completely masked. There did not seem to be much middle ground.

"Are we talking about... Alfred, eh?" came the annoyed voice of Alfred. He looked like he did not get much sleep and if not a little bit dazed. Arthur just looked confused. Then annoyed as well.

"You take him. Before I kill him," Arthur said with irritation. "No hangover, my ass..." he grumbled, heading back into his house.

"Vhat is it?" Ivan asked Alfred, who sighed as if in surrender.

"He didn't come, eh," he said.

"Who?" Ivan asked, wondering who Alfred could have expected to see yesterday. After that party? It was so late by then...

"Alfred," said Alfred glumly.

Ivan stared. "Right. How many fingers am I holding up?"

Alfred glared at him. Ivan decided the man must be messing with him, because that was definitely a better reaction. If not an Alfred reaction.

Ivan decided he had his work cut out for him.

* * *

_My muse is gone. Again. I thought I would mention it because last time I did it came back. If not, anyone have any suggestions as to what helps? I really do not want to come to a stop now. And it is not as if I do not know what to write - I have most of the summaries for each chapter, I know what I am going to write for the most part - but it just will not flow. Blargh._


	33. By Two Quiet People

**A Rather Quiet Conversation**

It was Yong Soo's fault. Simply said, simply accepted. Gupta had been about to let him take all of the blame, as Eduard had been willing to give it.

But Gupta was no fool. One look at the painting showed that it would not be cheap. The fact Eduard owned it said it was rather expensive. And though it was Yong Soo's fault, Yong Soo had not meant to break it, even if he was being rather not careful. It was for this reason though, that Gupta spoke up and said he would pay for the frame.

Yong Soo would still probably struggle to get the money to refurbish the painting, but he would not have to worry about buying an entirely new frame.

Gupta stared into his wallet mournfully, hoping that there would be one in town for some reason or another. He had high hopes for this, because Tino and Berwald often had very random things stocked in their back room, ripe for when someone wanted some random thing for whatever reason.

Gupta did not understand this town, one of the other reasons he had not wanted Heracles to move here. Things would not be quiet enough for him. Gupta would almost feel the same for himself, but living with all of this excitement was rather nice. At least, when one was not directly involved. Gupta still preferred sitting in the town square and listening to everything occur rather than be convinced by Kiku to buy a television.

There was the sound of the phone being picked up. Conversation was to commence.

So did silence. Gupta thought about it for a moment and landed with the conclusion that Berwald had answered the phone. Which could potentially make this difficult.

"... 'lo?"

"Hello."

Silence.

"Do you have frames?"

"Y'"

_Y'?_ thought Gupta, not close to panicking, but still wishing Tino had picked up the phone. _Unless he has begun speaking Swedish on me, can I assume that is a yes...?_

"A... ninety by one twenty?"

"Th'nk so."

_I think he said think, so that means they have it._ Gupta felt rather proud of himself. Despite not preparing for this development, he was doing well enough.

"I will come now." To pick it up. Gupta had never been a fan of saying unnecessary things and the reason why he was coming was rather obvious. Gupta had never been a fan of talking. His mother taught him much was ignored because people spent too much time talking. Gupta took these teachings to heart. Which was why he knew most of what was going on in town without anyone actually knowing he did.

"I'll g't 't r'dy f'r y'," was the response. Berwald hung up. Gupta stood there for a moment.

_I'll was most likely I'll... g't is either get or got or girt and 't is either ought or it. R'dy... r'dy... ready? F'r is for, that I am sure. Y'? Yes? Or yeah? Your? You?_

Putting that together Gupta came up with 'I'll girt ought ready for, yeah.'

Gupta was certain that was not right. He would have to scramble it again, but he had already forgotten what he had gotten 'ought' from.

Well, whatever he had said, Berwald had seemed certain they had the right size frame there. Despite whatever it was Berwald had actually said.

Gupta sighed.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Heracles is a librarian in the city. It is a library full of old books and not so many people show up there, but that is all right because Heracles spends most of his time sleeping at the desk. Every weekend Heracles comes to town to see his friends Kiku and Gupta and to run his bookstore which otherwise is just run as another library. And to get away from Sadiq, who likes to come to his house and pester him._

_90 x120 **cm**. For my American readers who have been cursed with a weird measurement system as opposed to the easy metric._

_Actually, Feliks knows Gupta knows all he knows. Feliks annoys Gupta a lot by asking him about it. You know. What he knows._

_Hello everyone! Thank you all for your advice! I did not get to all of it, but next time my muse goes on the fritz I will take the rest of the advice to heart! Thank you all!_

_I have to say at first I took the advice of leaving the computer alone - which was easy enough to do when coming down with a killer migraine and falling asleep in the heat, making it worse. Then, while absolutely blitzkrieged, I wrote stuff for both a story involving my drabble on Half-Life, my drabble on The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning, and stuff for something I should be working on: The Reflection of Human Perception. Then, as you can tell, I got back to Comedy of Errors! Things might be slow for a few more days as I manage to get to my usual speed, but it will continue without a hitch for a bit longer I am certain._

_And just because I love hearing from you all, who else has heard France's version of Marukaite Chikyuu? I am a traitor, loving it a bit more than America's, even though America's is so... American. (Except it should have had jazz in it, damn it! How much more American can you get?) But France sounds like he is trying to outdo everyone! Best thing since Pub and GO! which, by the way, I can write anything to._

_Thank you England, you had my muse all along._


	34. More Surprisingly, It Wasn't Mine Either

**We Were Walking Through The Snow When We Saw A Crying Girl**

**(Surprisingly It Was Not Your Fault)**

"It'll be, like, a late breakfast. Early lunch. Brunch! Yeah."

"Is it open?" Toris asked, with a light laugh. Why he was laughing was beyond Feliks, but Feliks did not care. Better to see him smiling and laughing then nursing the headache he had this morning. Feliks may not have gotten any information out of him about earlier, but Toris had not seemed to remember it either and that was the next best thing at the time anyway.

"It's always open unless they say so earlier! The thing we should, like, worry about is whether Feliciano is in! Keep this quiet, but he is, like, totally better at cooking than his brother."

Feliks hated Lovino. Well, maybe hate was too strong a word. He liked him better than Ludwig at the moment. Lovino had a great base, but he needed a lot of work. Feliks had no idea what Antonio could see in him otherwise, only the potential. But that seemed like too much work for the other. So Feliks was left with wondering what Antonio saw in Lovino all over again.

Whatever. Totally not the most interesting thing going on right now. That would be his Toris and meeting his other friend.

"Erm... right," Toris replied. Feliks was slightly distracted by the sight of Katyusha, leaning back against the building Alfred had deigned to hole up his ancient arcade games in, crying into her hands.

"Katty!" Feliks called, sauntering over with his hands on his hips. "It's too early in the morning to have, like, had a bad day! Spill it, girl."

"Feliks–" Toris cut himself off as Feliks turned his head towards him.

"Not now, Toris!" Feliks retorted, before thinking about it. "Oh, actually... Katty, this is Toris. Toris, Kat. Now Katty, tell Feliks what's wrong." Kat took a few deep breaths, but they were only followed by more crying and wiping of her face. "Oh my God, like, here," Feliks pulled out a handkerchief and handed it over.

"Th-thank you," Katyusha sniffed, wiping off her face with it.

"Now what have I told you?" Feliks frowned, folding his arms across his chest. "Crying just ruins your face! And you, like, have such a nice one! You shouldn't totally ruin it like that! What would Angus think?"

With that Kat hid her face into the handkerchief. Feliks felt something land on his shoulder. A quick look over showed Toris had put his hand there.

"Maybe... um, you should let her talk," Toris smiled weakly. Feliks wanted to retort, but thinking about it... Toris was right. Feliks pouted.

"Ivan told me stay away from Angus," Kat blew her nose. Toris finally released his shoulder.

"Well Ivan's just a big bully!" Feliks laughed, pulling her away from the wall. "But you know what? He totally won't do anything about it. If there's anyone Ivan won't, like, actually threaten it's you."

"I-Ivan?" asked Toris. Feliks mentally slapped himself. Toris had no idea who most people in town were! It really was not fair to keep him in the dark and all.

"Ivan Braginski. Kat's younger brother. Complete wacko, like... like everyone else in this town," Feliks filled him in. Toris had this oddest expression on his face, which admittedly made him look hilarious, but Feliks was a bit busy right now, _thank you_.

"In fact girl, the best thing you could possibly do to, like, protect Angus is get closer to him," Feliks wiggled his eyebrows. Kat's face was already slightly red, so his words had not caused any flush. "I mean, like, closer–"

"I think everyone knows what you mean," Toris pulled him back. Feliks slapped his hand off.

"But forget about that now," Feliks waved off Toris and turned back to Katyusha. "You should come and eat brunch with us Katty! It'll be, like, great! We're all totally going to Feliciano's place!"

He grabbed her hand (and Toris' hand for good measure) and pulled them along.

Today was going to be a good day!

* * *

_Notes:_

_Because Alfred is cool enough to have collected a bunch of arcade games. Arthur is not cool enough and therefore will not let them in the house. Two other points of interest: Kiku takes to adding to Alfred's collection, no matter how hard it is to find them and Arthur often takes Alfred's keys and plays the games._

_Hypocrite, but we all knew Arthur was cool on the inside – past his 'gentlemanly' exterior._


	35. Pop Is For Wussies

**Snap, Crackle, SNAP!**

Alfred usually did not mind welcoming himself into other people's houses. It was a small town of which he _personally_ knew everyone. It was not as if he was going to steal anything, that would just be not cool! But Arthur had made it clear that if he was to break into another house he would let Vash take him into the city and have him tried there. Alfred usually ignored Arthur's threats, but with this one he actually believed Arthur was being serious. Which is why Alfred found himself calling Antonio instead of just going to his house.

Even though it would be a lot more easy to just give him the ring then try and wait for him to pick up the phone and make sense.

"Hello? Antonio?"

Antonio's phone had to be broken. It would explain the fact he could not understand a word the other was saying. Alfred turned off his phone and frowned at it. He should call Gilbert or Ludwig and ask them to fix Antonio's phone, but he could wait until later in the day. Gilbert still getting over his hangover and so Ludwig was probably still watching him... that would be a horrible combination. If not funny to watch.

Alfred considered it, stopping outside the back of The Store.

"Alfred?"

"Yep?" Alfred turned about to see Yong Soo. Which was a bit of a surprise. He did not really see Yong Soo that often.

"I'm asking a favour of you!" Yong Soo demanded. Alfred gave him a thumbs up.

"Then go for it!"

"Pay me for helping you out with the truck until brother Yao is better!"

Alfred could just imagine Kiku's reaction right now.

_'Crush his spirit Alfred. Don't encourage him. The man is a freak.'_

Huh. The Kiku in his head seemed a great deal more cynical and evil than Kiku in real life. Alfred wondered whether Arthur was right. Maybe he was playing too many video games.

_No offense, Kiku, but you're a freak too. It's why I love you._ There was also the fact that Yong Soo, despite his usual energeticallyness, he seemed rather desperate.

"Okay!"

"Great!"

"See you next Wednesday at seven in the mornin'!"

"I'll be there!"

"Perfect!"

Alfred gave Yong Soo a wave as he walked off. _Weird man,_ he thought, taking a step backwards.

_**Crack!**_

_Whoops_, Alfred turned to see a frame, which had been propped up against the wall. Alfred nearly felt his heart plummet into his stomache, but then remembered that it was outside. Probably already going to be trashed.

With that in mind he felt much better.

He tried calling Antonio again, but with the same results. So instead he walked off calling Arthur. Because mom had to have some heart! At least to tell him why on earth Alfred was not allowed home at night.

"Mom?"

"Don't call me that," grumbled the voice on the other side of the phone. Alfred rolled his eyes. "And don't roll your eyes at me!"

Alfred again placed Arthur back on the top of the 'freaks who currently inhabit Hearth' list. The list had been staying remotely the same – containing about the entire population – but everyone seemed to be gaining a lot more points recently. "Can I come home now?"

"You done with Ivan already?"

"Now you're just being mean," Alfred sighed. "Why would I be with Ivan?"

"Are you still pulling this off?" Arthur exclaimed. "I'm already having to pull Maddox out of bed!"

"You do that everyday, mom."

"And you are being more annoying than usual! Call me when you are going to _stop it!_"

And Arthur hung up on him.

"He's being really touchy today, what the hell?" Alfred grumbled to his phone. Whatever. He would go see Kiku. Because Kiku did not mind if he just showed up at his house.

* * *

_Notes:_

_The phone was not broken, the truth is Antonio was just yelling at him in Spanish._

_Not that Alfred has not taken Spanish. First he wanted to take German and was getting lessons from Gilbert, but Arthur was afraid he would get some other ideas from Gilbert and cut off the lessons. Then Alfred wanted to take French, which for some reason nearly gave Arthur a heart attack and he made Alfred learn some Spanish. So Alfred knows Spanish. He would just appreciate it if people would slow down in speaking it to him so he could translate._

_Alfred now spends his time learning Russian so he can insult Ivan in the man's native language._

_'He did not really see Yong Soo that often.' At least, not since he had to save the man from his brother when his brother wanted to try out a new order of living at home. Yong Soo's brother is creepy. And as yet is nameless._

_I know energeticallyness is not a word. But applied to Korea and America, it should be._


	36. Which Just Sucks

**The Ability Of Not Being Alfred**

**(Stuck At Being Registered At 1% Completion)**

He was not Alfred. Matthew knew this. And Matthew felt like he was forgetting something big which could potentially help him out of all of this.

But Alfred never showed up last night. So either there was no such thing as Alfred and this entire town was mad, or something bad had happened to Alfred but no one knew it because they were all assuming Matthew was Alfred and so had no reason to be concerned yet. If all of this was true... Ah, screw it. Matthew was just certain Alfred was insane. So the fact he was not Alfred would never be listened to because Alfred probably said such insane things on his own anyway.

Matthew therefore had a plan.

Get out of Hearth. Sounded easy enough. His stuff was still in the inn. Just grab it and go. But he could not do that yet. He had to find his wallet. Which meant returning to the station again. Hopefully it was not on the train, because the train did not appear to come by often.

And he was stuck with Ivan because the man was intimidating and seemed insistent to stick around. Not that Matthew minded terribly, the guy was cute–

_Where did that come from, eh?_

Matthew insisted his brain stay on subject. But his brain usually did whatever it wanted. Matthew had never been a brain trainer. So he found himself thinking Ivan instead.

_For having told me straight off the bat he hated me... eh, hated Alfred, he's awfully nice._

"Arthur seemed in bad mood," Ivan straightened the scarf around his neck. If Matthew recalled, he was wearing that last night. Inside.

"I woke up and he was like that, eh," Matthew shrugged, bending over and packing some snow together. "As I told you, I have no idea what's going on in this town."

"And as I told you, I don't know vhat you're doing, but I'm not falling for it."

Alfred seemed to be notorious for messing with people. Matthew was not even going to try anymore. Just find his wallet, get his stuff, and walk to the next town if necessary.

"A... vhat are you doing?"

"Snowball," Matthew showed him. "Catch."

Ivan acted automatically and it fell apart right as it connected with his hand. Matthew could not help but laugh, because the look on Ivan's face said he should have seen that coming.

"I zought you'd never ask," Ivan suddenly broke out into a grin. "Especially after last time."

"After last time?" Matthew blinked, laugh falling from his lips.

"Vhen ve accidentally hit Vash?" Ivan said, as if that would be obvious. Maybe for Alfred. "Good zing knowing zere is no zing as outlawing right bearing snow."

"That would be a silly law, eh," Matthew shook his head. Ivan seemed to be packing a snowball of his own. And the way he was going about it–

Matthew decided not to risk it and dove behind a tree just as Ivan threw it at him.

Matthew did not know about this Alfred, but he spent a lot of time in the snow when he was younger. In fact, he was almost certain he could remember snowball fights with his brother. Not that anyone could call them 'fights' when they were that young, more like scuffles. Not that he really remembered them, he just remembered being warmed up inside afterward.

But he could completely _own_ his father at this. Not that saying so was much of an accomplishment. Or maybe it was. When he was seven. A better brag would be to say how he beat the entire hockey team.

Ivan could probably make up an entire hockey team.

That was not a fat joke.

Ivan did not have to be spot on though, a single hit by him would probably finish Matthew. Matthew could tell by the fact it hit the base of a tree and the tree shook.

Creepy.

What was creepier was Ivan trying to call him out while he was doing it.

"Come out, Alfred! I'll be easier on you sooner zan later!"

Super creepy. Yet strangely enticing.

Matthew decided that it was probably best to start big immediately instead of waiting to tire the other one out. Because Ivan was unlikely to tire out.

Matthew waited long enough for Ivan to come under the trees before he hit the branches. Ivan looked up in time to be covered by snow. Matthew inwardly cheered.

And was hit in the shoulder by a snowball.

"Ow!" Matthew hid behind the tree. "Hey, eh! That hurt!"

Ivan's head and upper torso were still above the snow, even with the pile now around him. "You don't play fair, I don't play fair!" It sounded largely childish.

And that was not another fat joke.

"What's fair? We didn't have any rules!" Matthew ducked as Ivan threw another snowball at him. He winced as he heard the crash of glass.

"Shit," Ivan was wincing as well, easily plowing right through the snow as Matthew backed up in his direction and away from whatever had been broken.

"Was that a window, eh?" Matthew looked back at him, right before having his shoulder grabbed.

"You vant to be blamed for it?" Ivan questioned.

"Not really," Matthew responded. He was going to suggest Ivan take responsibility, but decided he really did not want to suggest that with his shoulder in the other's grip.

"Zen start running!" Ivan grinned, heading off into the snow. Matthew heard someone shouting. Most likely from the house that had the snowball thrown at it.

"Wait up!" Matthew called after, starting to run as well. Considering he could break glass with a snowball, Matthew considered himself lucky his shoulder only stung. Unless it was broken and he did not know it.

In that way, it was like hockey. Which explained why he was running after Ivan instead of away, like a normal person would.

* * *

_Notes:_

_As soon as Vash figures out a way, he will make it illegal for Ivan and Alfred to bear snow in any form. Including plain water._

_And you want to know why he had to beat rest of the team team? Well maybe someday you will know. It has to do with being a teenager and the whole 'proving oneself' spiel. And no one questions Matty after either a) being beaten in a snowball fight by him or b) after being beaten by him during hockey where he becomes a bloodthirsty maniac._

_Anyone want a free laugh? DF informed me that reading the chapter titles on the side makes a funny conversation. Of which one of the participants is Alfred._


	37. I D'n't L'ke Th'ngs B'n' S' Pr'bl'm't'c

**Oh, J'st Gr't**

"I got all of the dust off of it," Tino told him. Berwald nodded, continuing to re-log the back room inventory. They really did have some strange things back here. "You sure you'll be all right by yourself? I won't be gone for long, but..."

"B'tter mys'lf than w' m' brothers 'r somethin," Berwald responded. Really, anything was better than when they came down to help out at the shop. At least, when Mathias came (even if he did manage to sell a lot while he was here). Maybe both Mangus and Hakon as well, but... Then again, Berwald preferred it just being him and Tino. There was no winning situation if that balance was upset.

But they owned a shop and other people came in. So Berwald just decided he would have to deal.

"I'll try and be back before Gupta shows up," Tino said. Berwald reached out and grabbed his hand before he walked by him. Tino paused, then turned around to kiss him. "Love you."

"L've y'."

Tino smiled and walked out, leaving Berwald to continue his task. Which Berwald did.

There was not as much thought to running a store as people thought. At least, there was not until people came in and bought things. That caused unnecessary need for thought in order to reorder everything. It was worth it though, he supposed.

The door opened and as there was no greeting Berwald figured out of the few people who were actually quiet in this town, it would have to be Gupta.

"H'llo."

Gupta bowed his head slightly. Berwald felt uncomfortable. Gupta was so quiet, he was... well, a freak really. Berwald knew he did not talk a lot, but that was because everyone else seemed to have problems hearing. Also, why talk so much? Gupta took that to a level beyond reason though.

Well, there was no need of being rude about it. Berwald would just have to deal with this as well. He was not exactly certain what he should do and came to the conclusion that the sooner he could make the transaction about the frame the sooner he could wait for Tino to come back and deal with the customers.

Berwald rose to his feet. "I'll g't th' frame... T'no j'st cleaned 't up f'r y'." With that he headed back to the back door.

It was when he raised his hand to the doorknob he heard the _**crack**_ from outside. Berwald stared at the doorknob for a moment before opening it and looking around.

He saw the back of Alfred's head, walking away. A bit more searching showed what the noise actually came from though. Not quite comprehending it, Berwald walked over and picked up the wooden frame. The patterning was really beautiful. Unfortunately, half of it was sort of smashed in, by what looked like a heel.

Berwald stood there for a few moments, remembering a few days ago that Vash told him to not to take the law into his own hands. So running after Alfred would be a bad idea.

Berwald returned inside.

"It's br'k'n," Berwald said. He was still holding it in hand, so Gupta could see the extent of the damage. He looked down at it. So did Gupta.

It was quiet.

"How?" came the first word face to face Berwald had received from him for quite a long time.

"Alfr'd."

Gupta turned his gaze back towards the frame again, but this time with a bit of confusion. Berwald could agree with that. Alfred was certainly a bit out there, but this was even beyond him.

"Should t'll Vash."

Gupta nodded. They both reached for the phone on the counter. They both retracted their hands. Then froze.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be gone more than five minutes!" Tino burst in, causing both of them to look towards him. "Ah! What happened to the frame?"

Berwald loved Tino. Enough he did not feel that guilty telling him and having him call Vash.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Mathias = Denmark._

_Mangus = Norway._

_Hakon = Iceland. Takes a while to decide these things, after a lot of fact checking. Well, not for Mathias. I took that name from the fact I think a lot of other people call him that. The other ones came from common names of rulers for their countries._

_Truth is only Mathias is Berwald's brother. The other two are cousins of some distance. But the bunch of them were raised close enough they all consider each other brothers. Well, when it is convenient. Otherwise, it is "I don't know that guy."_


	38. I'm Running Out Of Petals

**Tell Him, Tell Him Not, Tell Him...**

_I can do this! For my brother! Ve... what do I say?_

Feliciano usually never had problems figuring out what to say, even when things were important. But he had never seen his brother so heartbroken before. And Feliciano was going to make sure that this separation was only going to be a few days at the most, like they usually were. Even if it was usually over smaller things and lasted only as long as Lovino could keep himself locked up to stay mad.

Maybe Feliciano was wrong and it was just the same as the other times. Just in case it was not though... and because he had already promised himself he was going to do it.

So after about five seconds of indecision at Antonio's door Feliciano rung the doorbell.

The door was opened in a total of three seconds afterward.

"Lo– oh, Feliciano," Antonio gave him a weak smile, setting the phone in his hands aside on a shelf. "What brings you here? How's Lovino?"

"Terrible!" Feliciano told him honestly, put out by the truth of it. "He told me he broke up with you because you showed up at the party! Why were you there Antonio?"

"Ah... where are my manners? Come in," Antonio waved him in. Feliciano came in, relishing the smell of just made churros in the air.

"All he's doing is moping right now," Feliciano informed Antonio as he closed the door.

"He at the house?" Antonio asked. Feliciano nodded, then shook his head.

"He's at the restaurant part of the house, if that's what you mean," Feliciano shrugged. Antonio seemed to think about it.

"Well... he can't be that bad off if he's up to cooking, I suppose," Antonio said sadly, with a bit of a smile. Feliciano thought about that.

"Oops. I shouldn't have left him there by himself, should I?" he asked the elder one. Antonio stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. Feliciano easily made himself at home, sitting at the table and reaching for one of the cooling churros. Antonio sat across from him, resting his head in one of his hands. He did not reach for a churro, and as Feliciano chewed on his, he realized that it really _was_ as bad as he thought it was.

"Why were you at the party?"

"I had to get a ring."

"A ring?" Feliciano questioned, half of his mind wondering what a ring would be for and the other half wondering why there was no chocolate to dip with. But his mind brought him back on track. "A ring for what?"

Antonio stared at him for a moment, before removing his eyes to look at the table. "I am... I was going to ask your brother to marry me."

"_**What?**_"

Feliciano stood up and practically tackled him.

"Oh wow! Congratulations! That's great! My brother will be so happy! I mean, he may not seem like it, but you know how big of a romantic he is! He'll love this! What does the ring look like? But wait, you said you had to get it at the party?"

"Alfred picked it up for me," Antonio's voice was strangely hard, though he did pat the top of Feliciano's head. "But... well, I haven't gotten it yet."

"Oh!" It clicked in for Feliciano. "And that's why you couldn't tell him why you were there?" Antonio nodded. Feliciano opened his mouth to tell him he could fix this, but–

Feliciano did not know what to say.

Bring Antonio back to Lovino and have Antonio tell him everything. It would fix everything, it was simple, and they would not have even been broken up for an entire day, so it would almost be the same time as it usually was! But...

Lovino really was a big romantic, even though he was always scoffing at such things, even while they were happening and especially if they were happening to him. He would want the proposal to be a big deal. He would want to know he was getting asked by seeing the ring first, before actually hearing the words from Antonio.

Feliciano knew these things. He knew a lot about his brother – it was a part of being family, knowing this much about each other. Lovino knew exactly what Feliciano always wanted in a relationship.

Well, did not everyone? Feliciano never saw any reason to be secretive about it. Especially towards Ludwig. Best if Ludwig knew what Feliciano wanted right off the bat, right?

The look on Antonio's face told Feliciano Antonio knew exactly what the problem would be with both options.

"He'd understand if you just proposed to him anyway!" Feliciano announced it as soon as he thought about it. Antonio looked at him a bit strangely.

"You mean... propose to him even though we're broken up?"

"Why not?" Feliciano asked. "All you have to do is get the ring and go and do it! Lovino's not an idiot – he'd get that you wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for him!"

Antonio laughed, shaking his head. Feliciano stared into his face from where he was still standing next to him.

"Why not?"

Antonio opened his mouth, but it took a few moments for anything to actually come out. "That's a good idea, Feli. I'll... I'll just get the ring and propose to him."

"Yay!"

Heartbreak – 1, Feliciano – 1,000,000~!

* * *

_I did not respond to everyone's review, because FF suddenly __ killed my ability to do so. Hopefully that will be fixed, but just so all know why I have not responded to some of the comments, you know why._


	39. Exactly

**What?**

"Sorry, I meant to call before I came," Kiku said to Arthur as Arthur tried to keep Maddox sitting upright in his chair. "iMarcus has been prank calling iLudovicus..."

"Even through your cell phone?" Arthur stared at him. Kiku shrugged. "You should really take responsibility for these computers you make," the Englishman sighed, finally managing to put his younger ward in a balanced position which kept him from falling off the chair or face first on to the table. "But it's no trouble, Kiku. What can I help you with? I hope you don't mind if I..."

"Not at all," Kiku shook his head. Arthur headed off to the kitchen, where Kiku was certain something was burning. "You remember how you would tell everyone Alfred was off his pills when he acted too strangely, even though he is not taking anything?"

Kiku was practically regurgitating the same words Arthur would always use to excuse Alfred. Like the excuse would excuse some of Alfred's strange behaviors. Kiku did not know why Arthur bothered. There were people who had done much worse than Alfred. It was not as if people ever blamed Arthur if they became fed up with Alfred.

"Yes?" Arthur responded, loud enough for Kiku to hear. Not that Kiku would not have heard him if he were quieter. Kiku fidgeted with his fingers, before untangling them and catching Maddox before he fell off the chair.

"I – I think he might need these pills now," Kiku grunted, pushing the taller man back into his seat, only to have him fall off the other side.

"Oh please, Kiku," Arthur returned, not looking fazed by the situation. Setting it (what Kiku could only consider food because it had been brought from the kitchen) on the table, Arthur leaned over and picked Maddox up once more and settled him into his chair. "You know he isn't going to prescribe himself pills, even if it is illegal and therefore interesting to him."

True. But even Alfred would not risk his license like that. "No, really," Kiku shook his head.

"What?"

Kiku finally seemed to have Arthur's full attention. Not the polite kind the man gave when he was busy, trying to get things done, but not wanting other people to think they were bothering him. Arthur was an British gentleman, after all. Which meant he was well versed in bullshitting with class.

Kiku knew this well – Yao had taught him all about it. Just not in a British way.

But back to one of Kiku's greatest fears. Alfred was his friend. His best friend. A bit weird, but always dependable when Kiku really needed him. And always, consistently, Alfred. No matter what.

Now he was not. But now, some of the time now he was not. Alfred was only quiet when there was something wrong or when he was thinking. But that was few and far between. At least, that was what Kiku would always tease him about.

But now...

"I think Alfred has lost it."

"Join the club," Arthur grumbled, finally finished setting up the table for Maddox's breakfast.

"Pardon?" Kiku questioned. "You mean people get together because of this?"

"Er... no," Arthur shook his head. "It's a saying. Sorry."

"Ah... did you hear what I said?"

"...what?" Maddox asked, covering a yawn and beginning to choke down his breakfast. Choke down was really the only word for it. Or inhale. Kiku remembered Maddox telling him once the faster he could get it down the less of it he would have to taste and the less of it he would have to hear from Arthur.

"Eat your breakfast. This conversation does not involve you," Arthur said.

Maddox shrugged. "As you say, dad," he said in his typical monotone.

"Alfred is just being... difficult," Arthur sat down in a chair. "Hopefully it's a phase and not a new way of living. Are you sure you don't want any tea, Kiku?"

"No, thank you. I just think something... something is wrong with him."

Arthur picked up his tea and stared at the contents. "He just called me asking if he could come home. As if I stopped him or something," he snorted, taking a sip.

"Do you know where he is?" asked Kiku. He was beginning to have a headache. He was too old for this. Except not really.

"Out with Ivan," Arthur shrugged. Kiku tried to formulate any good reason for such a thing, but Arthur continued. "I figured he would burn out his annoying techniques on Ivan and be somewhat tolerable later."

"I... see," Kiku gave in. Maddox looked at him, as bored looking as ever.

"I don't think you do," he said. Arthur sighed. "Your tea cup is speaking to you," he turned his attention to Arthur. "It tells you its insides are burning."

Arthur ignored it and took a sip of his tea. Kiku had been invited to the house often enough to know this was completely normal.

But Alfred was not. Right now.

"Then I will go now, sorry for interrupting your day," Kiku excused himself. Alfred and Ivan together was a disaster waiting to happen. A more dangerous disaster than either of them on their own.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Ludovicus = Germania._

_After Kiku ran from the house which stole Marcus' personality, he tried again. Long story short, Ludwig and Gilbert's grandfather was stopping through town and... yeah. However, Ludo was more calm and quiet than Marcus, so Kiku did not move. The two of them have gotten along ever since. But iMarcus keeps calling the house at random times to bother him. Because the personalities sort of went that far. iLudovicus tries to ignore him. The key word: tries._

_Maddox wakes up at 11:00 AM. Only. Other people can try, but the man is practically a corpse until eleven o'clock, when he finally wakes up. There is nothing to do about it. Except Arthur tries. Tries to wake up him at least thirty minutes earlier than that. And fails. Got to give the man points for persistence._

_Maddox calls Arthur dad. And Alfred calls him mom. The household gets really confusing this way._

_And Kiku cannot use the 'old' excuse! Ah ha! In this story he is a real person and therefore not really old! Oh, burn!_

_Still cannot respond to views, but I am here to let you know I read them and are happy with them still. And eventually FF will let me say something.  
_


	40. The Entire Idea Gives Me A Headache

**When Feliks Is The Sanest Person In Town–**

**Nah, He Just Gives Some Of The Best Advice–**

**Wait. What?**

Lovino did not want to be here.

To be fair, it seemed like Angus did not want to either, but Lovino did not particularly care about that right now. All he knew was that Feliciano should be here doing this and if not the restaurant should be closed. Because Lovino sure as hell did not feel like cooking.

Which was just as good, because although Angus ordered he did not seem hungry. Lovino tried to concentrate.

_He thinks he was important, he thinks that without him I'll fall apart! Ha! Wouldn't he be surprised that I'm perfectly fine without him!_

Lovino held back a sob. The attempt failed.

"What's eating you?" Angus asked, as if he had been holding back in asking the question. Lovino tried to scowl, but failed at that too.

"None of your God damned business, that's what," Lovino shot back through the doorway, before moving out of sight. At least back here he could pretend to be doing what he was supposed to. Or actually do it. Lovino prepared the oven without any enthusiasm.

"Angus! Like, imagine seeing you here!"

Feliks. Great. Now he would get to hear about how everyone would rather want his _brother_ here. Lovino threw a knife at the wall. It stuck there. Lovino did not feel much better.

"Oh! Uh... hey there, Feliks. K-katyusha! Nice ta... see ya so soon!"

"Hello Angus..."

Katyusha. Annoying crybaby who reminded him of his brother. Except not as annoying and a bit more of a crybaby. Okay, she was pretty cool, when she was not crying and not around Ivan. Then again, a lot of people were cooler when not around Ivan.

"Toris, this is Angus. He's, like, really cool. Angus, this is Toris. I just reeled 'im into town. He'll be, like, totally living with me now! It's going to be so awesome!"

Lovino pulled the knife out of the wall.

"Nice to meet you, Angus."

"Same 'ere, Toris." Lovino moved further back so he did not have to hear, even if hearing a new person was a little interesting...

No, it did not interest him at all. It might have, at another time. Like yesterday. Before Antonio had to _mess up_ everything in his _life!_ Not to say it affected him that much. No, no. Lovino did not care at all about Antonio. It was not as if they had been dating for a long time! At least... not consecutively. How long had it been? A month? Whatever.

_Whatever. Three years._

Lovino cursed his traitorous mind. _Don't think about it!_

_Since I've been old enough for him to date, anyway._

_Shut up!_

_And I finally agreed._

When you are arguing with your own head, you should know either you have a particularly defensive conscious, or you have lost it. In Lovino's case, he lost it defensively.

But he was cooking. He should be thinking about the food. Even if he did not want to cook, did not want to be here, and did not care whether or not he messed the order up beyond recognition. Well, he cared about that. Last thing he needed was for people to complain about his cooking while _Feliciano_ was not here. Just because the other could cook _really_ well...

Antonio always told him he loved _his_ cooking best. Right before saying Feliciano's food was also good. But not as good.

"Just... damn it," Lovino wiped his eyes. He was not crying! He tried his best to concentrate on the food. Really, the least he could do (especially for a relative of Arthur) was to make something which did not look like it was made by an Englishman! He would never live it down!

Those thoughts managed to help him pull himself together enough to finish cooking and bring it out. Three more people to cook for, wonderful.

Katyusha was sitting with Angus, the both of them looking like they were in their world. Which was quite a feat, considering Feliks was at another table (with the man Lovino assumed was Toris) and talking very loudly. As Feliks did.

"I mean... if tha's all right with ya, o'course. I wouldn't..."

"No! I mean," Katyusha was fidgeting in her seat. "I'd love it, Angus. Really."

"R-really?" Angus stared at her in shock. Kat nodded, unable to look him straight in the eye. "Then... then it'sa date!"

"Here's your food!" Lovino snarled, slamming the plate down in front of him and heading back to the back.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lovino! What's, like, got your makeup running?"

Lovino wheeled around towards Feliks. "Unlike you, I don't _wear_ makeup!"

Feliks snickered (_and Lovino wanted to kill him_), stood up, and walked over to him. "Sweetie, no one would be wearing makeup with that many tears on their face."

"–The hell?" Lovino wiped off his face again. "It's just water, damn it!"

"Sure, and _I'm_ taller than Toris," Feliks rolled his eyes. Lovino turned to leave again, but Feliks grabbed his arm. And despite what Feliks looked like, he had a strong grip. Not as strong as Ivan, or Alfred, but then again no one had as strong a grip as either of them. Strong enough, at least. Enough to wallop Gilbert once. Of course, the high heels could have helped with that. "What's goin' down?"

"Nothing!" Lovino said sulkily, staring at the ground and wishing he could pull away. Feliks did not seem to like that answer, as he did not let go.

"I take it your brother isn't around for you to, like, rant on," Feliks said, a bit more quietly.

Lovino did not answer. It was a bit harder to hide now, the tears. If he tried to wipe them off, Feliks would know. If he left them, Feliks would know. _Dammit._

"Is this about Antonio?" Feliks asked. Lovino jerked his arm away. It hurt, but Feliks had loosened his grip, so he had managed to get his arm back. "I'll take that, like, like a yes."

Lovino went back into the kitchen. The sound of the door swinging meant Feliks followed him. "Customers aren't allowed in the kitchen!"

"Did you break up with him again?"

"Shut up!"

"No, _you_ shut up." Lovino turned around. He was going to kill Feliks, right here, right now, he did not care. Feliks stood there nonchalantly, arms folded across his chest. "You're actually hurt this time, Lovino. That's, like, different. So I'll assume something actually happened."

"No shit something happened!" Lovino shouted. Feliks put a hand up towards him, blocking his head from Lovino's view.

"Oh my God – didn't hear that," Feliks said. Lovino stared, trying to understand what the hell that was. "You know," Feliks lowered his hand, "If you're prepared to get, like, so close to someone that you will totally get hurt by them, you'd better be, like, prepared to work on it on your own end. Having something like that already took so much work, you, like, might as well work a bit more on it to solve the problem."

"Work... on it?" Lovino asked, trying to comprehend through the 'like's what Feliks actually said. "_I_ have to talk to him again?"

"Uh... yeah," Feliks drawled, nodding curtly.

"Go away," Lovino said, without any real conviction. And strangely, Feliks listened to that.

"I won't make you, like, cook while yer feeling so down," Feliks called back as he left the kitchen. Leaving Lovino alone.

_So close to someone they can hurt you..._

Lovino hated the thought, but Feliks was right. He would have to talk to Antonio.

_But not now. I don't think I could do it now. Maybe tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. I can talk to him tomorrow. I'll tell Feli, he'll _make_ me go tomorrow. I have to do this._

Lovino wiped off his tears.


	41. Of Course Ivan Would Think That!

**Because Alcohol Solves Everything!**

"I said you shouldn't have run away! You should go back and take responsibility!"

Ivan groaned. _Now_ this was starting to sound a bit more like Alfred. Except he should be talking more about 'the right thing' and being cool and whatnot... and Alfred often just tried to drag him when he thought he should be somewhere else. Right now Alfred was just walking behind him with his arms crossed, lecturing him about a window.

Did not matter. Ludwig could fix it himself, no big deal.

"Are you listening, eh?"

"No, I stop listening vhen your mouz stay open for five seconds," Ivan told him honestly. Alfred sighed.

"You make no sense, eh," Alfred stopped. Ivan kept walking for a few more steps before he realized that Alfred was really just going to stop there. He was considering just ditching him, but Ivan had not figured out what was going on with him yet and he really did not want to go back to thinking about his other problems yet. Alfred was good for one thing, he was a very good distraction.

Ivan turned around to see Alfred was walking away.

"Vhere are you going?" Ivan demanded, walking after him.

"This way," Alfred said, as if he was not certain. "What does it matter to you, eh?"

"Uh..." Ivan tried to think of something quickly. He could not say he wanted to spend time with the other, because that would be a lie and even Alfred would not bother to think about that one. Not that Ivan really needed a good excuse. He would be following him around anyway and if it actually was bothering Alfred, then that was good! Ivan liked bothering him. "Because it does."

Alfred should say something stupid here. Should. Alfred was glaring at him, pink tinge on his cheeks. Because it was cold, of course. Alfred never was able to cope as well as he could with the cold. Even if he had gone so far without complaining.

"I don't understand you at all," Alfred said, but still walking off. Ivan frowned and followed.

Now that the fog of the vodka was gone... Ivan's train of thought was cut off just as Alfred was. By Gupta, of all people.

"Excuse me," Alfred smiled, trying to move around Gupta. Gupta reached out and grabbed his sleeve, stopping him. Ivan, curious, made his way up behind Alfred.

"You broke it," Gupta said plainly, returning his arms in front of him. The man was obviously freezing, but doing his best to stay still.

"Eh?" Alfred asked. Ivan stared down at the other, obviously making Gupta uncomfortable. Ivan decided to stop it, Gupta was an okay guy. Just boring.

"Vhat did he break?" Ivan asked.

"The frame."

"What frame?" Alfred asked, bewildered. Ivan laughed. _And he was just getting at me for breaking things!_

"Vhen vas zis?" Ivan questioned, nudging Alfred with his gloved hands. Alfred stared at him, confused. Gupta was rubbing his hands together, eyes still on Alfred.

"Just now."

"I didn't!" Alfred protested, looking towards Ivan, probably for backup. The problem with that was that Ivan could give him the perfect alibi. But Ivan sort of hoped it was true. Anyway, Gupta was not the type to blame randomly.

But then Alfred said something which reminded Ivan the man was acting completely insane today.

"It must have been Alfred, eh!" Alfred turned towards him, pleading. Ivan was seriously freaked out by this point. "I was with you, right Ivan?"

"Zen he must be mistaken," Ivan tried, wondering why he was bothering. Why did Alfred keep trying to say this? Was he really _insane_? Like Natalia-insane? Oh... even worse, Ivan-insane? After all, everyone knew what Alfred looked like. It was not as if he could really use that excuse and really think he could get away with it!

"Or _Alfred_ broke it!"

Or Alfred was trying to tell him something without actually saying it out loud and Ivan was missing it. Big time.

_What the hell..._

"Okay, I've had enough. Time to go." Ivan picked up Alfred, expecting to be viciously assaulted. For some reason though, all Alfred did at first was push at his shoulder.

"Hey! Let me go, eh!"

Gupta rose a hand to catch his attention, or stop him, or something. Ivan just gave him a shrug. There was really no point in trying to get something out of Alfred right now. At least... there was no point in _Gupta_ trying. Ivan was going to. And succeed. And Ivan knew the perfect way to do it.

"He'll talk later, vhen he's... different. Or somezing."

"Put me down!" Alfred struggled. No where near as violently as he usually did when Ivan picked him up. Not that Ivan picked him up that often. At least, never to just carry him. Picking him up to throw him was a common occurrence. Vash usually stopped him from the throwing though.

Best way of getting something out of Alfred – flood it out.

Hopefully Elizaveta would not bar them from the bar because of the combination they made.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Yes, Vash was called. But Vash is just one person and they are not trying to make a big deal out of it. The town is great at owning up to what they have done, or at least coming in quietly. So Gupta was just trying to get things solved quicker by asking Alfred what the hell._


	42. At Least, Ludwig Isn't Certain

**Feliciano Always Says The Things You Aren't Sure Whether Or Not You Want To Hear**

Ludwig simply wanted to hurt something. Or at least lock himself up in his house where no one could bother him. Unfortunately, something like that was always impossible. This time even more then before. Out of every season to have a broken window... did it have to be the one with snow involved?

Because somehow snow broke his window. Ludwig just wanted to forget about it. Except it was cold. And he wanted retaliation.

The style of blond hair on the person running away gave him his culprit. So after cleaning up the glass and covering the broken window until later when he would replace it, Ludwig went to tell Vash that he was about to clean Alfred's clock.

And not literally. He fixed that stupid clock last week.

"_**LUDWIG!**_"

Feliciano could shout _so_ very loud when he wanted to. Ludwig winced. How come when he shouted loudly people thought he was angry or frightening, and yet Feliciano always sounded as if he was going to hug you? Maybe because when Ludwig shouted he often was mad – and Feliciano always was going to be hugging someone.

At least it had made finding him (his next task) easy and on the top of his priority list (again).

Feliciano was always on the top of his list of priorities, whether he wanted him there or not. Ludwig had long since stopped minding. After all, to mind would mean to have to do something about it and the only way to stop Feliciano from bothering him so much would probably be to break up with him. Ludwig (after thinking about all of the possibilities) rightfully decided he would rather die than part with the other.

Literally. Ludwig never really felt like doing something he would not want to follow through with.

Ludwig managed to spot the direction of impact and turn in that direction before Feliciano rammed into him, arms wrapped around him instantly as if there were super powered magnets forcing him to.

"Hello, Feliciano," Ludwig sighed, resting his chin on the other man's head, hugging him in return.

"Never ask me to marry you!"

"Ah – eh – vha–" Ludwig spluttered, lifting his head up and staring down at the man who seemed quite content to bury himself into his chest.

"There's too much drama!"

_And heavens knows I have enough drama loving you,_ Ludwig continued to stare down at him. Despite all of the insane things his boyfriend has said, Ludwig was never prepared for them. But this one sort of cut the cake.

Or missed the flowers. Which was a bit more appropriate considering the situation.

Ludwig still had no idea what was going on. Then again, that was normal. Ludwig did not know why he could not just come to some sort of agreement with himself that these things should never bother him as much as they did.

"Vhat... vhat brought dis on?" Ludwig pulled back from Feliciano so he could see his face. Feliciano's tongue stuck out of his mouth as if he had just run a mile. Or a block, which was more likely the case and just as likely to cause this reaction.

"Well... stuff," Feliciano stayed limp in his arms. Ludwig returned his arms to their former position so Feliciano would not fall on to the ground.

Ludwig decided not to ask.

"And we're always going to be like this, ve?" Feliciano looked up at him. "So what would be the point in changing anything?"

"You tell me," Ludwig stated. Feliciano sighed, as if Ludwig had missed something. _Not that I'm aware of..._

"I love you, Ludwig!"

Ludwig kept his mouth shut in order to fight back his laugh and so could not stop his smile. Ludwig said nothing, just bent over enough so he could kiss him.

Ludwig forgot about his window.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Ludwig never calls Vash's household. Or Kiku's. Because talking to his grandfather or his boyfriend's grandfather, when they are not actually their grandfathers... well, I hope everyone else finds that weird. Hearing Marcus' voice (not really coming from Marcus) asking how Ludwig is treating Feliciano would be creepy to me, at least._


	43. But Someone Had To Know Eventually

**Speaking Of Things You Didn't Want To Hear...**

Arthur made himself some more tea. If only tea was the cure for headaches, Arthur would be set. No amount of advil would make his headaches go away, unless he overdosed and died. Arthur could not believe Alfred had told him to try more organic remedies (always full of suggestions galore). Just because Alfred knew what he was talking about–

Arthur hated it. It almost was painful to be proud of him. Arthur knew he should kick Alfred out of the house, but could not bare to think about it. Which explained where all of the papers for some of the empty houses of Hearth and some for the nearby city went. Alfred_ really_ did not have to be looking at those! No...

"You done already?" Arthur asked as Maddox went gliding towards the front door. He stopped, turning around to face him.

"All finished and waiting for correction," he said simply. "I was going to go outside and dig holes in Yao's lawn."

"No, you're not," Arthur rubbed his forehead. Maddox shrugged and Arthur knew he had fallen right into another one of Maddox random pitfall statements. Really, like Maddox would say something and actually do it. Well, when it was in the area of making trouble anyway.

"I was going to go see Muhammad," Maddox admitted.

"Hands," Arthur commanded and Maddox held them up so Arthur could see past the sleeves. No fireworks. Arthur nodded. "Try and be back for dinner. Which is at six."

"I'll cook tonight," Maddox suggested. Arthur stared at him for a few moments, trying to discern whether or not this was a joke. Deciding that it was not, in fact, Maddox making fun of him in any way, he gave the teen a grateful one armed hug.

"I wish Alfred was like you," he said, feeling slightly less stressed.

"No you don't," Maddox responded. "You barely keep the house together as it is. Two of either of us would upset the balance of life."

"Don't I know it," Arthur sighed, letting Maddox go and sipping his tea. "No frog legs."

Maddox actually frowned at that. "You don't have to eat them."

"I don't want to see them," Arthur retorted as Maddox opened the door and took a few steps outside.

"Maddox! Long time no see!"

Arthur wished he could close the door, but Maddox still had a foot inside it. Brian made his way up the steps quickly, followed by Roy, who paused to ruffle up Maddox's hair. Maddox made no move to fix his hair, but his eyes narrowed slightly.

"'ello, sis," Brian grinned. Arthur did his best to ignore him, though even tempting the thought was a stupid idea at this point.

"Bye, Kong," Roy said. Arthur scowled at the use of Maddox's former name. Maddox made a show of looking behind him for someone and not seeing anyone.

"I'm sorry, I almost forgot," Maddox said to the three of them. "Vash asked me to spread the word. There is a Francis Bonnefoy in jail and if someone knows of him and wanted to pay his fine they were to go see him," Maddox shrugged. "The law here makes no sense."

Actually, Arthur only heard '_the law'_ before he choked on his tea. Roy said something and closed the door as Brian hit his back to help him regain the ability to breathe.

"_**Francis?**_" Arthur shrieked.

"Aye," Roy whistled.

_That stupid, horrible, wretched frog who should have just died a stupid, horrible, wretched death before I met him and now that bloody git is here?_

Arthur did not even want to think about it. He sat down at the table.

"Really, 'oo doesn't know o' a Francis Bonnefoy?" Brian questioned, sitting down across from Arthur.

"Vash, obviously," Roy sat down on Brian, gaining a muffled protest. "Bu' tha's understandable. 'e an' Heidi haven't been 'ere _tha'_ long."

"Bu' the question is," Brian shoved Roy off of him, "'oo will actually bail him out. O'er than Antonio or Gilbert. Bu' Antonio seems a wee bit preoccupied lately."

He wanted to get married. At least, that was what Arthur had been led to believe. Ha! Stupid idea. Marriage only made things worse.

"I don't care," Arthur responded, which somehow made the other two laugh. "What?"

"Ye care, lit'l brother," Roy reached over and ruffled up his hair. Arthur tried in vain to smack the hand away but it was too late. "Do ye want us ta git rid o' 'im?"

Arthur rubbed his forehead again. Francis was here. That meant nothing. He did not have to see him, he did not have to care, he did not... _fuck._ Arthur groaned.

"No. Because getting rid of him would mean you would have paid his fine first," Arthur said. Brian and Roy laughed again.

"Didn't think 'bout tha'," Roy grinned.

"Ye gonna see 'im?" Brian asked. Now that was a question.

"No," Arthur responded immediately. Brian shrugged.

"I think it's time fer more tea," Roy picked up Arthur's cup and headed into the kitchen.

"Sure, just make yourselves at home," Arthur grumbled.

"Well, if yer going ta offer!" Roy called back.

Arthur had been doing so well. Had not even thought about him since... well, since he had to warn Maddox no frog legs for dinner. But before that... Arthur realized trying to liberate his mind was simply condemning it. Still it was a surprise! Why would Francis every come back here? It was the reason Arthur decided to return to this town, because Francis had often said such a small town was cozy, but he much preferred being able to meet people.

If _people_ meant the cretins he would flirt with, it was true enough.

But Arthur did not have to see him. Did not even have to go close enough for Francis to know he was here. Still, Arthur felt as if he was missing something.

The realization hit Arthur like the brick the author spoke of in the first chapter. Though he did not squawk.

_Matthew._

"Where ya goin'?" Brian asked as Arthur ran out the door.

_No wonder he said he wasn't Alfred! It was because he wasn't!_

"Out!" Arthur shouted back.

_And I yelled at him... oh, I hate myself!_

"Hasn't grown up a bit," Brian rolled his eyes. Not that Arthur could see that, or hear him, as he was already out of the house.

_They look so similar – no excuse! Idiot, idiot!_

"Matthew! Alfred!"

* * *

_Notes:_

_Arthur has done it! So many people thinking it would be either Ivan or Kiku... Needless to say the entire town has been rather dense about this, but really that is the entire plot. We have to give Arthur a bit of credit though – he never expected to see his ex nor the other child again. As much as he probably wished he could have taken Matthew with him, I can imagine Matthew was a little angel and Alfred... well, was Alfred._

_Looking back at it, Roy and Brian seem a bit like the mafia. "Want us ta git rid o' 'im?" That is family for you (or at least mine), willing to act like the mafia for your happiness. The difference is Brian and Roy would probably do it. So more like the mafia then you knew!_

_You can probably tell Alfred loves his uncles. More fun than his mom any day. But that was because they thought they did not have to pay the hospital bills. Except they did. Hell if Arthur would ever let them let Alfred fall off a roof and not pay for it._

_Over two hundred reviews? I am so very glad that this story has been so enjoyed. And only ten more chapters left, I believe. Thank you all so much!  
_


	44. Ivan Should Not Be Exempt From This Rule

**Most Prescriptions Say:**

**DON'T Take With ALCOHOL**

This was a very good idea. If they had not done this, Ivan would have never asked the question.

"So... you're not really Alfred?"

"No, eh."

"Okay," Ivan took another sip of his vodka. If he was not as drunk as he was, he would never have accepted the answer.

Enough money to pay for the haze of alcohol to cover up yesterday again and to get Elizaveta to promise to leave them alone unless she heard something break. Ivan was not in a mood for breaking things. He did not know about Alfred.

Or not-Alfred. Or whoever. Ivan could not believe it, but he felt less like arguing the point right now. Alfred was requiring a bit of incentive to drink. Ivan just wished he would. Whoever it was, anyway. Whoever it was would likely pick a fight with him while drunk and Ivan almost wanted the excuse to pummel him.

"You... aren't going to ask, are you, eh."

"Ask vhat?"

But all that came to mind was Toris.

"I never meant it," Ivan slurred into his glass. "And I know I didn't. But he never did, I suppose."

"Who?"

"Toris."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend. Or ex. My ex-boyfriend."

Alfred stared at him for a bit, as if appraising him. Ivan stared back, wondering what was suddenly so interesting. Alfred's eyes looked different. Probably because he was not Alfred.

Funny, that.

"Ex?"

"I zought I told you go away," Ivan glared at Elizaveta. She gave a slight smile from the doorway and disappeared again.

"Eh... whaaat happened?"

"She came back," Ivan said moodily. The other shook his head.

"I meant with... Toris and... and... yoo?"

"It's not important," Ivan rubbed a gloved finger against the counter. "It just vent vrong. And if he doesn't vant anyzing doing vith me... zat's fine. I'd like being friends vith him again, I miss him."

"Well... I'm sure yoo both will work something out," he said hesitantly.

"How?" Ivan grumbled. Alfred seemed to think about it for a moment, sipping at his glass.

"Time heals all, or something. My papa said... something like that, eh," he shrugged.

"Toris has moved on," Ivan agreed. "He has new boyfriend now. I'm happy for him. I just... Maybe if I could show improvement in some vay... obvious, I suppose... zen he vould realize zat at least I have grown up."

Alfred stared up at him again. Ivan wondered what was going on in his head. Alfred had only had one! He had not drunk nearly enough to be drunk! But wait...

Not Alfred. Damn, he kept forgetting that. The vodka was probably at fault. But Ivan was preferring the day with the haze and so kept drinking. Not-Alfred was leaning against him, nearly falling out of his own chair. After only one glass. Light weight.

"I think you'll be fine, eh, eh," Not-Alfred told him. "There's pleenty of... fish or something."

"Fish?" Ivan questioned.

"Something eelse paapa... said," Not-Alfred snorted.

"Your papa seems very smart," Ivan said conversationally. The saying sounded familiar. Like something Arthur said to Alfred when he refused to tell Kiku about his feelings.

"Soome... eh... times," Alfred retorted.

Wait, so why was Alfred talking to him about fish?

"And if yoo... eh... wanted to hook something–someone... someone... it shouldn't be haard, very haard at all, eh."

"Are you drunk?" Ivan asked, looking at Alfred's glass. "Because if you are right now, I vant vhat you have."

"I don't drink... much, eh," Alfred stared at his glass. "Yoo can haave it. I think. I don't think I waant it, eh. I need to find my waallet. Get it 'foore I forget I am going. I'll miss yoo when I'm gone though, eh. You're interesting. An' cute. Which gives you one leg up on the... those girls I daated at... that place."

_'Vhat?'_ is what Ivan meant to say, but instead he ended up checking Alfred over.

Not-Alfred. _Not-_Alfred. This guy. Alfred. What?

Ivan was not certain. But what he was certain about was that Alfred tasted like brownies. And they were both sliding off the chair.

But he really did not care.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Matthew does not have a head for alcohol. Because he did not spend his high school and college years drinking, he spent them smoking pot. Sometimes._

_Leave it up to a drunk Ivan to believe Matty is not Alfred and yet not ever ask him for his name. And then forget he believed Matthew was not Alfred. Oh boy, for this reason alone this was a hard chapter to write._

_Excuse my attempt at writing a drunk Canadian. I was tired and confused and just putting in anything to make him seem really drunk. Well, at least progressively. Over time._


	45. Though It Really Is Not Anything New

**Wherein An Austrian Becomes Slightly Confused**

"Edelstein."

"Zwingli," Roderich responded calmly. He could have simply pretended not to hear the other and enter Elizaveta's, but that would be rude. And Vash was rather more likely to respond just by repeating his name louder. Vash would have known he was ignoring him. Roderich decided being pleasant about this was the best way around this.

Plus it bothered Vash a lot more than being rude did.

"Have you seen Alfred?" Vash cut to the chase. Which was nothing new. Roderich tugged at his coat sleeve.

"I must say I have not, is there a problem?" Oh, the question was innocent enough. Roderich knew Vash would not be asking him as such if there was not a problem. Vash knew Roderich knew this. Vash hated it when Roderich spoke the obvious, even though the man loved having absolute facts given to him. Just not facts he already knew.

"Nothing so trivial as to say." _To you._ Roderich frowned.

"Then I hope you can find him before its lack of triviality destroys something."

Vash gave him a curt nod and walked off. Roderich headed inside. It was early enough, he was hoping that Elizaveta was not busy.

She was the most gorgeous woman he had ever met in his life. Absolutely a divine being from above. He could not ask for a better conversationalist, for a more wonderful time spent than with her. Certainly he had made friends in this strange town, but _she_...

Oh, what he would give to be able to set up a small dinner just for the two of them and ask her if he could stay.

There was no one downstairs. Not even Erin, but as Roderich did not recall seeing the strange man this morning he assumed he was still passed out from the previous day. "Elizaveta?" he called, moving to look into the back. As there was no response Roderich headed for the stairs. Maybe she was out...?

Then he saw her, peering into one of the guest rooms, door opened just a crack. "I... I don't know whether I am fascinated or horrified," she said quietly, to herself. Roderich peeked over her shoulder to see what was causing the sounds he–

_Oh my–_

"I would hope horrified, my dear!" Roderich backed away. Elizaveta shut the door, turning around with her back against it almost instantly.

"It's not what it looks like!" she gasped, then swallowing. Roderich wanted to ask what it was supposed to look like, but the flush on her cheeks gave it away.

Roderich was not certain what he thought of that.

"Those two would sooner beat each up as look at each other! I thought that... well," Elizaveta turned her head back towards the door, as if she could see through the wood. Roderich agreed with that. Ivan and Alfred... well...

"It is none of our business," Roderich cleared his throat, trying either to process what Elizaveta said at first more or forget completely about it. "Especially... well... excuse me."

"No, wait! Roderich!" Elizaveta called after him, but Roderich ascended the stairs quickly to his room.

He was not going to ask why she was even considering fascination. He was not going to ask. It disturbed him greatly. He was not going to ask.

_Oh my God._

And so he played the piano. No better way to vent out emotions than that. He heard Elizaveta's footsteps stop outside the door.

Increasing his volume to forte, she did not come in. Roderich was instantly regretful she did not.


	46. Except When You Don't

**Play Your Tiles Right**

"_Matthew!_"

Muhammad leaned slightly back in his chair towards the open window. He could just barely hear it, but though the name sounded unfamiliar, the voice did. Yao had been staring at his tiles for a long time now and Muhammad had wondered why he had agreed to this game.

Maddox rather looked like he was thinking the same thing. Yao sometimes did as well, but that was because of their fourth player.

"You're taking forever Yao!" Yong Soo complained, dropping his chin into his hands as his elbows were propped up on the table.

"You don't rush this game, aru!" Yao scowled.

"You can't very well rush inanimate objects, so it doesn't matter," Maddox shrugged.

"Speaking of inanimate objects," Muhammad kept an ear open, wondering whether his mind had deceived him, "I'm surprised you agreed to this, Maddox."

"Kong," Yao corrected. Maddox did not react. Muhammad ignored the correction and continued. Yao would never accept that Maddox changed his name.

"...considering how close you have become to Vash lately."

"Vash can't stop me from playing mahjong," Maddox blinked.

"Vash won't know what we're doing, aru," Yao retorted, discarding a tile.

"_Alfred!_"

"All right, I know I am not hearing things," Muhammad stood up. Yao spluttered and covered his tiles as Muhammad moved towards the window and stuck his head out.

"_Matthew!_"

_I thought he was calling Alfred,_ Muhammad hummed slightly, finally spotting the figure of Arthur, who was running down the street.

"What is it? What is it? Muhammad?" Yong Soo questioned from behind him, popping up near his shoulder.

_If he's calling someone that does not exist... he must be drunk_. Muhammad sighed. He did not understand why some people would get themselves so inebriated. But Arthur usually did not go everywhere when he was drunk, he usually just cried about some Frenchman and complained about Alfred and Roy and such. Muhammad decided Arthur must be beyond drunk.

"Yao, a question."

"For... _me_, aru?" Yao sounded shocked. And pleased. Of course, Muhammad was asking for his opinion, which was rare, but Muhammad was just going to make certain of something before he acted.

"If you came across, I don't know, a nearly insane person who might be a threat to others, what would you do?"

"A... what?" Yao questioned.

"I would invite them home," offered Maddox.

"You don't have a choice, really," Muhammad informed him.

"I would try and change the situation so they would not be able to harm anyone, but you haven't really given me enough information to go on, aru."

"I'll do that big brother!" Yong Soo suddenly ran out the door.

"Wa–" Muhammad stopped himself and looked out the window again. He had to see this.

"What is he talking about, aru? What are you looking at?" Yao demanded. Maddox joined him, because his leg was not broken and therefore it was easier for him to move. Muhammad could just hear Yao grinding his teeth.

"Is that da... d." Maddox finished the end of his last word (which was no longer a question) just as it seemed Yong Soo strangled him or something. Muhammad left the room to go outside.

"And what do you think you just did, young man?" Muhammad demanded.

"Chloroform, see? Smell!" Yong Soo lifted the cloth for him to confirm. Muhammad quickly backed away.

"I'll take your word for it," he gave the Korean a friendly smile and went to pick Arthur up. Not exactly what Muhammad had in mind, Yong Soo was definitely crazy, but Muhammad was definitely fine with Arthur being unconscious. The man deserved it. Oh, and he was probably drunk out of his mind, so that was a good reason too.

Though the fact Yong Soo just seemed to carry chloroform around with him was a slightly disturbing thought.

Maddox met him at the door, staring at Arthur as though he had never seen him before.

"I'll take it he was very tired after running so far," Maddox said. It was probably meant to be a question, but Maddox had not allowed his monotone to flux slightly for it to sound like one. The man was an enigma, truly. Muhammad was fine with that. He was raised by both Yao and Arthur and had spent plenty of time with Alfred, Yong Soo, and Kiku. Muhammad was amazed the man was calm and sane.

"What on earth, aru!" Yao exclaimed, staring with horror at Arthur's unconscious body. "What did you–"

"Chloroform!" Yong Soo cheered, holding the cloth up for Yao to smell. Yao batted his hand away.

"When Arthur's so drunk he is running and yelling in the streets... it's for the best," Muhammad shrugged.

"But he's not..." Maddox began to say, but Yao suddenly looked like he had the best idea in the world. Which Muhammad translated to something was about to be said that was very stupid. The man seemed only capable of saying intelligent things when he was calm.

"Kong, you can stay here, aru!"

"Um..." Maddox glanced from Arthur to Yao slowly.

"You'll make him so happy," Muhammad told him, "that either he'll keel over dead, or his leg will miraculously heal!"

"You," Yao pointed at him, "shut up. Come on–"

"I'll do it on one condition," Maddox said, standing up straight. Yao looked expectant. "You have to call me Maddox. And it's only going to be tonight, you're not fooling me."

"Done deal," Muhammad said. Yao scowled.

Muhammad was against violence, but chloroform was not exactly violent. And Arthur always deserved what was coming to him.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Gambling is illegal in Hearth, thanks to DF reminding me of that option. And as mahjong is a gambling game... Poor Vash really cannot keep up with the entire town of miscreants._

_Yes, Muhammad has some grudges against Arthur. And by some I mean a lot. Not all were Arthur's fault, but a lot of them were. Muhammad has his reasons._

_Because I love you all, I give you another chapter today. Plus, since the entire story is practically done, I do not feel pressured if I put up a second chapter up in a day. I have a poll up on my profile, so if any of you feel like wandering over there, it will give you the opportunity to decide for me what I will be writing next.  
_

_End of the second day! The third, and last, day will be starting tomorrow! Thank you all for reading!_


	47. My Way Of Calling Ivan An Idiot

**And This Is One Of The Reasons Drinking Is Bad**

It had been a very long time since he had been this warm in the morning. It was a very comforting feeling, as if he had someone lying next to him. Which is when Ivan realized he actually did have someone lying next to him.

"Vhat..."

Ivan sat up, realizing he was not in his bed. Of course, as he was not even in his room, that was a good thing. He would hate to have found himself in his bed in a room he did not recognize. Not that any of that was the point. Ivan blinked a few times and looked at his left.

Alfred. Ew. Why was he in a bed with Alfred?

And the next thing Ivan realized was that he was not wearing anything.

Neither was Alfred, actually. Wait...

Alfred.

He slept with Alfred. And that was only putting it nicely.

Ivan wanted to kill something. Preferably Alfred. Or himself, but preferably Alfred. He glared over at the other, but he could not keep it up for long. Something was different about the other.

Plus, Ivan did not trust himself to touch him again.

Ivan fell out of the bed and scooted towards the wall. He managed to find his pants and scarf along the way.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." Ivan rubbed at his forehead. He was shaking and usually he would amount that to an overdose of pills, but considering what had just happened Ivan was pretty sure a panic attack fit right in.

_I would never, not even drunk. Not with Alfred. No no no. It's Alfred. I _hate_ him._

Ivan considered himself at least not in the realm of insanity to engage in any sort of hate-sex. And this was the sort of thing he really was disappointed that he was proved wrong in. Just because Toris came back to town did not mean he should go on an entire freak out session! Especially if it ended up with him sleeping with Alfred!

Though it was a bit late to berate himself about that. Ivan tried not to scream.

And Kiku. He and the Japanese man were not friends, but as Ivan had been trying to be _better_, he was at least not enemies with the other. At least, not until now when he slept with the man he wanted to be his boyfriend. Kiku was likely to be a little upset.

When Kiku was upset he poisoned the food in someone's larder and waited for them to be in a lot of pain before mentioning he knew of a cure. At least, that was what had happened to Yong Soo at one time.

He bumped right into a suitcase. Which Ivan suddenly wondered why it was there. Why would Alfred have a suitcase? A suitcase almost made it look as though he were... travelling? Was he forgetting something? He had certainly forgotten last night.

Well, most of it. Ivan was pretty sure he would have to drink some more alcohol to forget the rest of it. It was Alfred. He could not believe it. Out of everyone in the town, Alfred would be the last one he would want to sleep with.

Well, except for Yong Soo. And Lovino. And all of the women. And some other people. But the point was Alfred was not on the 'it's okay!' list.

Ivan peered into the bag, moving the zipper slightly to help in that effort. Clothes. Stuffed polar bear? Travel toilet supplies...

Was Alfred planning on going somewhere?

"Good riddance," Ivan grabbed his shirt and coat. He could only find one sock, and both of his gloves were missing, but jamming his feet into his boots all he could care about was getting as far away from Alfred as possible. And then maybe set himself on fire. Yes, that would certainly rid himself of any evidence from the previous night.

Except it would sort of hurt. Fire tended to do that. Ivan let out a shuddering breath and ran out of the inn.

* * *

_Notes:_

_The next few chapters (and this one) all about happen at the same time. Just so you all know. And the poll is still out there, for those who have not voted yet!  
_


	48. I Sure Don't, And That's Saying A Lot

**Throw Everything Out The Window**

**(Who Cares About Your Previous Plans Anyway?)**

"How did dings go?"

Antonio stared blearily at Gilbert before just letting him in. "Not... really yet."

"Huh. Okay."

Antonio sat down on his couch. He was very close to the end of the line. He did not want to see Alfred, not after this entire mess of telling him he did not have the ring and then calling him to ask where _he_ was. Antonio had given up really caring about that man at all, or trying to contact him. Certainly he was not going to open his door for him. So he had decided to try and pool enough money together for a new ring. Later he would try and explain what was going on to Vash and get his money back, but for now...

And Antonio did not know how to say all of that to Gilbert. Maybe Francis would have been able to get it out of him, but it had been several months since the man had last called. And Gilbert was right here. He should be able to talk to his friend, but... it was Gilbert. It was a bit different than talking with Francis. If by a bit one meant by a lot.

"De party de oder night vas really fun, sort of," Gilbert was saying, already in the kitchen and probably in his refrigerator. "I keep dinking someding really important happened, but I can't remember it. So it must hafe not been so important, right?"

The longer it took to come up with a new ring... Antonio wondered whether by that time Lovino would accept any of it. To explain his proposal would upset him, but the more time he had to think that Antonio had simply dumped him – that was worse. Antonio could not wait the amount of time it would take for him to find a new ring. And something lesser, like any of the small trinkets (still slightly expensive) he could try and scrape up from his house would not do. No, no, no...

"Ant Roderich vas being a pain, like usual. Either being a stupid, boring, gentleman to Eli, or talking high class crap vith Eduard or someone." Gilbert at least had the forethought to swallow before speaking so Antonio could hear what he was saying. Not that Antonio was paying too much attention. "Ant of course Ludwig alvays had Feliciano arount him. He's like a cancerous lump, alvays attatchet to him. I't be sick, but my bruder is actually happy. Ant dat nefer used to happen."

Lovino would think that Antonio just did not care. And it had taken Antonio a very long time to convince Lovino that he did care. Lovino could very easily believe that everyone hated him, his little tomato had little to no self-esteem to speak of. How could he have waited an entire day before thinking this?

Gilbert reentered the room, not even holding the food Antonio knew he had been eating.

"Is eferding okay? You hafen't said a vord since I came in."

_No. Everything is not okay._

"I need to see Lovino!" Antonio declared, getting up.

"I take it dings did not go vell," Gilbert said, confused. Antonio gave him a smile and left.

He would go to Lovino and explain everything.

* * *

_Notes:_

_My quick updates are a product of being excited for my new story (plus the fact I am done writing this one, so why not give you all more than one update?). One of the two options is winning by a lot, so I am preparing for that one. You never know though, suddenly the other story could suddenly get a lot of votes! Whichever wins, I am ready to start a new story. Loved writing this one, but I like starting new things and seeing whether they are as successful as my mind think they should be.  
_


	49. Just A Little Bit, Y'know?

**Guys, This Is A Little Overboard**

Now Alfred was confused beyond measure.

Yesterday was a mess. He had been nice enough to call before coming and he knew Antonio was home because at the very most he had picked up the phone. So when talking over the phone seemed pointless and he had come to his door, Antonio had not opened it.

So when he went home to complain to Arthur to get Antonio to just let him give him the damn ring Alfred was treated with an entirely quiet household. There were the faint traces that Brian and/or Roy had been there and Maddox's homework was still on the desk in the study uncorrected. No dinner being made, no fireworks going on in the basement. Which meant both Arthur and Maddox were out.

He had made his own food, played a game, went to sleep and lo and behold!

Wait, no. Next morning they still were not there.

"That's it," Alfred grumbled, not even bothering with his breakfast. "I'll throw this ring in through his window, I don't care. I don't know why he suddenly doesn't want this thing, but I bought it with _his_ money so he gets to keep it."

Why was everything a mess? Alfred did not know. But the sooner he could figure it out the better off he would feel. Alfred did not like being annoyed for he was very good at taking everything in good cheer. No one liked a grouch. Like Arthur.

_I'm not his mother. Hell if I need to know where he spent the night._

With all of this in mind Alfred headed back towards Antonio's house, where he was going to make the Spaniard take the ring if he had to throw it at him and run for it.

"Alfret!"

"Morning Ludwig!" Alfred said cheerfully, turning around to face him. "Oh, and Berwald! Can I help you two?"

"Y' can p'y f'r the frame," Berwald said. Ludwig gave a side glance towards his companion and Alfred quickly thought it through.

_Y' is you... You can... pay? Yeah, you can pay fer the... that what? That was frame. What frame?_ It took Alfred a few moments to remember what frame Berwald was probably talking about.

"Oh, that wasn't being junked? Sorry, it was just leaning out there, I didn't know," Alfred gave an apologetic smile.

"Ant my vindow?" Ludwig questioned. Alfred stopped. Not that there was much to translate with Ludwig's sentence, but trying to figure out anything about Ludwig's window that he was supposed to know about was taking him just as long.

"What about your window?" Alfred questioned.

"De one you broke," Ludwig prompted. Prompting what, Alfred had no idea.

"I didn't break any windows," Alfred responded. At least he could say that straight off truthfully. If there was one thing he knew at this moment, it was that he was getting annoyed and he had not broken a window. "Berwald, I'll stop by the shop in a bit and pay for the frame. But I have to talk to Antonio right now."

Alfred gave them both a smile and turned towards Antonio's house. Right before he felt both of them grab him by each arm.

"Hey! What are y–"

"I'm t'red 'f this. Y' already t'ld Gupta l's and st'ff."

"Dere's someding vrong vith you, Alfret," Ludwig said, both stiffly and tired. "You broke my vindow. I saw you do it."

"I did not!" Alfred protested.

But though he could have broken away from Berwald or Ludwig if it were a one on one deal, breaking free from the both of them at the same time was pretty much impossible unless either Tino or Feliciano were around for a distraction.

"I didn't break your window! Let me go! I told you I'd pay for the frame Berwald! Hey!"

Alfred just did not know that both of them, after hearing from Gupta and others, did not want to hear it.


	50. And That Is Always The Question

**Trying To Do The Right Thing**

**Only Works When You Know What That Is**

"_Sleep until eleven_ my... aru," Yao sighed, entering the store by pushing the door open with his crutch.

Muhammad had come over and made something inedible for breakfast and Yao wanted nothing more than tea. Which he seemed to be out of right now. So he would buy some of Kong's favourite! After this morning, he would not want to go back to Arthur's! He would stay with him!

Of course, that was saying that there was any morning left by the time Kong woke up. It was absolutely ridiculous that Arthur had allowed that habit to go on.

Yao had never been able to break it either, but that was not the point.

"...and... a-and now... now h-he w-won't talk... to m-meee!"

Elizaveta was crying into the front desk, where Tino was patting her shoulder consolingly. Now, not everyone cared for Elizaveta head over heels like Roderich and Gilbert did, but she was the lady in town of which it was horrid to even consider her crying.

"What's wrong, aru?" Yao asked, making his way over.

Tino looked up toward him. "Roderich found out about her... well, fetish," Tino said sadly. It took Yao a moment to realize which one.

"Who were the idiots who decided to have sex in the inn, aru?" Yao asked incredulously. Elizaveta pushed her hair back and Yao was treated with the strangest sight. She was still crying, but now she looked incredibly disturbed and intrigued. It was a strange way to look, really.

"Alfred and Ivan," she sniffed.

"Wh-what?" Tino coughed.

"Aru?" Yao gasped. "But Alfred – Kiku – but–"

"I don't know," Elizaveta tried wiping off the tears from her face, but they were instantly replaced. "All I know is that I saw them!"

"Surely..." Tino started, but Yao was already heading out. He had to tell Kiku! Oh, he knew Alfred was going to be no good for him! It was not the first time he had cursed Alfred, his broken leg, and Muhammad – but it certainly was the first time he had done all three at once. His only saving grace was that he did not live that far from the store.

And neither did Kiku.

"iLudo!" Yao gave a few sharp raps to the door. "iLudo! I need to talk to Kiku, aru!"

"Could you refrain from calling me that?"

"It's important!"

"Kiku has requested I do not let anyone in before ten and let anyone in whose name begins with 'ya' in at all."

"It has to do with Alfred, aru!" Yao protested, hitting the door once more. Stupid machine! Kiku did not need any help shutting out the outside world!

"Thank you, iLudovicus," Kiku said, opening the door and fixing Yao with a glare. "How may I help you, Yao?"

"Are you having breakfast?" Muhammad shouted from the Yao's kitchen window.

"Get out of my house, aru!" Yao shouted back at the Indian. Muhammad appeared to shrug and then shut the window.

"Really, Yao," Kiku spoke up. "What do you need?"

"Alfred slept with Ivan, aru!" Yao informed him. Only after informing him did Yao consider that he should have broken it to him a little more gently. But Kiku deserved to know! After dancing around this issue with Alfred for so long, he deserved to know that he should not bother with the idiot!

"Good bye," Kiku made to shut the door. Yao stuck his cast in between.

"I'm not making this up, aru. I'm serious."

Kiku stared at him for a moment and Yao could tell the exact moment when Kiku decided to believe him.

"I'm... sorry, aru," Yao said honestly.

Kiku did not respond. He simply slipped on his shoes and ran out of the house.

"Kiku!" Yao called, pulling his leg back. iLudovicus closed the door.

Yao was distracted by some laughing from his lawn. With a glare, he turned to see Muhammad.

"You are an idiot," Muhammad laughed at him.

"Shut up, aru!"

"_**What the hell happened?**_" Both Yao and Muhammad turned towards the house, where Arthur came out the front door. "_You!_" he pointed towards them. Whether he was pointing at him or Muhammad was not that clear. Yao was inclined to think it was toward Muhammad. "_**I**_- I don't have time for you!"

It was when he ran off screaming _'Alfred! Matthew!'_ that Yao was certain he must not have woken up yet.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Everyone calls iLudovicus iLudo. He does not appreciate it. But they think it would be easier to get away calling 'him' that then the real Ludovicus._


	51. Matthew's Heritage Is Really Wack

**One Point For the French Side!**

**(In Which If The English Side Knew, The French Side Would Be So Dead)**

Matthew was quite comfortable until the chill started to set in. A slight grumble and grasping for the blankets, he held them close to himself and tried to get back to sleep.

Which is when it came to him that he did not quite remember when he had gone to sleep in the first place and that was not natural for him. He usually remembered the going to bed part, even if not exactly when he went to sleep, so why was it he did not remember making it to this bed, and Matthew usually did not go to bed completely naked, if ever, so why...

Matthew sat up instantly, staring around the strange room for a few moments before remembering where he was and, more importantly, what he was doing last night. _Ah._

Now that was beyond embarrassing. Clutching the blankets tightly, Matthew looked around the room and realized he was alone.

_With a complete stranger too. Nice going, Williams, nice going, eh._

Frankly, the first person that came to mind to blame was his father.

"Papa! It's your fault I have always been so uncertain when it came to dates! Now, just for one stupid night... eh!"

Actually, blaming out loud made it sound stupid. Matthew screamed into a pillow.

And just like that was over it. Matthew stared into the darkness created by pillow covering before pulling it away from his face and staring at it.

_Why do I not mind, eh?_

Probably because he was so used to his father bringing someone home occasionally that it did not seem to matter much. He had enjoyed it. And when it came down to it, that was all sex was really about, right?

Well, other than for reproduction. But considering the genders involved in this experience, that would be rather a stupid worry. Still, after all of those years being a bit irritated at Francis for not seeming to care much about his partners... Matthew was glad at least that his father would never know he seemed to be slipping down the same path.

_God, I hope not. That would be horrible, eh._

Speaking of horrible, where was Ivan? He was not in the room... Matthew realized the man must have already left. Which made him feel a bit neglected.

_Oh. And he thought I was Alfred. Great._

In fact, that bothered him more than the having sex part did.

"I'm finding my wallet and getting out of here, eh," Matthew spoke aloud to the room, just to make certain he had said it. That was what he was supposed to be doing yesterday. But now all he really felt like doing was finding his wallet and shoving his ID into everyone's face that lived in this horrible town. Especially Ivan's.

Matthew got up and went to rinse off quickly in the shower. He was in there a total of one minute when he realized that not only was the window open (_oh please let no one have heard us)_ but that someone was shouting very loud out there. Matthew dried off his barely damp hair and tried to make out the figures from the window.

He could not make any of them out, at least from the few people he could remember, except for one.

Ivan.

Matthew practically hissed at the window and went to get dressed.


	52. That's As Real As It Gets

**All Against One, One Truth Tells All**

Such a pretty sight, made the town of Hearth in its winter glory. It was not new snow, but most of it was clean, but for the roads often tread by the residents of this town. Pretty it was.

From a distance.

The town physician was being restrained by a home repair mechanic man and a store manager, being pulled towards the constable's house. Which instantly grabbed the attention of practically anyone walking by. It was Alfred. Alfred was not often restrained by anyone other than Ivan (brute force) or Arthur (threats to beloved things at home). Plus, Alfred usually was never pleading his sanity. That was Arthur's deal.

Lovino, who was being pulled along by Feliciano, had been trying to escape his brother's grip. Feliciano was just as happy to bring Lovino and Antonio together now as he was with waiting. It was Lovino's idea, after all.

Feliks had told Toris this was going to be priceless and dragged him along to watch. Toris, reminding himself he was just going to have to get used to this behavior again, allowed himself to be led after the Italians.

Ivan was making his way away from the inn, telling himself it was the alcohol and he would never have touched Alfred otherwise. The fact he could hear Alfred yelling was not possible though and that he was blaming on his insanity, because Alfred was still asleep.

Kiku, running to find Alfred, ran into Eduard and both were knocked into the snow. After so many apologies from Kiku making Eduard almost think Raivis was home again, the both of them were distracted by how loud Alfred was becoming.

Alfred was a free spirit. Captivity made him as loud as a lorikeet.

Antonio had been running towards Lovino's house, Gilbert following behind. At least, until he heard his brother's voice and then he was diverting slightly from his friend's path. Not by much though, because just beyond Alfred, Antonio saw Lovino.

And Lovino saw Antonio.

"Hell no, I'm not doing this!" he whined, pulling back against Feliciano's grip.

"You told me to make certain you did!" Feliciano complained, pulling forward against Lovino's weight.

"We can talk this out!" Alfred pulled again on the arm Ludwig was holding. "I did not break your fucking window! Dammit!"

"You!" Ivan pointed at him. He stared behind him at the inn, making certain it was still there before he looked back at Alfred. "How did you get zere?"

"They dragged me here!" Alfred exclaimed, as if he was speaking the obvious. Which he was.

"But you vere in zere!" Ivan protested, gesturing back to where he just came from.

"Liar," Alfred stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ivan doesn't lie!" Toris found himself shouting before he thought much about it. Something again from college. Because other men did not like the fact Ivan could crush them into a pulp and would blame things on him. Toris was very good at protesting Ivan's innocence. It was an unconscious reaction.

"Toris!" Feliks complained, not really knowing the story. At least, not knowing how to connect it to Ivan.

"Toris?" Eduard questioned, breathing heavily as he appeared with Kiku. "Toris Lorinaitis?"

"Totally not time for this now!" Feliks shot back towards him.

Toris looked over towards the man he had met once. "But you never told him my last name," he said slowly.

"Not the time for this!" Feliks repeated.

"Alfred, you didn't sleep with Ivan, did you?" Kiku asked, wondering how exactly he became so forward. Alfred gagged on air and stared at Kiku as if _he_ were the one who should be restrained.

"Someone would have to kill me first!" Alfred exclaimed.

"_**I'll–**_" Ivan started to shout, before remembering Toris was there. He put his head in his hands and screamed.

"What the hell is everyone's problem?" Alfred asked.

"Like you don't know my problem!" Antonio retorted. "I've been trying to get that ring from you for two days!"

"It's in my pocket!" Alfred exclaimed. Antonio stood there, staring at him critically. "I couldn't find you! I told you to meet me at the party, but you weren't there!" Ludwig took that as his prompt to reach into Alfred's pocket and pull out the small box. "I tried calling you and you just spoke Spanish at me and wouldn't let me talk!" Ludwig held it out to Antonio, who held it rather delicately. "You wouldn't open the door when I came over! What was I supposed to do?"

Antonio opened the small parcel and stared at what was inside. His head came up and he immediately locked on to Lovino's position, who was now only pretending to pull away, as he was trying to figure out what all everyone was talking about.

In a few steps he was in front of the other.

"Lovino, marry me," he said immediately, dropping on one knee as if there was no snow.

Lovino stared at him, mouth open.

"Pretty diamond!" Feliciano examined happily.

If hell had not broke loose before, it had now.

"Oh. My. God!"

"Told you I had it!"

"Wait... people are actually happy here?"

"Dis is insane."

"Dat's life, little bruder."

"The full name is Eduard Von Bock. I'm your younger brother."

"Wh... really?"

"Oh. My. God."

"Wh't?"

And Ivan, quietly sobbing into his hands. "Pills not vorking..." More sobs escaped him.

"Lovino?" Antonio asked gingerly, almost afraid to look at the other's face as he had not said a word yet.

"Why would I want to marry you?" Lovino exploded. "You don't tell me what's going on, you make me break up with you, you're good for nothing–" And with that he grabbed the ring from Antonio and stuck it on his finger, staring it as if he could not quite believe it.

"Lovi...?"

"Get out of the snow, idiot," Lovino tried to scoff, but doing that and trying not to cry were two opposite activities that did not help each other.

"That's a yes, right?" Antonio questioned quietly.

"What do you think?" Lovino asked hotly. "You can't take it back now, you're stuck with me!"

"Am I ever!" Antonio cheered, wrapping his arms around Lovino and snogging him. Lovino protested. Perhaps for a fourth of a second before giving in.

"Never mind, getting married must be wonderful!" Feliciano exclaimed. If Ludwig turned any redder, the rest of his body would implode from lack of blood.

"Will you let me go now?" Alfred sighed.

"But... Alfred," started Kiku, who was the other person there who knew that Antonio really did try and get the ring from him earlier.

"_Alfred?_"

That was Matthew.

Alfred stared at the blond haired man with glasses walking towards him.

Matthew stared at the blond haired man with glasses who had responded to 'Alfred'.

Berwald and Ludwig released Alfred, just as it slowly came to dawn on everyone what they were seeing.

"Oh!" Gilbert hit his forehead with the palm of his head. "Dat's vhat it vas!"

Matthew stopped right in front of Alfred, examining the man he had been confused with for two days.

"He doesn't look like me at all!" they both shouted at their audience.

"Um, I totally beg to, like, differ," Feliks whistled.

"Alfred! Matthew!" Arthur gasped for breath, finally arriving. He spotted the objects of his search instantly and ran over to them. "Oh, Matthew! I'm so sorry," he hugged the more confused looking blond.

"Whu – hey!" Alfred protested. "Mom!"

"Mom?" Matthew questioned, looking back at Alfred from where he was being squished against Arthur, then up at Arthur. "A-oh. Oooh."

Matthew felt like an idiot. Just as much as Arthur did right now. And everyone else. Well, more than everyone else.

"This is your brother, Alfred," Arthur told him, loosening his grip on Matthew.

"My..." Alfred stared at Matthew for a second. "Well hey!" he grinned, before glaring at Arthur. "He still doesn't look like me!"

No one agreed with this except for Matthew.

Ivan was too relieved to care.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Yeah, Eduard made a huge leap there. But hit it dead centre, so no complaints! After all, when people first hear about something there is a lot of comparisons made with other things as well, is there not? I hope so, or else I am just going to use my 'creative license' excuse._

_And where was Vash at this time? Probably trying to get his house to cooperate. iMarcus does not always try and get in his way, but iMarcus is not a morning person. Please ignore this statement, everyone in Hearth has already made the appropriate comments when Kiku tried to explain it to them.  
_

_Woah. This chapter made me dizzy just writing it. I hope it all makes sense. Bleh. One more chapter to wrap (most) everything up!_


	53. There Is No Normal In Hearth

**This Is The Normal**

**(A Normal Day In Hearth)**

The door opened. He did not bother to move, because there was no where to go. If Vash was going to say anything, he would say it now.

The strange thing was that he was not saying anything. Vash seemed rather so diligent and similar in his routines. Francis could not understand why the man had not done as he had all of yesterday and the day before. Really, had he found anyone to pay the fine yet? Francis wished he could go out and do some convincing himself. He was very good at that.

And this time he would choose someone that did not have a boyfriend around who could probably crush walls with his hands.

"Francis."

"Arthur!" Francis turned, rising to his feet instantly. "Is it really you?"

Arthur tapped his fingers again a box and seemed to just appraise him for a few moments.

"Oh, of course you would come for me!" Francis gripped the bars. Arthur turned and grabbed a chair. It was Francis' first sign something was wrong. "Arthur?" Arthur opened the box he had with him, showing the still steaming crêpes. "What are... what are you doing?"

Arthur pulled out a fork and knife and dug in. "I'm enjoying myself."

Francis gaped as Arthur ate his crêpes. "_You_... horrid!" he reached through the bars, only a few centimeters from being able to reach Arthur's leg. "I should be the one outside the cell eating crêpes!"

"But you're not, you're in jail," Arthur mentioned, quite contented. "Where you belong."

"Where_ I_ belong?" Francis questioned, stopping his frantic reaching to regain his poise. "Whatever did _I_ do to deserve being in jail before you left me, _ma belle femme_?"

"That!" Arthur threw the crêpes at him, already stomping towards the door.

"Oh non..." Francis stared at the door in slight shock and disbelief. Then he shouted: "You cannot have left me because I called you a woman!"

"Fuck off!" came the response.

Francis felt both horrible, cheated, and he started to laugh.

Only a woman would take so much offense at that!

* * *

"Git," Arthur muttered as he stepped out of the jail. Staring up at the sky, he smirked. _Francis will regret coming back here. Mark my words I will make him regret it._ He turned to look at Vash, who was looking annoyed. Probably because he knew where the food ended up. Arthur was slightly apologetic, but still very irritated.

"Let him out in an hour or so."

"...sure," Vash shrugged, not seeming to allow himself to say anything more. Arthur thanked him and headed to the restaurant.

* * *

"Feliciano, table five wants an order of manicotti."

"But I want to make veal parmesan!"

"Whatever. Your boyfriend is gonna get baccalà."

"But he ordered potatoes!"

"So?" Lovino scoffed, stopping as he saw Antonio leaning against the door frame. "Customers aren't supposed to come back here."

"What about fiancés?" Antonio questioned, a look of concern on his face. Not that he was actually concerned. Not anymore.

"I... think we can make an exception for those," Lovino said breathlessly. Feliciano grabbed the platter in Lovino's hands before he could drop it. Once relieved of that duty, Lovino ran to Antonio, practically jumping him. Antonio laughed and kissed him.

Feliciano smiled and headed out, setting the tray down and almost mimicking Lovino's actions and jumping Ludwig. Ludwig was sitting in a chair though and it was a bit awkward. At least, it was for him. Feliciano did not seem to notice.

"And this is where everyone who is anyone comes to eat," Alfred told Matthew as they stepped in. "Hey Feli! Have room for us?"

"Of course!" Feliciano chirped, sliding out of Ludwig's lap. "Arthur coming too?"

"Hopefully."

"Oh... um... then you're Matthew?"

Matthew turned to see Heidi, wringing something between her hands. "Uh, yeah, eh."

"I'm Heidi. I found your wallet," she handed it over, looking a little upset about it. Matthew gave her a smile and took it.

"Thanks, Heidi."

"Hey, why's that corner all closed up?" Alfred asked Ludwig, pointing in the general direction.

"Quiet," Ludwig frowned. "Elizaveta and Roderich are making up."

"Making up, or making out?"

"De former. I hope." The look on Ludwig's face was disgusted. Of course it would, he was gay and he never liked thinking about a woman in the equation. Plus there was the fact that since they were in the corner, Roderich would likely give in to the latter if Elizaveta opened up the suggestion. Heidi had a camera and was probably taking pictures for Elizaveta's future enjoyment.

"Well–" Alfred was cut off by a tug on his sleeve.

"May... may I impose myself?" asked Kiku quietly.

"Feliciano!" Alfred called. "Make that four!"

"Here's your table!" Feliciano waved them over, where the three took their places. Matthew saw Ivan and his seemingly nervous older sister at another table, already eating. Ivan, upon seeing him, gave a hesitant wave, which he returned.

"Why does Muhammad laugh every time I ask about Alfred and Ivan, aru?" Yao demanded as soon as he entered the door. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Me and Ivan what?" Alfred asked.

"Ah..." Yao looked hesitant. Kiku turned towards Alfred.

"What I asked yesterday. About... you... um... sleeping. Together." Kiku's voice got smaller and smaller. Alfred was about to laugh, except he saw Matthew's cheeks turn bright red.

"Oh! No!" Alfred pointed at him. "No! Ew! No!"

"Alfred, that's rude," Kiku said quietly, trying to get him to stop.

"No, Matty! Ivan is just creepy. That is not a good thing at all! I mean, you should see what he does with his other sister!"

Ivan glowered at him. "I do not and you know it, Alfred."

"Uh, yeah right!"

Arthur came in and took his seat, just as Matthew tried to stop the argument.

"I'll sleep with whoever I want to, eh!"

Arthur burst into tears.

* * *

_The end. Sort of. Poor Arthur. Yes, he did pay Francis' bail. And no, being called a woman is not really why he left. It just did not make him predisposed to hearing Francis out about anything else.  
_

_Wow! Look at the chapters! Thank you all for sticking through this long ride with me, I know some times it must have been annoying._

_A shout out to my recurring reviewers: AnimeDuchess, I Spazz With Pizzazz, crimson-obsidian-rose, mankinfan, Anastasie Rossi, The Illustrious Tama, Kage31, Kyra213, crystal-chan, EmoLollipop, Dethfck, Albinokitten, AnnoCat and every one else who has reviewed even once or twice, and whoever had this on alert or favourites. For those who write fanfiction our goal really is to please our fellow fans. It is wonderful to hear that it is being enjoyed, confusing, making you think, whatever.  
_

_I meant to have everyone have a chapter in their point of view, but I know I missed plenty. Like Tino and Maddox and Yong Soo. But I feel accomplished despite that. I did manage to get plenty in! As you all noticed, not everything came to a close. Only a few relationships were resolved, Yong Soo still has to pay for the painting, Gupta has to find a new frame, Katyusha and Angus have a date to go on, and other things as well. I have left this open because it leaves potential to write more at a later date. I already have some ideas for some one shots that would take place both before and after this story. If anyone has any questions about the story or anything I have mentioned in here, I could probably elaborate on it in a one shot. I think someone asked for something about Heidi's photography job...  
_

_Plus I have a sequel in mind which will cover Antonio and Lovino's wedding. Maybe called Much Ado About Everything, but no promises!  
_

_This is a goodbye to my daily updates. My next story will have more chapter sized chapters than this. Still, I will try not to be too slow!  
_

_The winner of the poll is: Discovering Ludwig! No worries for those who voted with interest for Half-Life, England's story will be told at a later date. I am not dropping it, just not working on it presently. The first chapter should be up, so go off and read it as you please!_


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